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So I heard that some people in our office are spying on my actions here. They better be not the ones visiting my department for some food and gossip. Ya'll better clean your closets first before hitting me.

I Met a girl (Kate) over a two years ago, Kate and I became close friends.. She ended up sleeping with my best friend, I didn't care because Kate and I were partners in crime, friends and nothing more.
Fast forward to October last year. I started to feel like I was falling for her, I needed to stop it, so I did everything I can.. Avoid hanging out with her so much, go through as many women as I can, It got to a point that her best friend (Emily) figured it out and confronted me, so I said yes I do have feelings for Kate, BUT I don't want anything more than a friendship,.. I just need space.
Early January Kate found out, I said the same thing. Yes I do have feelings, but our friendship means more to me, I just need space. She was angry but agreed.. or so I thought.. She gave me 3 days of space, and asked me if I was over it yet.. I said no, but she continue to force herself back into my life.. I gave in, I said to myself "I can make this work"..
But Every time were together, she would bring it up and cause fights, claiming she didn't want anything and didn't have feelings for me in that way, which made no sense to me considering that I clearly said I didn't want anything to begin with... I said "I'm here being you friend like you asked, you really need to drop it"
It kept getting worse, I was so overwhelmed by everything she caused.. I made a choice.. we went for a drive to the beach and sat with her, to tell her that I can’t do this anymore, that all the fights where too much over nothing, I said I need to walk away, I need you out of my life, I care for you too much to pretend I don't. I tried to give you what you wanted, but it wasn't good enough for you. I'm done.

With a heavy heart she accepted my decision, asked me not to leave but understand why I have too.

Thinking it was the last time I would ever see her I went off the rails a little.. Weeks later, by a freak chance we both decided to go to the same place, when we both hate that place.. Not knowing each other would be there. I wasn't going to ignore her and said hello. Being as drunk as she was and I was driving a friend so sober, she would not leave me alone the whole night, got to a point where she convinced me to drive her home.. We sat outside her house until 6am talking, because she refused to leave until we were friends again.
I explained to her, it was too hard for me, I’m always going to want more, and you keep telling everyone but me that it’s never going to happen. (not that I want it to happen).

In the end she got her way, friends again with one clause, that she drops it and not to bring it up again.. she agreed. Things were good, no fights, no drama, like old times..
Until one night, she decided to tell me, "I've always had feelings for you, and it’s your fault we are not together".. Which causes an argument, blamed me for everything, not being together, not telling her sooner, not giving us a chance. And at the end of the night she kissed me, and I pulled away.

Confused, upset, I said I need time to think... She gave me a full solid 16hrs..
We met up, I explained that I don't like to let girls in, I’ve been hurt twice and promised myself never again, But I’m willing to take a chance with you. She agreed.
I don't regret the decision. By far the best relationship I had ever had, few bumps because we were friends for so long before, but nothing serious. I fell for her, and fell for her hard.. She did too, we were happy.

Fast forward to 1 week ago.. We were out with friends, drinking having fun.. When her "best friend" Emily decides to tell Kate, who was already annoyed at me because apparently I wasn't paying much attention to her.. That Emily and I hooked up once.. Kate storms out and cries, didn't give me a chance to explain..

Later, I found them at another pub, having a great time.. Then proceeds to call me a liar and a cheat, for hiding what happened.

I told her the truth, it was a peck and I pulled away, it happened when we weren’t even talking or you were in my life... at the time you told everyone we know, that you wanted nothing from me...

But nothing, she left me.. And now she believes me to be a liar and deceitful and everything I wasn't.
Tells me "she has to think about herself for once". That angered me due to the fact, all she ever has done is think about herself.. Never care about how I felt or what I needed..

We were friends for so long, then together.. She should have had more faith in me, she should see all I have done to make her happy. How can I accept the fact lost someone I care for the most in the world over something that was never hidden or even should matter?

I don't know what's wrong with me, I make up the stupidest lies. My boyfriend cheated on me over a year ago but I still feel sick to my stumich thinking about it. I'm doing bad in school, I don't even care anymore. I love my boyfriend but I want to be a dude, dress like a dude, cut my hair like a dude. I wish I was born a guy, all anyone says is how all of that is a sin. But they don't get it, I feel so uncomfortable with myself now, dressing how I think everyone wants me to be. I hate this..

I don't know what's wrong with me, I make up the stupidest lies. My boyfriend cheated on me over a year ago but I still feel sick to my stumich thinking about it. I'm doing bad in school, I don't even care anymore. I love my boyfriend but I want to be a dude, dress like a dude, cut my hair like a dude. I wish I was born a guy, all anyone says is how all of that is a sin. But they don't get it, I feel so uncomfortable with myself now, dressing how I think everyone wants me to be. I hate this..

I hate stupid "trans" teens who feel that they need to brag about their gender (non-stop trans pride posts) I'm pretty sure half of them are lying ugly losers who want an excuse as to why nobody will date them for example a loser, ugly teen Girl claiming to be a Gay Male says "oh that hot guy won't date me cuz I'm trans wow what a cis" I support real trans people and anyone in the LGBT community I just hate liers.

My "best" friend who has been rejected countless times continues to go after this certain girl. She, for some stupid reason, plays along and I never get a f****** chance.

I REALLY hate talking about emotions, and generally try to get out of the conversation by lying. I really do not want to open up, even to my own husband, it makes me really uncomfortable. TBH, it pisses me off when he tries to initiate an emotional conversation, because i just want to hang up. I shared that article about "emotionally unavailable" people hoping people would get the hint... I just don't want to be bored/mentall exhausted by your crap. Thank my ex, who I over extended myself to. I just don't have the patience for it anymore.

Hi guys, I know there are a lot of people on here suffering in silence. Maybe your angry about something going on in the world, or angry at someone out there like parents or even your kids. You might have depression and may feel like you have nothing left or no one left. Or maybe you just want to talk about someone who isn't going to judge you like the thousands of people who do every day when your just trying to be yourself. I'm not a councillor or a therapist but if you ever need someone to text or talk to in times when you just feel like absolute **** or when you are furious with everyone and everything I've got your back. Whoever you are I don't mind I just want to make sure you know that your valued, and your loved. My number is 0481381775 if you ever want to chat. Keep your head up guys because your never alone xxx

I'm so sick of Australia getting **** on with these messed up laws. I'm not trying to annoy individuals but if you do get annoyed by this then it is a venting site so eh. I can't believe we are allowing Australian laws to go down the drain for people coming over by boats or Islamic people, I don't care if they come over and agree to go by our laws, or even if they build a church or ten, but if you live here live by our laws. If you want to go into a bank it is a law you must take off any head gear that covers your face so comply with it. If you dont want to comply then go back to where the law isn't in place. I'm just sick of changing things for people who have come over here to live. We are AUSTRALIANS and even though half of our laws are bullshit its kinda what makes Australia run and it just pisses me off when people come over and think their above the law because of religion! Get a clue your not....

I have absolutely no idea what to do about the fact that very few of my friends care about anything but being fabulous or partying or other bullshit, and I can't relate to any of them anymore

everyone thinks theyre so progressive and openminded but then they wont even listen at all people are exhausting and i feel really overstimulated

I HAVE NOBODY MY PARENYS HATE ME BECAUSE IM A BITCH AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS I ABSOLUTELY HATE MYSELF AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

I HAVE NOBODY MY PARENYS HATE ME BECAUSE IM A BITCH AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS I ABSOLUTELY HATE MYSELF AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

I don't understand why I can't make real friendships and connections with anyone. I've lived in this town for almost two years and tho I am a very social butterfly in school, I am never invited anywhere and am always thought of as an afterthought. Its my last day in town for two months and I've been sitting here all day by myself. WTF. It's not like I'm just waiting for something to magically happen. I had plans and now I just got a text [from the person whom I had plans with] " Hey .. Apparently we are going out somewhere in half an hour.. I think they are gonna surprise me with something. I will let you know where we are gonna be later if you are still around". SO AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR YOUR SURPRISE TO BE OVER??? AND WHO IS WE?? I THOUGHT WE HAD PLANS.

I'm 5"3, 103 pounds and my asian ******* parents still call me fat. **** you.

Okay, so, I'm a teenager that writes books. The thing is... I just don't know how to finish them. I start writing the beginning and then when I do, I'm just not satisfied with it! I come up with so many great ideas (I don't mean to blow my trumpet) yet I'm afraid of ruining it, because if someone could come up with the same ideas, it would be 10x better than what I could do. I'm so frustrated with myself, I can't think of doing anything else but writing in the future and to do that I have to actually start writing!

I hate children. Babies and toddlers, especially. I hate them so much that even typing those words gets me angry! "Toddlers.." Aaaah!! I am addicted to watching baby boys get circumcisions done (live)! I find the videos on the internet. I loove hearing the baby boys SCREAM as their penises are being cut open with no anesthesia! They always scream bloody murder! It makes me feel very good to see this. I sometimes fantasize about squeezing the hell out of a little baby's ****, or a toddler/young boy's. I f--king hate them! I hate grown men too for reasons I won't get in to here. I hope those little males are traumatized for life from being circumcised. I don't feel an ounce of empathy for them. I loathe hearing kids screaming on the train or bus. I'd surely GIVE THEM A REASON to scream if I could! Little f---kers!

Your my friend but you disrespect me, my household and my dogs. How does that even make sense? I don't need your friendship, I have plenty of other friends, family and an amazing man in my life, but I give you chance after chance to stay in my life and you are still like this. I listen to you talk about the same things over and over and over again, I ignore you when you say rude things, when you try to one up me, when you are acting like a spoiled brat. You literally yelled at my dog from the minute you walked in the door today until the minute I finally told you to leave. And then instead of apologizing to me before you leave you say all of this over a stupid dog....DONE. This DOG is my best friend, my child and if you don't realize how much she means to me, you don't deserve to be called my friend. You don't know enough about me to be my friend. She is a living breathing thing just like me just like you and you need to respect her.

I think my text to her was clear enough....here it is...

I'm going to be completely honest with you. You will not ever get away with disrespecting me, disrespecting my animals, my things. You need to grow up. You need to realize when you are in someone else's home and treat their animals and things with respect. I get th at she was in your space, but there are ways to deal with that other than screaming at her every single time she comes near you. You literally did not take one minute to pet her and expect her to go away and not want your attention. You yelled at her no sooner than you walked into my house. She is NOT and never will be JUST a dog to me. She is a living thing that deserves respect just like me and you. If you don't see or understand how much she means to me then you clearly don't know me that well, and IF you cannot respect me, my dog and my household, I don't want you here.

Rant done I think. I do feel better now....

I feel like my Dad doesn't even trust me. Like what did I do? He doesn't let me be a teenager. It makes me SO MAD! One of my close guy friends came to call on me with other people, and apparently he started asking the same questions he asked me. (Which I answered like 29384728347 times.) I go out, and he is just so obsessive. He doesn't understand anything, and when I DO talk to him he just pushes me down, takes other people's sides. Then he wonders why I don't talk to him, or stay in my room. I would chose to live with my Mom, but I don't want her to worry too much about money. Ugh. Oh yeah, he doesn't even let me keep my phone and laptop in my room! I don't even use my laptop at night! (When I'm my Dads, my Mom lets me stay up). All it does is make it a lot of trouble to set everything up again. Like gosh darnit. Why? WHY?

Whywhywhywhy
I keep thinking about you constantly, and I adore the relationship we have now, I really do. I want us to stay like this forever, but we can't. As much as I want to, and as happy as I feel it would make me, you don't feel the same way. You love someone else, someone who is also one of my good friends. But why do I get these emotions, I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU THROUGH THIS. JUST LIKE I HAVE BEEN WITH ALL OF YOUR OTHER PROBLEMS. But I can't, but I want to, yet I can't. I just want it to be me, I want to be the one you love. Why do you even want them, when it's me you tell almost everything to? I see a relationship as something just as great as a friendship between two best friends, pluss the romantic/sexual aspects of a relationship. But you don't? How can you not understand. You seem so oblivious to this yet you've already been in a relationship, one that didn't work out in the first place. I don't even understand what you ever saw in them to begin with. The way the treated you then and even now when you're no longer together. You constantly want to keep a friendship between them, but it won't work. I don't want it to work either. I want you to let them go. They have hurt you enough. Please, you're so young, don't waste your time on someone that doesn't even reply to your messages, and even has the nerve to lie to you, and bail on you whenever you wanted us to meet them.
I just don't know what to do myself, I want you, I've even told you myself. You answered by saying you don't particularly want a relationship like that, and I said it was ok. But it wasn't.
I just said it because that's how I want it to be, but it isn't.
You talk about how your life was with your previous lover, and now you keep talking about how much you love the one who is my friend. Something has yet to happen now, but I don't want to see that either, but that would mean I hate my friend, and don't want them to have what I want as well.
I just feel horrible.
I want you.
Yet I don't want to others to hurt because of my own selfishness.
Because then I'd be just like them.

Y'know bro, I gave you so much. So freakin' much. you talked about sharing like it was something that everyone should participate in. Then why didn't you? It's not like any of the items I gave you were free; it really did take a lot from my personal funding to help you. I was just trying to be a good person. Maybe that's where I faltered, due to the fact that I just assumed you would do the same for me. I know I shouldn't expect people to just be good all the time, but I was your friend. After years of chilling, I still don't understand why I was the one always spending the money on "the bottle" or "the bag". I wouldn't say you don't have the right to be angry, but it is no where near justified with your backing. You didn't do one good thing for me, yet I felt like I did so much. While I would agree that the nature of my kindness derives from me wanting to potentially be a better person, The fact that you decided to handle this entire situation by being an ******* instead of with diplomacy instates the fact that you never really did care; I was just something you could gain from. I could have been enraged; I remained calm in our discussions, and I apologized despite the fact that I didn't do anything. I really do hope you come around man, but reality is often different than expectation.

Well. Tbh. It no longer hurts as much as it did before. It's either I am getting used to it or I simply do not give a damned at all anymore. I am sick of asking people how they are feeling, consoling people when they are down and providing a shoulder to those who needs it. Where in the beautiful and colorful world is mine when I needed one. Just where.

As much patience and as much bandwidth I have to tolerate stuff. I am only human too. My heart is probably shattered to the point its funny yet I still hold on. I could give up everything and anything. I would readily believe anything even if it sounded out of the world. All I asked for, is just for her to have a fraction of the trust I gave to be returned. I am probably one of the many morons out there who blindly and aimlessly hold on but to all the brothers in arms out there. As much as everyone tells us its not worth it. YOLO people. Sigh. If only life could be simple.

As much patience and as much bandwidth I have to tolerate stuff. I am only human too. My heart is probably shattered to the point its funny yet I still hold on. I could give up everything and anything. I would readily believe anything even if it sounded out of the world. All I asked for, is just for her to have a fraction of the trust I gave to be returned. I am probably one of the many morons out there who blindly and aimlessly hold on but to all the brothers in arms out there. As much as everyone tells us its not worth it. YOLO people. Sigh. If only life could be simple.

I am in a emotionally abusive relationship that makes no sense to me besides my partner undiagnosed biopolarmism. I am actually emotionally strong and usually could take care of my self in a time of stress, but as time goes on I felt like nothing makes sense and why I still with this man. I always tried to understand but I also like things to be fair as well. I have been with this man for over 7 years. As time goes on he is emotionally unstable, and financially crippling both me and himself. He just don't understand thing like responsibility and obligation and his only excuse was because he felt like it. He was worries that I will break up with him and leave. I want to break up with him if I didn't put so much at stake. I felt like he trapped me and he refuse to admit he was wrong. I always told him he needs to be empathetic and understand others and not think of himself. I also told him to feeling sorry about himself since he is better off than most people. He only feels like a loser because of his own bad action. example was he promise to go to coding school but instead he quit his job and didn't go to school and he went unemployed for half a year and all he does is play video games. Because he quit he can't get unemployment benefits as well to pay his bill. Also he have no savings due to his bad spending. He only have left was the house was under his name but he gave that up to his mom because he owe me money refuse to mortgage the house to pay me back. He worries I will take his house but how can I when it wasn't under my name. I told him just pay me back and his excuses was because I will break up with him. He doesn't even know his action just makes me hate him even more. I'm tired of is illogical and insecurity. So what he just got a new job. It does change the fact that he hurt me and he lied and make excuses. Also he want me to be the bad guy just because I told him the truth. Also he refuse to get his bipolar situation check because he thinks nothing is wrong with him and I the crazy one when I get emotionally stressed out and wants to vomit because of his lack of logic.

I'm scared and sad. My friends have been together for a long time now and they've been going through a lot with their relationship. Right now they are crying in the other room and hearing it really makes me sad. I wish I could help them, and I really want to know whats going on... I know I can't just come in and interrupt their flow but... its just so sad. They both had a rough past, especially one I will call S. N is the other friend of mine. N has hurt S a lot in their relationship but I really want them to pull through. It scares me A LOT when they fight because sometimes it just seems to be going nearer and nearer to the end.

I think I am overreacting though. They aren't fighting, which I am glad for, they are just crying a lot, and I think its a good thing. I am just scared if maybe I am wrong.... S holds in a lot of her feelings and N thinks things are getting better. And I do believe she is getting better, she is treating S right... but... S still doesn't feel right and I don't know if she ever will in N's arms. You know what I mean?

:/ I'm just sad and scared....

SO SICK OF THE ******* GOOGLE FLIGHT SIMULATOR **** FUCKLING ME OFF MOTHERFUCKERS **** COCKSGHvsjdfbgv
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ihate google <fpgjghe5yj6666666666666666666666666666666

This has got to be the worst time ever. After going out and have fun you sonehow manage to just ruin everything because you over react on everything. I dont know if its because youre drunk or youre tired but you just **** everything up and manage to just blame for just about everything. I really wish sometimes that i could just ******* break up w you and leave you. I have no idea how to let you go. I have tried so many times but you will never just let me. Maybe the only way to do it is to cheat on you. I probably will and to hurt you the most I will sleep with your best friend behind your back. **** you.

He deserves a beautiful butterfly, not an insect with a butterfly tattoo...

He deserves a beautiful butterfly, not an insect with a butterfly tattoo...

It doesn't seem to matter what I do...I will always wind up getting depressed and it's always worse each time. Every day this week, I have been battling depression and irritability. Guess what? It has finally hit. And confirmed my suspicion of my having bi-polar disorder. So far today, I have had a wide range of emotions within less than an hour. Anger, fury, depression, sorrow, hopefullness and as of right now, complete despair. I know I used to be a Christian and now I'm at the point that I'm wondering how God could be full of love.... But, if God isn't real or full of love, there is no purpose to life. There is no reward after death. And no real consequences for things that we do. Which means that no amount of pain can or ever will lead to anything good. At least no lasting good. Which means...all this pain? It's pointless and nothing I do matters. I hate myself more than anyone else could ever hate me.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do...I will always wind up getting depressed and it's always worse each time. Every day this week, I have been battling depression and irritability. Guess what? It has finally hit. And confirmed my suspicion of my having bi-polar disorder. So far today, I have had a wide range of emotions within less than an hour. Anger, fury, depression, sorrow, hopefullness and as of right now, complete despair. I know I used to be a Christian and now I'm at the point that I'm wondering how God could be full of love.... But, if God isn't real or full of love, there is no purpose to life. There is no reward after death. And no real consequences for things that we do. Which means that no amount of pain can or ever will lead to anything good. At least no lasting good. Which means...all this pain? It's pointless and nothing I do matters. I hate myself more than anyone else could ever hate me.

There used to be a time when Friday nights meant going out with friends, staying out until early morning, laughing, having a great time. Now that I'm married and have a child, I find myself alone every night with no one to talk to.
My husband works the graveyard shift so if I'm lucky I see him for an hour a day and up to 7 to 10 hours in a week. I'm lonely and bored. My friends all have lives of their own obviously. Some with kids, some without. Either way I'm feeling left out of plans and fun. I can get a babysitter, just not the invites to tag along....

I think that perhaps religion does exist, and I'm not saying I have found God no. If anything I have found Satan to exist, not from personal knowledge or meeting but I think he could exist just due to so much evil in this world and the system is backwards. Look at musicians for example, how many of them claimed they have sold their souls to the devil? Look at some of the signs they make in their videos, it is crazy. I mean the music isn't even good at this day and age, a lot of these people are so ignorant. As if they were placed their. **** I have no idea, but I am concerned, as surely I'm going to hell.

I think that perhaps religion does exist, and I'm not saying I have found God no. If anything I have found Satan to exist, not from personal knowledge or meeting but I think he could exist just due to so much evil in this world and the system is backwards. Look at musicians for example, how many of them claimed they have sold their souls to the devil? Look at some of the signs they make in their videos, it is crazy. I mean the music isn't even good at this day and age, a lot of these people are so ignorant. As if they were placed their. **** I have no idea, but I am concerned, as surely I'm going to hell.

Every single day I get older I learned that I cannot stand people who comes up with a bunch of excuses just so they don't have to do things that they were supposed to do. Why is it so hard for people to be honest with what they feel? If they don't want to do something say it! You put too much effort in lying, making up excuses rather than being honest, which is by far the easiest option! Why is telling the truth so hard to do? Why are we so afraid of it?

Why am I the only one willing to sacrifice a bit of me for the good in the long term.

My boyfriend got upset, because the baby and I were having trouble getting to sleep. He woke up, got dressed, and said he had to run errands. It was 11pm, he did get home till 3am. I am not that upset about it. Just wondering what errands could he need to do that late at night.

Found a bunch of old tweets from A*** R**** about rape. He claimed that, "Rape is the new swag." and that if a girl is bullying a guy, the only reasonable thing to do is rape her. He stated that if girls hit guys, they should be beaten because, "Girls want to be equal anyway." This man is obviously not against rape and and is sexist. If he wants people to be "Equal" then he should find out what it's like to be raped. But no, if he can get f*cked in the *ss and get up and say it's nothing, then I'll leave him alone. I'm just saying.

Bikers are attention whores! Nobody wants to hear you attention whores! You are utterly disrespectful. Such levels of sound that they produce should be illegal. We should not be forced to participate in their attention whoring.

and i feel so bad because i was so frozen and the video was still playing and i couslnt react i was so shoked and how do i get that out of my ead iw ant to die fucm **** ****,,,,, writing this out makes me feel less gross though god ewww

i was scrolling down tumblr and there was a post that was a call out post for someone who had posted hchildporn uring people to report them, an i was scrolling so quckly that i clicked on the link and now i feel so disgusting that i saw it and i camt get the image out if my mind and it i didnt even react for like 30 seconds after exiting the tab and i want to puke its so gross why would that exist i want to just erase my mind help help help hel

I LOVE HOW MY COUSIN LOVES TO ACT LIKE I DIDNT INTRODUCE HER TO BANDS SHE LIKES. like I find some awesome band that like barely anyone knows about and I tell her a billion times to check them out and then she buys the album and I hadn't saved up enough yet and she got the deluxe and everything and she's like I love them so much and stuff and I'm like yeah you're welcome for introducing them to you and she's like no I found out about them myself. XCUSE ME BUT NO YOU DID NOT HAPPEN TO FIND THIS BAND RIGHT AFTER I SAID SOMETHINF NO. and it doesn't matter but it's annoying AND IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME

I hate Chinese people. If you are going to eat a dog, at least kill it before you boil it.

Why are people like this?! My cousin moved to NZ a few years ago, buys a mini schnauzer puppy on a whim when she lives in a city apartment where they forbid dogs, and the poor dog who was never socialised is now very vocal and barks at everyone especially little children.

Thankfully she moved out with her partner since her partner bought a house. Then she goes and buys another dog on a whim and this time a massive Doberman puppy.

Her love for her pets is taking them wherever she goes even to restaurants where they just sit in her car. She says she feels sorry for them and I completely agree since she's such an incompetent owner. From vet treatments where they ask her dog to be on a strict diet to determine if an issue is food related, she constantly gives her dog treats dispite the vet warning her that if they're fed anything other than the prescribed food it won't work. And she then complains that despite so many vet visits they can't find a cure. No kidding!!

Her Doberman started to bark at neighbours and I doubt she does much correcting even though she has a dog trainer that visits once every month. It got to a point where her neighbours started throwing sticks and rocks at the dog and they had to call the police. She ended up giving the Doberman but not after almost breaking up the her partner over the dog.

What really frustrates me is that I also have a dog and used to and still have rabbits. Her dog scared my rabbit so much it jumped off the second floor balcony. You think she'd get the hint not to bring her dog over? Nope. My mom used to baby sit kids at our house and her dog has a particular fear/dislike towards little kids and you'd think she would leave her dog at home? Nope she still brings him over and keeps him in a different room. Her dog also taunts my dog and my dog excited and my cousins solution? Oh better put your dog away even though this is your house so my dog can have free reign since if they play too roughly your mom won't like it. WTF?

She doesn't even try and control her dog. It's shameful to be walking around with her and her dog since he barks at everyone. I finally snapped and asked her not to bring her dog over anymore. I'm 5 months pregnant and not in a good condition where I have to control my dog or hers. And she had the nerve to ask why? Why can't she bring him over? Do I really even need a reason and seriously is she so dense and thick skinned to feel that she's been wronged?

Plus she speeds and uses her mobile while driving and is close to getting her license taken away and yet asks me to dispute her tickets because she can't speak English and it's like, 1 you deserve them and it will do good for people like you to stay off the roads and 2 you're in NZ, learn English for fucks sake. You've been in this country what 5 years and it's like you just got off the plane.

She moved to NZ with her partner also a girl to escape to place with more acceptance. When they first moved here they had to stay in my room, double bunk beds, and I was in the middle of exams then. Normal people would shut up and sleep when it's like 1am right? Esp if you're staying at your relatives house who you know is having exams. I had to tell the to shut up because they obviously didn't have the courtesy to. And they were all like, oh so we can't talk?

I'm tired of being their translator, their own frickin contact centres for all their needs and even their friends needs. Having to bring back a shitload of their stuff when I was overseas and even dog toys. She even complained why did she buy so much if I wasn't going to bring them all back? I had to take out my own clothing to fit her dog toys in.

All in all, why are people like this? Whenever I complain I'm told you need to help others and they will help you back. But in this case I'd rather never get their help to be spared all this. If she wasn't family she would have been out along time ago.


To some *** on a forum called Xanje: "oh look at me i'm a pregnant woman in her twenties, i outsmarted a 14 year old! Public schools brainwash you whaaa!" Pretty much what I hear from her. JUST LEAVE THE SITE ALREADY!

I feel invisible. I feel like he doesn't care. He says he does but I don't feel like he shows it and when I specifically tell him the very simple things I need to be happy he still won't do them. It would take so little effort.

"you should always move forward" ........ which way is forward?

What is going on with this "Black Pride" agenda? You have the whole black community protesting in a manner that would have Martin Luther King Jr. turn over in his grave ; doing somersaults by now. Because cops have been abusing their power ( like they always had since the beginning of civilization) ? Destroying your own neighborhood to "peacefully protest" isn't getting your point across. "We want Justice"? You living in the middle of the New Age Babylon and accept "justice"? LOL. Jesus Christ himself was crucified by the state and considered a menace to society and was given the death penalty for promoting righteousness. What makes you think your so special as to get away with causing havoc in your backyard and still require "justice" for a couple of "black life's". God bless the people who died innocently from scumbag cops. But to tear and uproot your own community ? Where is the end goal. Is Al Sharpton going to the Supreme Court and making a "stink" about it to get these officers fired? NO. He rather just play the race card and continue to have brainless people follow at will to get "revenge". What a joke. Not to mention, What do the black business owners have to say about their property being destroyed in all this, the hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage? If you ask me, I don't see a logical solution in any of this besides having a "righteous" fellow to finally step up and have these animals tamed. Even a black friend of mine told me a couple months ago when Eric Garner was killed how he felt on the matter. He said that he , " was on his black pride ****" stating he was roaming around the house chanting " I hate white people".Not to mention he was no where near any of the states that have been or currently in protest. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of people out there who feel the same way. I had to leave my original neighborhood 7 years ago and moved to another state for a better life because of the degenerate "influence of the neighborhood" that arrived. Yes, I mean black influence. People used to leave their doors open all the time is what I'm told. Now... People have security cameras rolling 24/7, chicken wire atop of the backyard gates, Alarm systems throughout the apartment building Tell me, is this black problem ever going to come to a head?

Use your words, Articulate, tell me what your thinking and feeling. If you won't let me see you, there is no other way I can possibly know how your feeling? Really your seeing someone else already? How do you expect that to work out if you can't talk through your problems? You think the next relationship will be easier? that you won't eventually have problems that need to be worked through? Why try with anyone else? Why not keep trying to make this work? Do you not love me know more....No why would you, I'm not mentally healthy anymore, I havn't got a good job, I can't afford to move out of parents, I still drive around in a £500 rustbucket, I never brought you that ring, I never took you to the places I said I would, I became weak, I made you strong and then you just left me to pick up the pieces... over 5 years, I once was your everything, now I'm nothing

Dear costumer,
I am sorry that I did not kiss your glorified a**. It's just that I had gotten the news that my brother attempted to kill himself. So excuse me for holding back tears. And for not licking your shoes clean. I'm sorry but the hearts of children is not what I had wanted to be on my tounge. Your inability to accept that I did not smile at you, shows that you cannot bare the fact that someone can in fact be unhappy in your presence. Perhaps instead of assume that the world revolves around you, you should think that perhaps I was having a bad day to begin with. And that you rude 14 year old was not helping. You took my trying to appease her as carelessness. You took the small amount of resolve at trying to keep it together, and crushed it. So customer I hope you will forgive me for not being able to smile, or converse that much. Sorry I did not now to your magnificence. And that manager that you asked to see. Well she's sorry too. She's sorry that she had to deal with you, and she's sorry that I broke down 10 minutes before my shift ended. So costumer I hope that when you have a bad day and have to deal with it...I hope that people will be kind to you. Have a wonderful day, but forgive me if I never want to see you again.

R., the police don't pay attention to your boring, rambling, senseless videos, so don't flatter yourself. Nothing you say is of any interest to the police, or to anyone else, for that matter. Due to your mental health problems, you're unable to either speak or write cohesive, intelligible statements. Your paranoia and delusions of grandeur are getting worse; you're not famous. The cops don't care about some two-bit nitwit such as yourself, who rambles on and on and on without getting to the point, who screams verbal abuse at everyone all the time, who claims to be not of this earth, who's singularly unattractive, whose angry and irrational personality is even more unattractive, who repeats half-sentences 10 to 12 times without completing the sentence, who irrationally and senselessly claims that anyone who criticizes your videos must be a police officer. Your twisted worldview is the product of your mental illness and nothing more; the police aren't interested in you, and they're as bored with your meaningless videos as everyone else. You're not provocative - you're boring.

Hey, "vaccines will give my child autism" people:

Better an autistic child than a dead one.

I just had to cross-post this item I'd written on another site, because this person is so demented and irrational: She's really insane these days. Her mental health has been deteriorating over the past two months or so. All she does is spout deranged claims that literally everyone she knows is a spy who's following her around. She sits outside her apartment complex with her video camera; she seldom looks directly into the camera - instead, she wildly swivels her head from side to side while shouting that everyone is a government spy out to "get" her. At one point, she trained her video camera on an elderly couple in their mid-70s, who happened to walk past her, not paying attention to her; she whispered they were CIA spies stalking her. On her site, she displays random photographs of young Hispanic men, stating they're undercover cops following her around, and that they're child molesters as well. The she goes off on rambling tangents that she's "not of this earth", and that's why all people are out to "get" her. Another weird thing she does: these bizarre vocalizations, in which she'll interrupt what she's saying with crazy noises that sound like "zzzuh-zzzz-zzzzz-zzzuh-zzzzuuuh-zzzzz-zzzzz-zzzzuh-zzzzzz-zzzzzuuuh." Really weird. She repetitively chants, "The police come on my YouTube channel and say..." at least 10 to 12 times without completing the sentence. She didn't used to be this psychologically disturbed; her mental illness has really intensified. You could kind of feel sorry for her, except she constantly yells out verbal abuse to everyone she meets, and slanders them with false allegations of rape, child molestation, and child neglect. She also threatens to kill specific people with whom she's acquainted. She's obviously very sick, and her family needs to address this.

You know that feeling? That feeling when absolutely nothing feels right and your life seems like a big joke laughing you in the face? Yeah look at that @$$hole! Nooo just NOO you feel like you are going to break apart right now... it would be better even to be just numb; but no it doesn't happen. You just lie in you bed looking at those plain white walls and fluttering eyes-"Where the hell am I? Since when am I just a dead piece of walking and talking blob?",you wonder. Wow...things changed a lot. You are dead from inside...those fake smiles around others mean nothing at all. Whatever the situation is you are always dead inside...and one last question- can dead things come back to life?

You know that feeling? That feeling when absolutely nothing feels right and your life seems like a big joke laughing you in the face? Yeah look at that @$$hole! Nooo just NOO you feel like you are going to break apart right now... it would be better even to be just numb; but no it doesn't happen. You just lie in you bed looking at those plain white walls and fluttering eyes-"Where the hell am I? Since when am I just a dead piece of walking and talking blob?",you wonder. Wow...things changed a lot. You are dead from inside...those fake smiles around others mean nothing at all. Whatever the situation is you are always dead inside...and one last question- can dead things come back to life?

You know that feeling? That feeling when absolutely nothing feels right and your life seems like a big joke laughing you in the face? Yeah look at that @$$hole! Nooo just NOO you feel like you are going to break apart right now... it would be better even to be just numb; but no it doesn't happen. You just lie in you bed looking at those plain white walls and fluttering eyes-"Where the hell am I? Since when am I just a dead piece of walking and talking blob?",you wonder. Wow...things changed a lot. You are dead from inside...those fake smiles around others mean nothing at all. Whatever the situation is you are always dead inside...and one last question- can dead things come back to life?

when your trust for a person is on very thin ice as it is and you know they dont trust you either, yet they stop telling you stuff incase you get a bad reaction to it but yet you hear it somewhere else and it just causes more **** and drama then because you dont know if you can trust them at all now or even if theyre worth the pain they cause you, this is basically my relantionship! if i discuss something with others and not him he gets bad and freaks out if i want to meet up with some friends for a coffee and a few chats he gets bad that he wasnt invited and that i should spend time with him, yet when he wants to spend time with his friends its something he has to do its fine....why is that when a woman wants to do something its not okay ? but when a man does it then its fine? please help!!!

don't know how i got here, but what the %$#$ i have know idea what to do. buried my mom 7months ago and just buried my dad 11 days ago. for the last 23 months I've been anchored to ths house taking care of them. Now I don't know what to do, or how I'm supposed to feel. I'm not sure this is real, shouldn't I feel sad or maybe cry or something? just like this I would never do something like this. this is strange it really seems real. I really &%$# up with my mom I don't know if she new how I felt, I was so angry with my sister she was supposed to help, but all I got was excuses. the next mourning she passed, its killing me thinking that she might have thought I was angry with her. why didn't i tell her that i loved her, i was so stupid feeling sorry for my self when i should of been making her last days the best i could. if that wasn't bad enough i didn't do much better with my dad. i don't know how to fix it, this is killing me. i have know idea where this day went its so quiet i can't think. i think I'm going to go, I've been staring at this screen for a couple of hours know I'm not even sure how I got to this. i need to figure out what I'm supposed to to now.

Hello is anybody out there?

ok well meanwhile I think you guys don't take all of this serious enough. you guys have to understand that all your actions have consequences. If you do drugs, you'll probably want to try it again. If you send nudes, he'll probably show his friends or at least tell them about it. If you have sex you might get pregnant. After all, that is the entire purpose of it. People use all of these things when they have bigger problems that they don't want to fix. And I know for a fact that you guys are not these people. I don't know what happened to you guys. Y'all go to Austin and out of nowhere you start talking about all this stuff that you probably didn't even know about before. And if you did, it was probably because they taught us not to do all of this in middle school. Sometimes I get sad because I don't have as many "experiences" as you guys do, but most of the stories that everyone talks about end up with an advice that has been taught to us since we were in middle school. And I just don't get it. Why can't you guys skip that ugly part and go straight into learning the lesson? And now you are talking about sexting? Like honestly I can't even with you two sometimes. You guys talk about things as if you two knew what they really were. If this is what the college experience is suppose to be like then I'm HAPPY I'm not getting in on it. I just want you guys to be happy and I know this is not the path to happiness

I wanted to rant anonymously and found this site and noticed that all rants have all of 0 views. So I concluded there is no better place to rant anonymously but wondered how the developers felt about the general interest garnered by the site and concluded that ranting is undoubtedly not an spectator's sport. In any case, here it goes. It seems obvious that falling in love is the only one thing that can keeps us oblivious enough about the horribly transient nature of lives so we all somehow want to do it. Now that I've grown a bit older I realize that I've may have been in love once. The feeling made me so content and avid for every moment I spent with the object of my affection that every other aspect in my life seemed like a comical and accidental set of circumstances that randomly materialized around me in the spirit of lighthearted entertainment. One day my beloved left me. I didn't know why as the only thing that was certain back then was the infinitely reassuring warmth of her skin, the rhythm of her breadth as she slept, the tremendous beauty of her smile that lingered in the twilight, in the images that formed after light gave into darkness. That was the only thing that was true. Everything else was relative, imperfect, in flux, and mostly inconsequential. So it was that my heart was broken. Violently at first, and then more quietly. I went from living to surviving. From playing a fantastically joyous game of creation to becoming a character on someone else's play. Lost was the certainty that our beings are eternal for their availability to mock time through timeless bonds to counting down days and years marked by predictably banal events. Of course I have been trying to deny that any of it means a thing to me now that I am passed the age of folly. A decade later maturity and experience thought me that having lost myself in a teenage love was the product of an character not yet rooted by time. The alternative is more strenuous: That I lost the love of my life - That she did not love me back. Of course today she would would be unrecognizable to me. At least that is what I tell myself as I consider marrying a woman that I don't seem love but seems to love me. Why not entertain her dream if mine was not to be? But perhaps my true love is a face out there, someone I have not yet met. And it it very possible I will never gibve myself a chance to find out. That is a bit sad. That is why I am ranting.

So I like this guy and he recently told me he liked me too. We've been friends for a while now, and he used to text me and skype me all the time but now it's like he's always in playing CS:GO with his friends. I don't want to be that girl, the overly clingy "Why don't you pay attention to me all the time" girl, but I feel like he's taking me for granted. I'm usually the one to initiate conversation and I'm always the one to ask if he wants to play a game on steam with me. He rarely asks anymore. I hate how this sounds, but god, I feel like he thinks "oh, I don't have to worry about it all I have to do is send her a message and she'll come running."
It makes me upset because he's a really great guy and I want to tell him everything and have one of those really nice relationships with him, but I feel like he doesn't care that much. It's just frustrating because I feel like he's playing with my emotions. I'm mad at him, but I know as soon as I see him I'll forget all about it.
I'm not going to message him until he messages me. I'm sick of this ****, if he really does like me like he says he does he'll put some more effort into this.

I live in an all white community now and i have realized something: white people are ugly.

sorry, but it's the truth.

the fact of the matter is that all the bullshit they try and say about african americans and other peoples is bullshit.

They say, "Black people have big noses." Guess what? I see big *** bell pepper noses on white men EVERY DAY. WAY bigger than my own an I am mixed.

I see their white skin. I don't think it's as pretty as mine, in all honesty. Mine looks supple. My brown skin looks healthier. My brown skin looks like caramel -not nasty, unhealthy, cancer-prone unhealthiness.

My body is naturally shapely: my curves look good. Everyone who sees me in a bathing suit says this. I realize this is not the case for white women. White women don't have booties unless they work hard for it. White womens bodies are neither here nor there, from my experience.

Long story short: I have no clue why I bought into all this BS about "the issue of Black people" or "race" like I used to. Really, Black people are talked badly about everyday in this racist country but really, when I really look at the facts, we haven't merited poor treatment. I haven't done anything to anyone and nor have any of my African American friends or family members, and thus, all the BS people say about us is just that: BS. And it's really unfortunate that so many people buy into what they see/read/hear.

One day, people will read in history books about how the people in the 1900s and 2000s were so racist an unfair. To the list of despicable acts will be the genocide of the children of the slaves. This country is unjust.

One day, all of this will come to light.

So, I like this guy and he really likes me too. We've been talking for a while, but all of a sudden he's pushing me away. I'm so upset about it because it feels like I'm doing everything wrong. I don't know what to do and when I text him all he replies now is "okay" "yeah" "ooh" or "just leave me alone" it's killing me because I feel like he's so pissed at me when I didn't do anything. Why why why!? I've been giving him space and all the space he needs and he's still acting this way. I even tried to see if anything was wrong or going on with him but he kept on and on with pushing me away.. He makes me so happy and I've told him & he just **** I don't know what to do anymore with him..

Kinda sad this is all i can think of to do, but i'm doing it so whatever. I've been supporting the weight of my brother's and his girlfriends relationship problems from both sides for the last 4 months, because she's one of my best friends. I now understand why my depression has been building. For the last 4 months, it's been getting worse and worse, i hadn't even remembered what it felt like to be myself, and truly happy, till today. And the only reason i was happy, was because i had been invited out by friend's to dunkin, and hadn't talked to my brother's girlfriend about her relationship problems all day. I was smiling, and felt light inside in a way i haven't in a long time. Then, tonight, she called to vent again and i shut down. It's like the happiness got shoved away out of me again, leaving me a numb mess. I don't know how to tell her i can't handle her problems though, she has depression and anxiety, and i know she'll have a breakdown over it, but it needs to be done. I can't sacrifice myself when other people can be there for her to. I know i can't do this without hurting her but damn it all, i miss being happy. Is it selfish of me to want to be happy again? Even if it's at th expense of her's for a little while? I don't know, but i'm so very tired. I miss the real me, she's gone somewhere where i don't know how to pull her back

I want to be with you. I want to feel your body against mine and taste your lips. I want to run my fingers through your dark brown, curly hair. I want to look into your eyes and feel safe; feel loved; feel wanted. I crave the feeling of my hand in yours. I long to hear your soothing voice and feel your presence. I want to fall asleep to the sound of your heart beat and the warmth of your body. I want to be with you. That's all I really want.

I'm actually so happy right now. :,) I've liked this one guy for a while now and we've been talking. He knows I like him and I was unsure as to whether or not he liked me back.... until now. He asked me out. He wants to go out for coffee on Memorial Day and then just walk around downtown. I have never been so happy in my life. :,)

I am still pissed that you tanked my credit! Seriously...a library debt?! I can't even take a ******* book out because you fucked up BOTH of our cards so incredibly bad that neither of us can afford to pay this off! You bet I'm sponging every last cent i can get from your ***. You owe me, mother ******!!

It's the saddest thing that I used to say "I love trees so much" and they would say "so do I! What makes you say that?" And we would have a stupid conversation about literally anything and they would say how much they loved that I said whatever was on my mind. But now I say "colours are so amazing" and they now say "ok. Do you need testing haha" like it's hilarious that I just got my positive thoughts stomped on and now feel guilty and embarrassed for something that used to make me feel loved and special

Okay, listen up online magazine I still kind of work for. You want decent work? You pay your writers, okay? Especially if you're expecting them to post 2-4 times a day. Telling them that they're only going to get paid $3 every thousand views when you don't even have anyone viewing the site in the first place? That's kind of ******. No wonder you're constantly hunting for new writers. No one sticks around longer than a month. Also, don't demand that someone meet a deadline only to refuse to look over or even publish the piece for days after the piece has been submitted (and, might I add, was supposed to be published the next day after submission). Oh, and don't tell me you were "busy". I was pretty busy too when I wrote the piece but I still had it in for you well before the deadline. You're just lazy. Plus, hugely condescending. Stop talking to your readers and writers like they're idiots.

If you don't pay your writers, of course you're going to have crap come back to you. Go write it yourself if you can't even afford to have someone work for you. Paying "by the view" is just another word for "it's for exposure".

I need out. So badly. I'm so tired of trying to live up to other's expectations and failing. I'm at the crossroad anyway: where to go to college. I want to tell everyone to **** their own expectations and just go be myself for a few years. Is that so wrong?

You told me to do the laundry, so I started the laundry. You woke up ask if I started laundry, I said yes. You got mad, because I didn't go get your dirty clothes from the bathroom. The **** is wrong with you? You are a grown *** man, stop leaving your clothes in the bathroom, and your damn shoes in the hallway. I am not your mother.

M****** H****** loves to be miserable. She became friends with her ex-boyfriends ex-wife and talked **** about him and his sister almost daily. Now, she wants to be back in their lives? What a hypocrite! And stop with the naked pictures already.

I woke up sick to my stomach and I've got a bit of a fever. Disabled mother-in-law insists on blaring country music from the living room. You ask her to turn it down? She practically throws a temper tantrum. You try to wear ear plugs or listen to headphones? That ****** Brad Paisley crap somehow still manages to permeate. Never mind we have her, my partner, and a roommate along with me. She has to play this stuff first thing in the morning before everyone's up.

How do you consider us best friends? You never want to do anything together and when you do finally show up after missing for months you just sit around my ******* house, talking about nothing and doing nothing. Not contributing. You never show up when I needed you. In fact you never show up at all. You took a year trip to florida where you could smoke weed and drink beer with hillbilly **** strangers but can never party with me AND WE'VE NEVER DO! So, why are we friends if you just want to have meaningful experiences only with strangers? Now you come back home and you haven't been here 4 months back and you are now in a relationship with a dude the same age as your ******* father? Like how god damn stupid are you? You just got out of a 5 year relaitonsihp with a ******* drugged up alcoholic loser who you wouldn't ******* listen to me about and now you wanna **** some old dude and once more kick me to the curb for another ****? Really? After we just started to mind things after you left me to go on some 6 year stupidity trip? After you canceled our life plans together? I wish I could just delete your *** from my ******* life. You are a piece of ******* work. Go **** yourself ****.

I have no idea what I want to do and I'm putting so much pressure on myself. I feel like I need to have it figured out right now. My friend told me he didn't feel ready for college until 3 years after he graduated high school. I'm 19, I graduated high school in 2014. I don't feel like I'll ever be ready for college. I spent months looking at degree options and never found anything. I'd be content working at hotels or grocery stores forever if I knew I could get by with it. I think I might have an idea of what I want to do. But I'm not sure. I'm afraid it won't work out or that I won't like it. I need a backup. I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified.

So married for going on 24 years and I've been pretending to be very happy in our marriage for last 10 years or so. All of our kids are practically grown,so why am I still here? We were married young and grew up together and now it seems that I have grown away from him. If I try to talk to him about it,like in the past,its either p.m.s or just stressed out and he does no wrong. I feel like a married single parent. He goes to work an hour a day then plays on his comp or whatever he fels like doing. I work 40 hours take care of the remaining kids(ie,school,laundry,food,clean the house...you name it i do it)and also take care of family members that are toddlers 5 days a week. Also dealing with sick dad and all those needs of his. This is a rant but I intend to do something about my situation!!!! I WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i can't get over my ex boyfriend even though its been like 8 months and even though i feel pathetic i just don't seem to be able to recover any more than i have. also i have clinical depression/anxiety and even though i'm on meds the last few days i've been backsliding and my friends refuse to talk about anything to do with my mental illness or my issues with my ex so i'm just sort of stewing in my own juices and its really frustrating because genuinely none of them care enough to let me talk about anything i really need to talk about with them. and yes i could go to therapy if it a) wasn't so ******* expensive b) uncomfortable and c) if i hadn't already been and feel that being listened to and cared about by people i actually love would be the most therapeutic thing for me. basically i want to break down and cry for a million years, nobody cares and i feel ******* alone.

I don't deserve this. I only ever try to bring out the best in people. I'd never say anything to offend someone. please stop telling me im annoying. you're supposed to be my best friends but telling me to 'do everyone a favour and shut the **** up' really isn't helping with my self esteem right now. even if you say you're just making fun of me as a joke. it's not like it's even once. it's. every. single. thing. I. say. I'm already ******* suicidal you know that, you ******* know that so at least even stop ******* mocking me for being upset when know what you said has hurt me.

I know I give you a hard time, but it's the only way I can think of to keep things going. Even then, my demands don't work. One day you apologize to me a million times about how you e-publicly disrespect me and saying it's because you miss me, yet the next day I don't see a single change in your ways. There's not even a honeymoon phase with you - you just go back to your old, selfish ways. I honestly think you are mentally incapable of seeing and attending to my needs and wants. And it's unfair, because I've been raised to think about other people's before my own. Including yours. It's so one-sided, and it kills me to the core.

I messaged my best friend about the situation, as seen below.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

Jade joined the chat
Jade: (Trigger Warning for self harm) God d@mmit now I feel like vomiting. My friend I've been talking to for a long while self harms, I've known for a long while. We were calling last night and just hanging out and somehow the conversation turned to cutting, and where, and what the other used, it was it good spirits I supposed, but they wanted to know how I got my blades from what I use. (Pencil sharpener) And we had a very long conversation, I was avoiding the question because I didn't want them using it
Jade: But after a long while I had them promise not to cut with any pencil sharpener blades if I showed them how to take them out. In their words; they were "intrigued"
Jade: So I did, They promised not to, and he send me a message saying: " And the pencil sharpener works great, it's so sharp"
Jade: Like what the hell..
Jade: I feel so bad..
Jade: I love this person
Jade: They promised not to
Jade: They promised me, I heard them say it out-loud, they god d@mned promised me and then they say that.
Jade: I feel sick. I feel lied to even though it wasn't a big thing, this isn't different from Robin lieing he self harmed.
Jade: And they look like Robin. They wear clothes like Robin. They remind me of him and I hate it because I hate Robin.

"Robin" is a boy next door who lied to me and hurt me physically and mentally.

My questions to whoever is reading:

How do I reply to my boyfriend/friend's message? We have a rule that if one of us self harms the other will, too. I feel so terrible, like I caused him to make scars.. I caused him to bleed and hurt, I want to cry so much.

Is it my fault or his? I feel like I caused this by showing him how to take the blades out.

she'll never come back to the site now. everyone is ******* taking her ranks. i talked to her over the weekend, i've been the only one she has been talking to. and everyone just shrugs, even though they know they caused her to feel like ****. what the **** is their problems? don't they care that she is on the edge, about to cut herself? and two challenges in one day, against her favorite character. what the **** is their problem? she just lost her pack to some asshats, and now she is going to loose her two high ranks with one character because people decided things needed to 'move forward'. **** hasn't been active in MONTHS. they haven't done ****. why not move forward by trying to show that maybe you've earned it, instead of deciding to just take ******* everything

**** YOU. How can you ******* say I have nothing else going on in my life ? you ******* know my grandmother has cancer and that I'm always working ! YOU COMPLAIN THAT WE ARGUE WAY TOO MUCH AND THAT OUR CONVERSATIONS NEVER MEET SOLUTIONS , BUT DO YOU ******* KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU ******* SAYING "I DONT KNOW" TO EVERY QUESTION I HAVE FOR YOU,YOU ARE THE PROBLEM NOT ME!
I can only try so ******* much as of right now, you CAN GO TO ******* HELL AND I WILL NEVER GIVE A ******* OUNCE OF MY TIME OR ENGERY TO TRY AND FIX **** ANYMORE.

YOU are ******* able to fall asleep despite all of these issues we have that are never ever solved , and the pain that i have and frustration Im stuck with inhibits me to sleep! SO **** YOU FOR GETTING A GOOD NIGHTS REST AND that IM STUCK here on afucking ranting website just so i can get **** off my chest!

I'm starting to realize this isn't just a few girls, it seems to be most girls that actually have a hard time understanding that it's intimidating for guys to always be the ones responsible for making the first move.

Combine that with a society where social cues (flirting) mean effectively nothing because so many people pretend to flirt, joke-flirt, don't flirt then pretend they were flirting or some ******* obnoxious combination of these and suddenly nobody has any ******* idea what anyone else feels anymore. It feels like I have to sign a goddamn contract with a girl just to establish that we're mutually interested in eachother.

Nothing feels natural anymore. I blame this largely on a society so blindly hellbent on removing instinctive assumptions about what certain looks, eye contact, phrases, body language, dress etc. from social interaction in the name of equality. What we're left with is a complete inability to reliably gauge what flirting is and when someone is interested in you. It's hard enough for me to muster the courage to talk to a girl I'm attracted to in the first place, let alone express my interest in her without having to worry about whether or not what seemed like obvious flirting/romantic interest was really her just trying to be nice. I've always (through high school to current/24yo me) been garbage at meeting girls, keeping them interested in me, talking to them etc. but I'm not a complete social ******* invalid. There are things girls do that seem to me like obvious flirting, and so often they're shocked that I thought they might be interested in me. For the longest time I always felt really bad, like I had been presumptuous or arrogant or self centered, but really I'm starting to think I'm not actually doing anything wrong and instead our society is trying so ******* hard to be 'progressive' that it's leaving behind truth, feeling, honesty for the sake of trying to make everyone feel great about themselves. The result is I feel like absolute **** most of the time in most situations because on the extremely rare occasion I think a girl I've been thinking about talking to might be interested, I'm way off the ******* mark. Most girls make it clear they're not interested - they don't look at me, they don't give any indication that they want to have a conversation, they do any number of things to cue that they're in a relationship or not interested in anything beyond doing whatever it was they were doing before I entered the picture - and as much as it makes me sad and feel less confident about myself, I absolutely prefer that over a false sense of hope only to make someone else feel uncomfortable when I confront them with my feelings followed by me questioning my very sanity for ever thinking they were interested in the first place.

And I talked with one girl that I thought was interested in me but turned out not to be (we were mature about it and the conversation went fairly smoothly despite it not working out how I had hoped, so whatever, we kept talking a little) about whether or not guys liked it when girls made the first move. I explained that I thought a lot of guys would love this - that it's intimidating to always be the guy who has to ask the girl on a date/initiate a romantic conversation. She was very surprised by this. It was a shocker to her that any guy might be apprehensive about making a first move. She wouldn't consider making the first move herself because - get this - she might get rejected and be ashamed. Imagine that - getting rejected. Gee, I had never thought about it like that. Feeling ashamed that someone you were attracted to you really wish liked you wanted nothing to do with you after putting yourself on the line emotionally might be the result of asking someone out? Huh. I guess I should have thought about that before suggesting that it would be appreciated if women ever did this. Real ******* shocker, because all the times I've been shot down I've never felt ashamed ever - I've always been totally fine with it.

Come the **** on. Do girls really REALLY believe guys aren't nervous about talking to them? Do they honestly think we have no trouble admitting to a girl she's the one they want to be with? When they themselves have this fear when confronted with the question of 'why don't you ever make the first move?'

I never actually believed girls were REALLY this goddamn oblivious until tonight. It clicked - lots girls are actually ******* idiots when it comes to this sort of thing. I get it - established social norms dictate men usually make the first move - fine - but for **** sake - how can it be surprising to girls that this intimidates us? How? How can you be well functioning enough to make it across the street while simultaneously lacking the fundamental reasoning capacity to understand that men could ever possibly be intimidated with the responsibility of starting a conversation with you? It literally makes no ******* sense - it's legitimately one of the biggest mysteries to me about the human condition.

All this progressive horseshit about how awful men are and how men oppress the **** out of women, and nobody seems to give a **** that we're totally OK with expecting men to make the first move and any guy who wants the girl to make the first move is some kind of *****? All that abusive man-treats-women-like-property garbage we (rightly) object to comes from the exact same mentality and backwards thinking that the 'man-is-expected-to-make-the-first-move expectation comes from.

Not to mention this **** culture we're all living where men are viewed by default as potential threats - rapists, assholes, abusers, cheaters, liars, scumbags, whatever. We can't win. We seriously can't. If we're too forward with a girl, we're just trying to get laid/pressure her into something. If we're not forward enough, girls get pissed that we're not being forward enough, ignore us altogether, or we're pussies for not being manly enough. Our culture is ****. Shithead scumbag ******* fuckwits who treat women like trash and abuse them and manipulate them are the reason it became ****, and people not being socially adept enough to recognize that not all men are these shitheads keep our culture smelling like ****.

The result is a society that wants sugar and bitches when they get something sweet. Yes - society is legitimately this goddamn backwards.

Here's a thought don't ask me to be your girlfriend if you were just gonna end up ******* someone else. Sorry when I tell you I love you I ******* mean it, maybe it's not the same to you clearly. And no sorry I do not wanna be friends I have given you so many second chances. I can't believe I though you had changed. I deserve better than that.

Hi, so about 2 weeks ago I hmstarted like talking/dating this guy but I knew him the whole school year.... But anyways we were going out and everytime we had a convo I always started them. ( 1 hint I was being played) Next, We were in class he was talking to another girl like dude do you not see in here... Mind you he can tell when I'm mad or not and people he really know me, can tell I was FURIOUS (2 hint I was being played) So I got him we ended up having a conversation and he was like he wasn't flirting with her but I knew he was, so I gave him another chance (3 hint I was being played ) After all that my best friend talked to him he was like he's not that type of guy and he honestly doesn't seem the type of guy that will play you but (I saved him from getting the worst *** beating when I told my brother

Everyone else is busy talking to their crushes or whatever and I’m here like what the **** why cant I do that? Huh? I mean if ethan groves can do it why cant I? Cause I cant fricken talk to girls? Like actually what the hell is wrong with me? Sometimes? Im a good person sometimes. Anyway I’ll just come home sometimes and just shut everything off, put it away into a back region (reaches?) of my brain and my stomach will get the tingly crush feeling thingy and I’ll just watch the world go by…. And I’ll just sit here and wonder what am I doing with my life? Sure I get good grades and I’m kinda athletic but I can’t… TALK! Y’know like actually was I born with a birth defect that causes my mouth to become paralyzed every time I see someone remotely attractive? (quick google search debunks that) I mean I’ll be finishing middle school in 3 days and I haven’t even had a real girlfriend (McCall don’t count, sorry) or told one of my crushes I like them. I mean ive liked her for a couple years and haven’t ******* done anything. Wat. Srsly bruv. Now I’m stuck listening to songs like Hey There Delilah and She Will be Loved to remind me of my crippling defect. Stupid af. I’ll play OOTP like a nerd and wallow over my life and never will have kissed a girl by the time I die? Is this what I want? I better get out there and ******* do something or else I’ll live a fricken sorrow filled like and I don’t want that. So why do I torture myself like this? Idek. As put so beautifully by Radiohead, ‘What the hell am I doing here? What am I doing doing this to myself? *Sighs* I should do it but I know I’m too much of a wuss and I’ll chicken out at the last second, and that tingly belly feeling will always have that sad edge, that haunting of ‘you’ll never get her and I’m here to remind you you lousy sonofabitch’. Why does the world hate me like this? Why can I watch some lowlife douchebag pick up the girl that I should have if I didn’t go full retard in front of girls? Why does the world make me wallow over these things that should happen if only I had some ****** courage? Everytime I see someone I like I just scurry away like a mouse back into my hole where I’ll live my days in solace until I confess to someone and inevitably get rejected because I’m me, and I don’t think anyone is actually attracted to me (Divya says I’m hella cute but idk how much I should believe her). I have no way of getting anyone except some ill-fated hookup in college (hopefully GT, but the chances of that are low). I know I act so macho but seriously it’s just an act. My introverted self will never in a million years be able to stand face to face to a girl and just tell her my feelings. And this leaves me here to wallow in my own scummy heartache and just wish that I had a slick quality, a little reckless quality and the quality of being somewhat attractive. I’ll just sit here with my music, my cope, my push to get me through the worst and wish my worries away, right? HAH, what a lie. Wishing doesn’t get you jack **** unless it actually gets somewhere, but this is not Aladdin so that won’t happen. Honestly I’ll probably come to accept that I’m a loner for life, another member of the forever alone club. Unless I can approach her, the beautiful girl who will bring these pitiful feelings and rants to an end. Unless I can get an inkling of confidence (not likely) I’ll just be sitting here at my computer for the rest of my life, crying my sorrows away and putting up that façade of everything is cool. I’ll just be another loner. Sure, you can say that I have friends but they’re all ******* guys (not guys *******, but ******* guys, not gay…)(******* is used as an adjective). I have some semi-friends that are girls but nobody that I can confide in, unless I wanna confide in Divya, which’ll only work if I convince her to give me Greta’s number which is just the *****’s way of doing it… but that’s me and what else do you expect? A man can only dream, and that’s what I’ll do, dream and hope and pray that I’ll never come back to this ******* folder because that means nothing’s better. Good night and I hope your life is better than mine. If not, I feel you bro.

My "dad" is an *******. That greedy jerk only cared about himself and neglected me my entire life. He blames me for our bad relationship but he will never understand that I am not his daughter nor is he my father. He has to earn that term. He will always be a sperm donor and nothing more. I hope he rots for the rest of his life and let's hell burn him for an eternity. Sick man. I hope he remains unhappy for his entire life considering I will never speak to him again. FORGET HIM and his damn girlfriend.

Why does everything have to be like this? I'm breaking. NO I'm tearing myself inside out and nobody seems to notice and if they do they might not even care. I hate how people's words affect me so much because I truly care for them and respect them but at the end it means nothing. Lol it wouldn't be the first time someone does that to me but it always hurts the same or even worst. Today I began cutting again you know. It didn't hurt though so i put alcohol over the wound and i felt the sting but that's all I felt.

Why does love have to be such a game? Or maybe that's not love. Maybe that's why it feels so wrong, but that's why I want it even more. Does that make sense?

Well, he fucked me over. He fucked me and then pretended like nothing happened. And we work together. Actually I manage him - makes it so infuriating. Now of course I want to take revenge and fire him but that won't cure the insufferable pain I feel from him taking advantage of me. I was actually ready to open up to him and instead he just wanted sex.

Why do teachers think that they can pile everything on you at the very end of the year? Like **** you, I'm done thinking for the year and now you're giving me a 200 point paper? And why the **** do you think I'm going to be able to finish all of your ****** work when every single one of you is doing the same thing? I'm just ready for it to be summer already. Get off my ******* back and leave me alone.

I ******* hate you. Your such a horrible pig I can't wait for you to leave my life.

I have been cheated on and just as I thought I found someone healing me from the scar, he got himself a girlfriend. :') I absolutely love my life.

i hope you're happy with her . thanks for making me fall in love with you for all your action and leaving me hanging here in the middle of no where with no one.

girls get friendzoned too ..

no wonder you deleted me off facebook...........

uggggggggg i feel so unloved

finally thought i was going well with this guy but just found out he got himself a girlfriend..

I hate my racist family and the way the meddle with my life.

Finally found someone I like and likes me back but he lives over 200 miles away..

Just let it out. Everything will fall into place without you realizing it :)

Sometimes, I just feel like a horrible person

I can't help but feel worried. I don't know if I just mad my bestfriend angry or not. I hope she's not mad at me. Man, good job self. You just screwed up big time.

Why do humans (not all of course, but a huge amount) think they should be exempt from natural selection?
People want to feed all the hungry kids, provide aid to poverty stricken countries, make everyone healthy etc.
If we, as a planet, carry on like this with a constant exponential growth rate and ignore the fact that we probably reached the carrying capacity for our species years and years ago then we are going to have nothing left.
Why are we any different to any other species that has ever lived?
Why should we defy the basic laws of nature?
Of course I think it is sad that there are children dying all over the world and people are dying from disease everyday....but these smell this game are happening in every other species and it is a natural part of life.

so a couple a weeks ago my parents helped me get my truck taken care of i got new brake and took care of other things to get it up and running againg because i needed it to get to school and back. i never drove it far because i new it was old and wouldnt make a long trip. so we spent about 1000 dollars getting fixed and a few days ago i found out the my brother took it 200 miles away to some stupid shop that supposidly sells stuff to clean your system out. aperentely he had a drug test coming up and was super high. well this little trip killed my damn truck and now it needs a $1600 dollar fix cause it need anew tranimison. and my dad and mom are making me pay half for it because my stupid brother lied to them and said he only used it to go to an interview for work. why the hell do i have to pay for it when i'm not the one that destroyed it. i let my brother use it when he wants i switched my college classes around so that it would fit his schedual better and now i have to pay for his mistakes. BUT I JUST SPENT OVER 4000 dollars helping my family out of with there fricking bills. i don't have any money left and that 4000 was supposed to help me with my college and on top of the my bank account is overdrawn again because i have to keep helping them and i even gave my brother a ps4 becuase i wasnt using it anymore when i could have sold it to help give me some money. i guess i dont have to help but what kinda of a person would i be if i didn't help the people who raised me. After all my dad just lost his job so they definatly dont have money to help fix the truck. the only person who has enough to fix it is my brother but of course he only has to pay a third because my parents are so happy that he finally told the truth about where he took it. honestly though it feels good to get this off my chest i cant tell my parents how i feel they mean the world to me and always helped me when they shouldn't and my brother is not actually a bad guy. i just wont let him use my car anymore without me in the car with him that's his punishment. If someone actually read this this is me just ranting and feeling better about my situation my family is great but sometimes they really piss me off so don't think to badly about them please

IM SO STRESSED UGH

First, I'm getting a letter home from one of my teachers because I'd finished the work and I wasn't doing it anymore and he wouldn't let me explain.
Second, I have 5 tests this week.
Third, I had a maths test yesterday, which they gave out the marks for this morning. I failed my first test ever.
Fourth, my teacher (who I have all day on a Tuesday) got angry at me because when she was checking the roll and she didn't hear me say 'here'
Fifth, I'm in a generally bad mood.
Sixth, my mum got really mad because I made her an hour late for work because she had to drop me off.
Seventh, I forgot my tights for photos and I phoned my dad and he got really angry because I forget things a lot.
Eighth, I forgot to get the payment for my school photos
Ninth, people have been generally annoying today.
Tenth, I have to walk home in tights and a blazer
Eleventh, I have to get money off my angry parents to pay for the tights I had to buy at student services this morning which it turns out you can't see in the photo.
Twelth, I have to get money off my parents for a free dress day on Friday.
Thirteenth, I my voice teacher wasn't at the school today so my Tuesday stress relief was out the window.


If you read the whole thing, kudos.

SAO LOU VANG'S DAUGHTER'S SPEECH TO THE COURT, MAY 5, 2015

My name is Shoua Vang. I am the daughter Sao Lue Vang and I am speaking on behalf of our family today. Many other family members are here with me as well. 
On Wednesday, November 5, 2014 at around 5pm, I received a call from my sister who said that dad was in the hospital. She said that dad had got beaten up really bad and was taken to a hospital in a town far away. At first I thought myself, “That can’t be. It must be a mistake because my dad is so tiny, he’s 64 years old, and he wouldn’t hurt anyone. Who would want to beat up an old man?”

So my family scrambled to find out which hospital and we learned that dad was in the emergency room at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Wabasha, MN, two hours away from our home in St. Paul. Since we didn’t have time to find a babysitter, my husband and I packed our three kids into the car and drove straight to St. Elizabeth. That night we arrived at the hospital around 7:30pm. When we made it to my dad’s room, this is what we saw. (show dad’s picture)

My heart sank? I was horrified that this could happen to anyone, especially an elderly like my dad. The doctor said that the person who did this to my dad caused some lacerations to his hand and gave him a Grade-4 liver laceration which is a serious and life threatening injury. The doctor also said that they needed to monitor him closely for any more internal complications. My siblings and I were scared for his life. We were angry and sad that his happened. All we could really do that day was just wait and pray. It was one of the longest days of my life.

From that day on, my sisters Mai, Bo, and I have been the main contacts and advocates for our family in this matter. Whether it was talking to the Sheriff deputies, calling the District Attorney’s office, calling the hospitals for records, informing other family members, attending court hearings, driving between MN and WI, or working with our attorney, this past six months have been difficult and draining for entire family.

I’ve personally have had to put my family’s life on hold because of this incident involving Mr. Elberg and my dad. I’ve driven thousands of miles between my home in St. Paul, Menomenie, and to this court house. My second child who just enrolled in Pre-K last fall has had to miss many days of school due to the fact that I’ve had to pull her out to tend to these matters.

Your honor, on behalf of the Vang family and my dad, Mr. Sao Lue Vang, words cannot express how disappointed and angry we are in the handing of the case from the very beginning until now.

I have documented just about every phone call, email, conversation, and exchange with the parties who have been charged with investigating, prosecuting, and handling this case. My family and I have been deeply disappointed at how this has been handled.

For example, after learning about the life-threatening injuries that this man did to my father and reading the probable cause statements from the Sheriff’s office, we were furious that the person who committed this crime was still roaming free and had not been arrested and charged. My family and I had to go to the Sheriff’s office and begged him to arrest Mr. Elberg because our family did not feel safe.

After repeated phone calls to Mr. Seifert’s office and his staff, we were still left in the dark as to why he did not announce any charges yet. We had made repeated efforts to contact and work with the DA’s office but we were given the run around and often times, our calls were not returned.

For example, on November 10th, the Victim and Witness Advocate, Natalie Theismann Natalie called to let the family know that Elberg will be released soon within an hour and that there will be no bond at the request of the DA. When we asked why she said that “he did not intentionally harm my dad.”
In the meeting on November 11th, Mr. Seifert told us he knew the defendant, Mr. Elberg and his famil. He felt the need to add that he did not know my father and just met my father that day.

During the November 11th meeting, Ms. Theismann made the same comment she made the day before about how Mr. Elberg did not intentionally harm my dad.

In the police report the from a deputy from Outagamie County wrote, on page 4, it stated that “The DA heard about this incident at a deer camp and said that he knew the suspect and his family and does not believe that the suspect did was was alleged.”

January 8th meeting, per my sister Bo Vang, The DA’s staff, Ms. Natalie Theismann made a comment to the family “Don’t think that we have some sort of secret agenda.”

As recent as March 31, our family had taken time off work to attend a status conference here where thought we would get an update about this case. At the very last minute, the hearing was cancelled. We came to meet with the DA anyhow because we had already taken time off work. Our attorney told us that the DA wanted to discuss some possible options with us and where to go from here. When we arrived, we learned that the DA was not interested in talking to us but only to my dad through an interpreter. Most of our family was instructed to wait in a separate room.

In this private meeting, we learned that the DA had already made up his mind about a plea bargain without consulting my dad. He did not even show the rest of us the courtesy of explaining the new charges that he introduced that day. It was the first time anyone in our family had heard about these new charges. After the DA introduced these charges, our family met in a private room here at the court house and sifted through the resolutions that he agreed to, while he and his staff went to lunch. After he returned from lunch, while our family was still meeting and trying to understand these new charges, the DA decided to wait in the hall way while when we still had unanswered questions. We felt that his actions were disrespectful and unprofessional when we drove several hours just to meet with him.

Your honor, over the past six months, our family and in particular, my dad have not felt like we were treated with fairness, dignity, and respect as stated in Chapter 950 of Wisconsin Statutes regarding the Rights of Victims of Crimes. We feel that we were not given proper access to the DA’s office to discuss our rights in this matter. From the beginning, we felt that this case should have been moved to another county and we still feel that today.

We certainly do not feel that we have been treated with respect and fairness by the DA. We do not trust him and want to state for the record that we are deeply saddened, disappointed, and angry at how this case has been handled by his office and his staff, who are public servants of this County.

In the past month, through our attorney we made it very clear to the DA that our dad and our family wanted a trial. Regardless of the outcome, at least our family will feel that we have a better chance of receiving justice if this case goes to a jury and a judge. We do not trust a decision made behind closed doors between a few people. We feel the State of Wisconsin and the public deserves to know what happened to our dad that day.

We also want to express our anguish and disgust with the resolution proposed by the DA today. Over the past 5 months, the DA has done very little to prove to us that we can trust him and his decision today only confirms this sentiment. He’s also made it very clear to my dad a few weeks ago that has one of his primary concern is to the citizens of his jurisdiction.

To the District Attorney of Pepin County, Mr. Seifert--Let us also remind you that you are also entrusted with the responsibility of protecting the public. We want to ask you this: If a 64-year old senior citizen and decorated war veteran, can’t even go hunting on a sunny winter day, in your county, without getting beaten up in broad daylight, suffocated, dragged across a corn field, and hospitalized for life threatening injuries, then are you doing your job to protect the public?

Moreover, if this same old man and his family fear for their lives because the perpetrator of this crime is allowed to roam free without any serious consequences, then we feel YOU have failed to protect the public. If our dad, an elderly senior citizen, can end up like this (hold picture of dad in the hospital bed), then I don’t know who is safe in Pepin County. Even though the DA made his decision today, our family and my dad do not accept this decision. In fact, we want to share with the court that we reject this decision. We do not feel that it is a just decision and that justice was served today.

Also, this event has had a profound impact on our family and we do not feel safe in this county and in this state. All my dad wanted to do was to enjoy the outdoors. To the people of Pepin County, Sao Lue Vang may have been our dad, but if this could happen to him in broad daylight in your county, it could happen to anyone. He could have easily been your dad, uncle, or grandpa.




the **** won't work, I've been trying for the last 10 ******* hours, and what the **** do i get. nothing, zero results, i get jack ****. Hard work and dedication my ***. well **** you costumer service

So for the past week I have been studying for an upcoming exam which is worth 20% of my grade, and my mom keeps ******* bugging me to go exercise even though I told her that I didn't have the time. Instead of being an understanding parent she ******* got pissed at me, and my ******* son of a bitch of a brother is sucking up to her fat *** and is saying that I'm the one who should understand her erratic, menopausal rage that flares up every few days. I hate my ******* brother, and I don't believe why I even bothered to help him when my mom yelled at him. My family has been one that believed in superiority of men and ever since my brother was born, he had been treated like the prince of England. Me, on the other hand, has always been told by my parents, ever since I was little, of how much they regretted bringing me to life, for I was just a girl and it's not worth it to bring me all the way to North America. Honestly, it hurts me that they would say something like that to my face. Every time I get into an argument with my parents, they would blame each other for my existence, since they were originally planning to have an abortion. I have been depressed for about four years now, and cutting myself seemed to be the only way for me to release stress. I have dreamed about jumping off a building and has even tried to kill myself by overdosing with tylenol. There has even been a point in life when I begged God to kill me, for I was so desperate to be rid of life, and that I would gladly donate my organs to those in need. I am sorry for my angry rants, but sometimes I really wish I am dead.

People who have to attack you personally and know nothing else especially those who tell everybody over 50 that they're 90. I curse the hell out of them and make sure I've trashed them much more than they trashed me. It's very important to vent by cursing the hell out of trolls. Never show them any mercy.

Don't understand why you would't let me go because you obviously cannot think of a good enough reason. The only reason you don't want me to go is because you are scared about losing your daughter, which i get, but open your ******* eyes, I'm not 4 anymore. I haven't done anything wrong to deserve the suspicion you put me under, and maybe I might as well go do some shady **** so that when I'm interrogated, I might as well deserve it. GOD YOU HOE

Your mom is a sneaky and manipulating, lying bitch and you allow her to ruin our relationship because your mom spoiled you. You allow her to steal money from me just because she is your mom and she have the audacity to assume she was above it all. You are a ******* grown man and you suppose to take responsibility for your own actions but your mom allowed you to dwell in pity because she wants to baby you and protect you even when you were wrong for throwing tantrums or quitting your job without a back up plan.

We were happier and you were a bigger man when she wasn't around to baby you. She also should pay me back for the money she owe. I was nice enough to lend her money and help her out but she is one manipulating bitch and don't know how to respect people. Also she thinks just because she bought me a purse I owe her the world. She is insane and also you know I'm not a brand whore. She also lied about how much the purse cost as well.

Yes, your mom hates me because I'm honest and defended her when you yelled at her but come on what is wrong with her morals and ethic? Am I suppose to be some submissive girl that is also independent and a door mat at the same time and a piggy bank. All relationship have conflicts but we usually resolve it once we talked about it. Now she is giving you excuse by saying I shouldn't yell at you when you have your tantrum moment and that I should allow you to break things or even yell at her just because you are depressed for feeling useless and jobless. Your decided to quit your job when you found out your mom was coming to visit because she said she will give you money so you could go back to school but she never did. Instead she stole from me.

Also what is wrong with you as well. Taking relationship advise from her and justifying your own bad actions without making amends. Our relationship lasted longer than her failed marriage to your father. Your mom is the one with problems and yet she planted the ideal that it was all your dad's fault. She had only been with your dad and is single for over 26 years while your dad at least moved on and started a family. What I'm more surprise is she actually know the whereabouts of you dad

I used to believed you when you said your dad was a horrible person but I met both you and your mom so far and it seem your mom is the horrible one in the relationship. At least you dad tries to be nice while you mom just stays quiet most of the time and screw people over who tried to be nice to her. I won't be surprise if your dad actually beat your mom because she is disrespectful, manipulating, morally corrupted, and a lying bitch. I don't want justified wife beating but base on how she is she probably deserved it.

Also all she could do is see the bad in me and yet tried to used me. Well your mom is a horrible person and you refuse to see it. I gave you a reason to explain to me what I did wrong and why she hates me and you could only come up with me being mean because I told you to take responsibility over your life and to get a job so you could pay you bills instead of borrowing money from me. If she was a good mother she will push her son to do better.

Also your mom don't respect people's personal things and she had moved and throw away a lot of my stuff with out asking because she felt like it. I always wonder why sometimes you lack common courtesy and respect for other especially for earlier years. At least when she wasn't around you realize it after I say something. Now she encourage you to not respect others people or be empathetic.

Is 45-70 pistol cheap? When I trip to America I want to blow my head with it. This is only suicide method works.

One of the people i can always depend on to make me feel better about myself is making me feel like ****! They don't mean it but it still hurts! The playful teasing is going too far and they are picking out on my insecurities even when they know I'm not confident and I have told them they are taking it a bit too far many times. I HATE confrontation so its going to be so awkward and i don't know why they started being like this!! If anyone has made you feel bad then know that they don't know what they are talking about and you are great! I could really do with a cuddle and to be told I'm pretty even if thats really narcissistic haha!

I'm middle-aged and I have no one to rant to but online. I'm middle-aged, I have no purpose in life, and I'm alone. I have clinical depression, and I know that colors all my perceptions, but that doesn't keep them from being colored. And I find it difficult to sleep at night, because waking up is such a chore. But mostly, I would like to know what it is like to be alone without feeling lonely.

To everyone reading this:
I'm sorry you're dealing with this ****. You're a bright individual that can deal with anything. I love you. I also believe in you. Stay strong, beautiful. You got this.

I'm stupid, I procrastinate too much and never get my work done. I'm always sleep deprived and stressed over school even though I have no one to blame but myself. I think I may have ADD but I'm not sure.

I was best friends with this girl for 13 years like our family's we're our second families ya know? well she ended up disrespecting my family when we tried to protect her, therefore i lost all respect for her and dropped her. I told her i wanted nothing to do with her and she always tries to say sorry but im just not going to accept it. WELL months later after we havent talked she ends up living next to my aunt (ironic) and now shes dating my f*cking cousin. which makes me so mad bc i've told my cousin REPEATEDLY TO NOT F*CK WITH PEOPLE I ACCOSIATE OR HAVE ASSOCIATED WITH. honestly my cousin is a manwhore who cant keep his d*ck in his damn pants and keep in mind my former bestfriend already has a f*cking baby because she got knocked up by her previous bf. i cant seem to get the girl out of my f*cking life. i want her to get out for god sakes but she keeps appearing. and i'm clearly not okay with this. the day i found out she lives next to my aunt i didnt say a word to her. i said hi i'll admit but thats it. she made me hold her son which she calls my "godson" i'm 17 i'm no ones "godmother" at 17. I dont f*cking understand all i know is that when im 18 i'm moving out with my girlfriend and we're moving as far as we possibly can from this place

Okay, so my sister is really f*cking annoying.. First of all, my parents get us a car. Thats right. US. Not her. And they said that we can keep the car as long as we pay monthly payments and split the price for gas. So a month goes buy, and my parents decide to place the first payment my sister is saving for a trip to Hawaii, but we still pay for gas. $20 to fill the tank so its not a big deal. But this past month, she has been using the car WAY more than I have. (I dont have my license yet, but we agreed that she would take me places such as my job, errands, or friends if need be until I get mine.) anyway, one of the main reasons my parents even agreed to get us the car is because I have a new job and we only have one car. So it makes sense that she would drive me TO that job, so I could get my half's worth, and save my parents convenience, right. NOPE. She constantly has been blowing me off to drive her boyfriend and best friend around all damn day long, until I finally got sick of it and told her that I'm not paying anymore until I get my fair share of the car. So what does she do? SHE THROWS A F***ING FIT AND SAYS THAT SHE'LL GET OUR MOTHER TO CANCEL MY DEBIT CARD!! (I know she's bluffing. My mother would never do that, because I worked my a$$ off earning that money from both my jobs.) and this whole time she has been claiming that its her car, not mine, until money's involved! She is completely self absorbed and I have no idea what to do about it! Even though my mom won't cancel my card, I know she'll try to make me pay!

On another venting site, I occasionally post about foolish stuff I've seen on Tumblr, and now it seems I have an abusive and irrational stalker on this other venting site; this nut gets hysterically angry that I post remarks about Tumblr, because it's a venting website, and this nut said you're not allowed to post about Tumblr on this venting website. He posts this constantly, like the psycho he is.

SICK OF THIS HOUSE. I WANNA GO HOME. IM SICL OF THE PEOPLE WHO SAY THEYRE MY FAMILY NOW. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. I JUST LIVE ON A FARM FULL OF OLD PEOPLE NOW. "YOUR TIME WILL COME" FREAKING BITE ME YOU DRAGGED ME AWAY FROM MY SISTER AND ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO LIVE IN THIS BULL AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY? I DONT WANNA GROW ATTACHED TO ANYONE HERE CAUSE YOU MIGHT PULL ME AWAY FROM THEM TOO. DROP. DEAD.

******* brats

okay so i was at my friend's house having a sleepover and she was in her room and i was in the living room to sleep bc that's what we usually do and i was hanging out with her brother because he's my boyfriend and i thought she was asleep but she came out and said "i know yall are dating" (she thinks we broke up but we continued to date without her knowing) and i go "how" and then she says she went through my ******* phone and looked through me and his texts and she gave us this whole speech about keeping things behind her back when she does it all the time and so after i didn't hear from her until 1:30 pm the next day and it was a text telling me to tell my dad to pick me up then and there because she wanted me out of her house AND SHE WAS MAD aT ME FOR ******* GOING THROUGH MY PHONE AND SEEING **** THAT WASNT HER BUSINESS and when we texted whenever i would say something like "that is none of your business" she would change the subject to "so is ur dad picking u up" because she ******* knew i was right

I am in love. I just came to terms that I love a girl, as I am a girl myself. I am 16 and am not out to anyone. I was instantly intrigued by her and her confidence... I assume she is a lesbian by her attire and snapbacks, but also her attitude. I talked to her once in a while, and hung out a few times with another friend of ours. It was always fun and she would always playfully tease me about random things...But recently, she has been ignoring me and a couple other mutual friends, and I don't know why. It makes me so sad to think that I thought I might have meant something to her, as she would always do cute things like hold my stuff and open the door for me... but i guess not. I am not out myself and no one has any idea that I like her. I dont know what to do or who to talk to as it is the only thing that has been occupying my mind. She wont look at me or say hi, and she ignores me in general. I just want to know what I did and I want things to be back to the way they were before...What do I do?

I am in love. I just came to terms that I love a girl, as I am a girl myself. I am 16 and am not out to anyone. I was instantly intrigued by her and her confidence... I assume she is a lesbian by her attire and snapbacks, but also her attitude. I talked to her once in a while, and hung out a few times with another friend of ours. It was always fun and she would always playfully tease me about random things...But recently, she has been ignoring me and a couple other mutual friends, and I don't know why. It makes me so sad to think that I thought I might have meant something to her, as she would always do cute things like hold my stuff and open the door for me... but i guess not. I am not out myself and no one has any idea that I like her. I dont know what to do or who to talk to as it is the only thing that has been occupying my mind. She wont look at me or say hi, and she ignores me in general. I just want to know what I did and I want things to be back to the way they were before...What do I do?

I just started working after being a stay at home mom my husband list his job and even though he gets unemployment it is no where near enough. So not only do I get a job I get two in a matter of days both overnight jobs set schedules so I can be home in the day so he can look for a job not only has he not looked for a job but he does nothing but sit on his ******* game system all day I get off work at 4am and have to get up with the baby at 6 feed the 2 year old when she is up and get the 8 year old to school he doesn't help at all not even doing the dishes cooking a meal its all on me like I don't work 50 hours a week now. I am exhausted I fall asleep sitting on the couch and he has the nerve to say why are you sleeping or didn't you sleep last night like uh no. I have talked about it saying he needs to take care of the kids but he doesn't he ignores me. I am feeling like I have to provided everything and he is just free child care at night and that isn't how it should be. He should be doing everything I did when I was home since I have to go out and work

I don't think I'll ever be able to feel love. Crushes, yes, but true love? I don't know. It sucks because my girlfriend feels that way about me but I'm not sure how strong my feelings are for her. I want to love her, I truly do, she is amazing and perfect, but it seems that I can't. I hate this. I hope she is my soul mate and the emotions that come with that special person arrive shortly.

i cant do this any more.

i think i'm experiencing gaslighting again

I'm so exhausted every single day, yet my family's answers are vitamins. I take a whole enchilada of vitamins every day yet they don't have significant effect.
My mother is screaming at me because I didn't fold the laundry. Correction: my laundry, which is my responsibility. I took a nap and did something relaxing in place of folding to laundry because I was tired and stressed - however, she didn't care. I told her I'm just tired and she didn't take it into consideration. Nobody ******* takes me into consideration. My brother fell off of a ******* swing but she takes him to the hospital right away! Not me, tired, angry, feeling like fainting to a nutritionist or a doctor. God forbid.
When it's that ******* time of the month you're loosing even more blood, being for dragged down than ever.
I don't know what to do. I want to live somewhere else, with my grandmother, but I don't want to leave my school and friends, the people that make me forget about home.

My mother-in-law just pisses me off. She does nothing with her life except drink, watch Hallmark channel, and moan about how terrible things are. If I have to hear that toady voice croak on again about how the sight of food makes her sick, then I'll lose it. She has this weird habit of walking up to you and just staring at you. And she won't leave until you say anything. Honestly she creeps me out.

My aunt is dying and their's nothing my family can do to help her. I have lost my great grandfather, my great grandmother, and my grandfather. If I lose my great aunt. I'm not going to be able to not self harm if she dies. She has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and downs syndrome. She is the sweetest person on earth and doesn't have long to live. She doesn't talk anymore nor does she eat or drink anything. I really want her to live a long life, she is only in her 50's. I don't want her to go at all.

I havent been able to stop thinking of my ex.
We've been broken up for 6 months now and she couldn't be happier. I think of her everyday and get sad every time. I don't know why as I don't want to be with her again but whenever I think of how she manipulated me or just of her in general it makes me sad. I havent talked to her since a few months ago when I asked if she wanted a movie she left with me and talked about how happy she was to leave me. I'm also afraid I won't find someone who even shows interest in me anyways. I wouldn't get back because I know it wouldn't be the same but I just want to forget about her or at least not be bothered about thinking of her. Sorry for sounding like a whiny person. Advice would be cool and thanks for taking time to read this.

Too many Reddit moderators are like Nazis. Because Reddit is based on different subjects, not based on freedom of ******* speech so ***** moderators value order and peace of subs, they never value freedom of ******* speech

It's my birthday and so at my party, half of my friends left to go take pictures together and tried to go quickly so that I wouldn't notice and come with them. And usually every year, we post a picture with a nice paragraph about memories. It's a big deal in my group of friends. We stay up until midnight and race to be the first to post but they purposefully haven't done that for me this year. I don't know what to do :/

I want to kill myself. I've tried before but it didn't work. I want to stop breathing but I can't. I've liked this guy for around 4 years and although he's a d**k I think I'm in love with him. I can't help to smile every time I see him and when I'm talking to him I get butterflies and my heart goes all fluttery. When he's alone, without his friends he drops the mean look and he's so nice. Its like he's finally himself. The way his eyes light up when he talks about the things he loves is beautiful. When he laughs properly its magical, his smile reaches his eyes and lights him up from the inside. He can be rude, mean and annoying but he's goofy and cute. He's so far from perfect that he's perfect to me.

I ignored the people who care about me,
why did I do that?
I get ignored by the ones I care about,
Taken advantaged of by them,
Only there for their convenience,
Always left out.
I thought we were friends?
When you finally replied to me
After 5 days,
I try to sound positive,
Hyper,
Happy-go-lucky,
for your sake.
I try to pretend nothing's wrong
that I don't mind you ignoring me
that if anything, I understand you've been busy.
But that's a lie.
I know because
I log on to skype and see you texting your friends,
playing games with them,
acting like it would not matter whether or not I was there.
Do you remember the times?
When we used to do that?
Staying up until 2 am playing games
Just me and you.
You said we were best friends.
I believed your words.
So why aren't we now?
Have I done something wrong?
Did I bother you with my useless texts?
I'll be going away in a month.
I told you but you don't care.
I thought I was special.
I thought we were special.
I truly believed that we could have been friends until the end of time.
Why are things the way they are now?

Silly little ******* children can piss off

Okay,first of all,**** you. Second of all, WOW IS MY LIFE REALLY THAT INTERESTING FOR YOU TO JUDGE IT EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME LIKE COME ONE. You said you've "matured" but I don't see how you've matured. You complain about people not liking you but honestly please take the ******* time to look in the damn mirror. You literally judge evERYtHiNg i do like for ****'s sake. Like,if you did the same thing i did,i didn't ******* yap about it okay but then when i do it,OH NO IT's a SIN I'M GOING TO HELL. **** OFF. You're basically ruining my entire school year. You're making me question my doings like "is this right? will she get mad?". I DON'T WANT TO OKAY. I WANT TO BE FREE,I AM MY OWN SELF. Eveyrtime you have anger,you always put it out on ME. WHY? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? **** OFF OKAY. YOU SAY WE'RE FRIENDS,well you sound more like a hater to me. Ugh,please just get out of my life.

I hate my job as a cleaner in a chip shop and I hate the people I work with not only do the others boss me around but they leave things lying around making my job harder when we are supposed to be a team oriented business. I can't wait for the day customers realise how ****** are business is so it closes down and I can go full time at a job I love.

**** you, Husband.
**** you.
**** you.
**** YOU!
**** you for knowing how I feel and emotionally abandoning me tonight. Also **** you for lying about the size of your ****. Your small **** ruined both of our lives.

I have decided that my boyfriend is the biggest ungrateful manchild in the world. He's always obsessing over video games and tv shows and manga, and everyday goes to "hang with his homies". We do not get to hang out much, because a long distance, but it hasn't bothered me til now. He's stopped trying to be involved with my life, asking about me or listening to life. He starts to cut me off when I talk about things, and hardly shows interest in what I say, making it about him or his stupid comics. He's stopped talking to me about his life, and the moment his friend came back from time in jail, he's completely forgotten about me. I call him out on his ****, saying that he doesn't care about me anymore and ask him why. I tell him that he cares more about his friends and video games as opposed to the girlfriend he promised to marry. He claims that I spout bullshit, calls me annoy and nagging.
I'm tired. More and more I see him as annoying and careless. I don't think he cares about me anymore, and to be frank, if I didn't message or call him, I think he'd completely forget about me.

Okay, let me start off by saying, if I'm in a relationship with me, I'm super ******* jealous.
Okay, so let me begin by telling you I got tickets 2 days after my birthday to go see my favorite band, and I was ECSTATIC, so, eventually I got this boyfriend and I told him he was going with me. Everything was fine until the day of the concert, he messaged me asking if another girl could get a ride with us to the concert too, I didn't answer and he copied and pasted it again because I didn't respond, so that pissed me off that he was pushing it, if I didn't have a problem with it, I would have messaged you back instantly. In the car, my boyfriend wasn't talking to me very much and when he did he was extremely sarcastic but continuously talked to her. Another thing that set me off, lucky for him we were going to see the band that saved my life, the band that have me the strength to continue my life at the lowest point of lows. After he invited her, I invited my cousin because I didn't want to be annoyed by myself, so when we get into the concert Of course he was by her and she was seperating me and my boyfriend, so I just said **** it and did my own thing, then all 3 of the people I was with left me because they all wanted water, I stayed because I was so pissed didn't want to Bitch someone out. And lastly he wasn't being as cute as he normally was. But, later that night after they concert he texted me this cute thing about having one of the best nights of his life with the most amazing person in his life... Me.
And I'm still pissed, it's kind of eating away at me.

I always find myself being someone else I'm not. im insecure so i change who i am to be someone that others want me to be. i dont even know if im a good person, like the real me. Now i dont know what to do because i can't do anything great. Not as great of a singer like i thought i was and im not so smart. i feel like i have no place on this earth. i am so boring and empty i hate this

okay okay so lately i've been on my period and i bled through my white jeans and then it dribbled down my right pant leg into my shoe and like no joke i could feel it sloshing around in my shoe and when i took off my converse it was like bright red and i actually just puked right then and there and sos

AUHGUHAGUHGAUHGUAHUAHUGAHUAHGUAHUGHAUGHAUHUSDHGAIDHGISABDUABABSDGIUBALIUBWIUFBLSIUDBVLOSVHLSBDIGSDOICHASIVB:OASDVBIAXBVC:OISUXG"OBN:ROB:SOVGPISFBOSDHVGLISNB:IUBSDV OISX IKSBCLIUHSDOHV S:IUCVH:SIUDHBVLSIUDHV:ISUGV:IOSCV IUSBV:ISFGVLIUSDVH:SICGVKCXBPIU SD"GSCIKVN SI@VPISCH VLUISG :OISHB :KCN UYSVXC LIXBV LIUSVDB:OISUDVGLIYSUCV:ISUDVSIUVB


Alright, thanks. AND ******* ****. LAEIBOSIUVBSIDVUB SDOIVUBSUVH K

I want to be there for my boyfriend because I love him, desperately, but it's so hard sometimes to be the big person when his other lover tries to make me feel small, and sometimes succeeds. I wish that I didn't always have to be the one to wave the white flag when I know it's hurting him? Why do I always have to be the one to surrender, even if she's also to blame? Why do I always have to be the wrong one? Why can't he see that she's manipulative and controlling? It hurts that the person he loves so much loves to see me hurt.

Reddit is ******* authoritarian, brainwashing, collective, totalitarian, and ******* undemocratic. Just like Korean troll breeding ground like Naver, site is full of smartasses full of bravado and they stink.

Those who have offended me and branded me as troll without reason should DIE. I want to prepare a vengenace against them. I have posted my own myriad ideals on this cursed site. Yes, my ideals might have been slightly radical and originated from my hatred and ignorance. But I didn't mean any offence and just tried to find people do similar thoughts. So that I have posted my ****** radical ideals somewhere and that is all. Some arrogant people branded me troll because they thought I am utterly unaware of what the **** is nihilism and I just wanted to do some serious comversations, but they sent me r/offmychest. Are they better than me? Do they have any rights to make me ******* pathetic by denouncing me ?! How can I whack them with my own logics

Reddit is ******* authoritarian site and it ******* lacks freedom of ******* speech. If there is a fucked up freedom of speech, then there should be an utter freedom of venting, too. But whenever I vent my vehement wrath, people brand me troll without understanding it, remove my posts without notifications, and ban me. I can't find safe haven where mad people like me can vent safely.

I really hate that people think that losing weight is a fast, easy process. It is not. It’s easy for people who are already skinny but think that are fat. For ****’s sake, it’s bloody complicated for someone who actually is fat like me to lose weight. Do you even know how emotional the process is? Do you even know how many times the fat girl has tried to lose weight, lost a couple of pounds and then gained it all and doubled it because no one got her back? Do you? Do you know about her strechmarks all over her belly and arms and legs and breasts because she tried to lose weight but wasn’t actually able to do it? Do you know that what she craves the most is to be thin because that way she could be taken seriously as a human being? Stop judging people who are overweight without knowing what they’re going through or what they went through. It annoys the crap out of me that you say “eww, she’s fat and she went to the gym, look at her stomach moving and look how her boobs bounce”. YOU SAY I SHOULD LOOSE WEIGHT AND WHEN I DO IT YOU JUDGE ME FOR IT??? I hate it all. I wish I was thin

NO SION **** YOU. YOU COST US THE GAME. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO ******* FED. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO GROUP YOU PIECE OF ****. YOU COST US THE GAME. WE WERE DOING GREAT. WE HAD THE GAME WON. aND YOU HAVE E TO **** IT UP BECUASE OF YOUR GOD DAMNED EGO YOU PIECE OF ****. **** YOU. **** YOU YOU PIECE OF ****** ****. KILL YOURSELF AND ******* DIE IN A GOD DAMNED FIRE YOU PIECE OF FUCKIKNG ****.

I hate how my attending goes to church every single day, preaches like he's so goddamn holy and yet seems to be utterly holy FAKE. He preaches on God and forgiveness but holds goddamn grudges. He treats his fellows like his effing personal secretary. If he wants to be OC on his goddamn patients especially with his professional fees on them, then it should be him typing everything down. I'm a doctor not his personal assistant.

I'm sorry. I seriously don't understand why i find it so difficult to interact with people, but i do, and have minimal social skills. And yes, i might seem quite rude at times because some "rude" things just get me out of people situations faster. I really don't understand why people feel the constant need to be saluted by someone every time they meet and part. Like if you're not good friends or anything and only meet casually or for work purposes why must you waste time and energy on that. Also, i don't get how people don't get how difficult this is for some people. Yes, we are weird or incapable or whatever you want to call it, but that's just how it is at the moment and you and all your social situation are not helping one bit. I enjoy being nice and i don't want to see anyone offended unless that's what i was aiming for. Why do people have to take such small things so seriously. Like i don't have to address you directly or say hello if i'm not fond of you or close to you or if we don't spend much time together. Ugh, why is this so difficult

I'm about to explode. Because everything is down in dumps. No light at the end of the tunnel, just a train coming at me while it crushes me under it. I have lost hope, faith and whatsoever it's called. I am lost and I'm about to explode. I can't do this anymore...

I WANT TO ******* DIE! Like I want to die in the most anger filled way possible to show the assholes at my college how ******* ANGRY I AM. They failed me in the first year. I UNDERSTOOD. OKAY. I DID BAD. I HAD HEALTH ISSUES. **** IT, I ACCEPT THAT YOU FAILED ME THE FIRST TIME IN THE FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE. BUT WHY OH WHY THE **** WOULD YOU FLUNK ME THE SECOND TIME AFTER YOU KNOW I'VE WORKED SO HARD AND HAVE IMPROVED IN ALL WAYS!?? 2 ******* YEARS GONE! 2 WHOLE ******* YEARS OF MY LIFE THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO MAKE YOU GUYS BELIEVE I IMPROVED?! It wasn't like uni was the one grading me, it was THE ******* COLLEGE PROFESSORS. I may have not worked REALLY HARD but I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T DESERVE A CHANCE IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL TO ******* FAIL! AND THIS DEGREE WASN'T FOR ******* MEDICAL OR ENGINEERING OR ANYTHING THAT DESERVED TO BE CONSIDERED A "HARM" TO ANYONE EVEN IF I WAS BAD. IT'S MOTHERFUCKING ART. ART THAT I ******* LOVED ALL MY LIFE, YOU ******* CUNTS! MY DREAMS ARE OUT OF THE WINDOW. YOU GUYS DESERVE THE BIGGEST THORNIEST CACTUS UP YOUR BIG ASSES! I HOPE YOU GUYS DIE SOON. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T LIKE TO SEE YOU GUYS ALIVE. THE FACT THAT YOU FAILED ME FOR THE SECOND TIME IS THE WORST THING THAT I'VE EVER FELT. I AM NOT A FAILURE. BUT I AM SO ******* ANGRY THAT I MIGHT JUST KILL SOMEONE OR MAYBE JUST MYSELF. GOD. WHY. WHY ME?! I'm tired of saying "try me!" 'cause everyone just fucks me in the end.

Helen Kane is not the real betty boop. Baby Ester Jones is the real betty boop. I just believe that some people just can't admit that betty boop was based off from a black woman. Helen Kane is a copy cat, she copied off from Baby Ester! (I'm white my own self, and I even believe Ester Jones looks way better as betty boop than Kane, Kane looks like lady gaga I Halloween makeup, no offense). But besides that I'm just surprised that Helen would just go and steal ester's look like that, and not even have proof it was hers'! Shame, total shame.

I'm really conflicting sometimes. I'm crushing on this guy that I'm interning in. He fits everything in my criteria frankly speaking, and he seemed to genuinely cares what I think or say. But whenever we get close, that wall comes back up again, and he shuts me off for weeks until finally he looks for me for work. I don't understand how people can just do that. My friends tells me he's just using me, as I don't generally say no. My friends wants me to get over him, and I am. But then whenever he texts, or talks to me, I feel myself slipping, I'm resisting as hard as I can, doesn't help when the same friends asks me to play his game since he started it. I can't help but wait and cling to my phone just for a reply. I think he knows I'm crushing on him. My tactic now is to conjure every hating thought i can, but i feel disgusted with myself for degrading a person in my head. Am I really selfish or what. I don't want any relationship or any sort with him, but I still crave for his attention. Is this even right? Maybe i just need someone to give me attention.

Today is my stepsons high school graduation reception. My SIL decided to have her 9 year old daughter's birthday party today too. Her birthday isn't until next week. My SIL always does things like this. If it's not about her, her kids, or grandkids she makes it about them.

Why do people strive to be unique and original? It seems to happen more over the course of the internet then anything. The reality here is that everyone is boring, and just needs the gratification of others as a form of escapism to feel cut out above the rest. In a similar note, the lengths people go to for this sense of a unique identity are dumbfounding. Take in example with being depressed. Its basically a "meme" now, and people flaunt they suffer with depression, yet have never experienced it. There is no gain from being depressed, so why **** on the foundation of what being depressed ensues? At the end of the day, the attempt is null and deadpan just like their personalities.

People get sick ya know? Like, its a natural occurrence of life. But when I get sick, its definitely because I'm doing something wrong according to my dad. 'how dare you get sick again?!' 'what are you doing that you're always sick?' I'm not even sick that often! I've been sick maybe twice this school year? Maybe? But no, its definitely my fault for getting sick, no matter how much I wash my hands and keep a healthy routine, its my fault. What kind of parent gets mad at their kid for being sick? I could understand if it affected him, but it doesn't, because he's not even here. There is literally no reason for him to be mad at my sickness

You know what really f**king sucks? When you can't voice your opinion. When you are forced to be so....ABOVE and AMAZING in school. Live to the standards of your *** of a mother. Every day I have to go above and beyond in school, took AP classes in EIGTH grade. Take a Broadway academy. So much ****. Yet the first time I choose to fight back when my mother yells at me for being a horrible person, I get yelled at even more. And more. AND ******* MORE. Then she tells me I'm not allowed to keep an opinion because I'm a piece of trash. Sure do "love" my mom. Go burn in hell.

I always feel alone even though I'm surrounded by millions of people. I find myself empty constantly and nothing makes me happy. It began when i started freshmen year. You know, the transition and losing all your friends. The only one that bothered me the most was boy. His names Robbi. I just love him so much. Weird right? I'm 15! how can i love someone. But for some reason I do. I know its a two way street and people tell me all the time to just speak to him. But its far more complex than just some crush. I can't picture y life being content without him. I just don't know what to do.

I'm so over my relationship. I feel like i am the one that does everything from cleaning, errands, paying bills and raising two kids on my own, plus doing a double degree on top of all of that, and trying to gain custody of my neice.. my partners excuse is i have to work. So therefore i do not have to do anything. I feel i have no support. I don't have family around me. I'm so hurt that he would prefer to sleep all day at home rather than spend time with me and the kids. I can't do this anymore.

Wonder if Opera will kill David Letterman after her shot on his show tonight. She did say that for racism to end that old white people just need to die.....

I really ******* love this guy yet this guy is my best friend from 1st grade (we're still best friends) I know he crushed on me when I was younger but HOW THE **** DO I GET HIM TO NOTICE ME WHEN I HAVE NO CLASSES OR LUNCHES WITH HIM. AND HE'S ALWAYS ******* BUSY BECAUSE HE'S A NATIONAL GYMNAST. AND HE'S JUST SO ******* PERFECT AND UGHHHHH

Why do people care. I push them away for the better, but they just latch on tighter. I need to end this. I need to end all of connectionS before I go. End it all before I end, so it doesn't hurt them as much as when I go. Does anyone know how?

I don't understand, why after pining after you for months, a guy that you finally agree to go out with starts acting like he's doing you a favor. The immaturity is astounding. Every ******* time, I decide to let my guard down and give someone a chance, I end up looking like the desperate one and it's infuriating. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life but I hate that I have to look like an idiot just to get a date with a guy. I can't keep up with all of the rule, "don't text back right away" "don't act like you're free all the time" "make him chase after you." I just want a guy to be mature enough to tell me he likes me upfront and ask to take me out at an appropriate time.

I ******* failed my calculus quiz today. I was ready. I got the primary equation right, but I fucked up the secondary equation, which in turn FUCKS up the whole problem. I though the secondary equation was more complicated but it was just base times height. What a ******* joke! My grade will drop 5% as a result. And I really ******* NEED THIS A. I can't believe it. I haven't **** up this bad on one of his quizzes, ever.

I swear everyone hates me? I can't vent or rage or anything because there's always someone I know that could see it and they'd get really worried. I want to kill myself. So badly it's almost unbearable!! The only Freaking reason I'm alive and venting right now is because of my stupid f****** crush. He's a wonderful human being and I've liked him for 4 years. I've said nothing to him but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him. I want to kiss him and him to hold me while I cry. I want to tell him everything but I'm to scared to tell anyone anything

I can't have one ******* decent conversation with someone, ever. Every time I talk to someone they instantly bring up depressing/infuriating ****, OR don't reply. I'm ******* done with that bullshit.
Another thing that's stressing me out is the fact some people can't take a hint. I don't want to talk about certain people, but they wont take the hint.
'I'm sorry that I made you mad.' IF YOU'RE ******* SORRY, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING THAT REPEATEDLY MAKES ME MAD. I LOVE YOU AND I CAN'T TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD, BUT PLEASE STOP. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT THOSE TWO PEOPLE WHO I REPEATEDLY EXPRESS MY HATE FOR DID TO YOU, YOU WONT LET ME TALK TO THEM AND YOU WONT TELL THEM OFF. THE ONLY THING IT DOES IS PISS ME OFF TO THE POINT I WANT TO PUKE.

I can't believe you have the nerve to complain about the same thing you've done to me, it's ******* bullshit.
If you don't care about me, why should I care about you? You've emotionally hurt me many times, and so has that other chick. I'm sick of your ****, but you're not gonna know that. You use this site and you probably wont even know that this is me, complaining about you.
You never notice. Ever.

I'm soo sad, my precalc average is horrible and I want to get into medical school :(

If you dont know anything dont act like you do

"Why would I ruin a perfect relationship by getting married?"

If fully committing yourselves to each other would ruin it, then maybe it's not such a perfect relationship after all.

Gays need too fuking all die.

The fact you don't give two shits about anyone but yourself is hilarious. I could kill myself right now and you wouldn't care.
Someone across the world cares more than you do, huh.

I'm ******* sick of a certain someone ignoring me all the ******* time and making me feel like ****.
You're supposed to be my friend, and the only ******* thing I do is help you. You can't even return a message, or help me with one problem? I was feeling extremely suicidal and the only thing you did was bring up an incident that WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT.
You were the one who got in between a private argument between me and someone else, BLOCKED ME, and then messaged me on another site and turned other people on that account against me.
When I'm too depressed or stressed out to review something for you, you get pissed off. I'm sorry, is my mental health interfering with something you can get someone else to review? Is every time I'm ACTUALLY HAPPY a downer for you, is that why you bring up the most depressing ****?
I would love to tell you all of this, but then you'll guilt trip me and get people against me, I personally can't handle that right now.

I'm tired of trying so hard to make something and having people ignore it or just toss it to the side like it doesn't matter.
But then they get mad when I try to stand up for myself and confront them.
Like.
Seriously?
You treat me like **** then get mad when I say "this makes me sad please stop"??
Makes no sense.

Fukin black ppl need to quit bitchin. Bunch of whining little biches. You don't see any other race complaining only these black arse, lazy, drug taking thug talking pricks and hoes.

"Keep it 100" bothers the **** outta me!!! I feel like people who do "keep it 100" don't feel the need to say anything. Nobody is humble around here.

I'm gonna ask my husband for a divorce. He's failed me and because of him I've lost more than a year of my life. He's a UK citizen and I'm an American citizen. Our plan was to get me over to the UK. We knew from the moment we got married that the immigration process would be difficult. He is required to be working at least 6 months for the same employer making £18,600 minimum a year. He was working for a close friend when we got married getting paid with cash directly and not having to pay taxes. Due to this, the government can't acknowledge his employment. For months I've asked him to find another job but the money and the flexible schedule was way too good for him to give up (he only worked 3-4 day out of the week and was getting paid almost £1,000 a week). After being a part for a few months, I decided to visit him in the UK for a month. During that month, I took the initiative to look for a job for him and landed him a bunch jobs. The idiot took the first offer which also happened to be one of the lowest paying job offers. His excuse was he just wanted to get a job asap so he took the first job that called him. Since the pay was so low, if he misses just 2 days of work a month, his wages will not satisfy the requirement. It's been 3 months and he absolutely hates the job but has to stick with it or our chances of getting the spouse visa won't happen. In the meantime, I've been taking up temporary ****** jobs for the past year hoping that my husband would get his head out of his *** and straighten out his life to get me to him. I live in a small town with no good jobs. I have 2 degrees and I am very career oriented. I didn't think I was gonna put my life on hold for 12+ months when I married my husband but that is exactly what has happened. All the while I see my peers getting advanced degrees and careers. I shouldn't have married him until he got a proper job. I'm sick of waiting. I'm disappointed in my husband for holding me back. I live in Hawaii. There is nothing here but tourism and restaurant jobs. I could have moved to the mainland during the past year to look for a proper job. I know I have myself to blame as well but I had hope in him to get done what was needed of him and he failed me.

I'm a pessimistic person. I'm just going through the motions right now And I'd like to change my perspective and figure out what I really want in life that I believe that I could accomplish. I know what I need to change but I'm having difficulty doing it. But I'll keep trying

I want to die and I hate myself beyond reason. I have been suicidal for three years and I just can't handle it anymore. I might just ed it all.

I am so angry with these people I am working with right now. They don't respect my authority and they think they know everything. I am so tired of listening to them tweak little things and complain about **** they can just fix themselves. These two people are driving me insane. They think that just because the instructor talked to them about it they have the power. I have the power because everyone else in the group knows that I'm not a pretentious prick.

I WANT TO CRY BC I CANT GO TO GERARD WAY'S CONCERT IN TORONTO BC IM SOMEWHERE ELSE

i cri evrytiem

i just rlly want to meet him so badly bc he's like my hero, not to sound melodramatic but i just-

im so ******* tired that i can't ******* sleep wtf i have massive bags under my eyes, i cant concentrate ever and i cry and get angry all the time. i cant even sleep wtf is wrong with me. my mum gets angry and i cant help it. i yawn all the time and i cant stop. my eyes are always red and i have the biggest blackest eye bags. iu cant wear makeup to school so i cant cover it up. people always ask me if im sick or something or on drugs but no its just my face. i get acne aswell which the doctor told me is linked to sleeplessness.
Please help im so ******* tired ugh

Have you every gooten so ******* upset with someone they honestly made you ill. That is how I'm feeling right now. My legs are weak, my food is fighting its way up and I'm running a fever. This is sick and I can't beleave I told my self I loved this man. Now I don't know what the **** to do now

Habe you every gooten so ******* upset with someone they honestly made you ill. That is how I'm feeling right now. My legs are weak, my food is fighting its way up and I'm running a fever. This is sick and I can't beleave I told my self I loved this man. Now I don't know what the **** to do now

fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml

ugh i f***ng hate my school and me teachers because they tell me to hand notes to people who arent even my teachers and i was late and i had to explain the whole thing. i was late because i thought it was free dress day and i had to go home and get changed into my uniform. i missed form (which is the only form; no afternoon form) and i didnt get to hand in a note because of it. now my tacher is telling me to hand in the note to a teacher who i dont know where to get hold of ugh i f***cking hate my life. fml.

sexuality is something that a lot of people don't really talk about. but I've always felt really weird when people asked me if I had a boyfriend. like, no, I don't have a boyfriend. but then, I started realizing that I was getting really close to some of my girl friends, in a purely friendly way.
and then I met a girl at my church and i suddenly realized. wow, shes really cute and i just want to hug her and kiss her and take care if her in the sweetest way i can. after a while of simply talking to each other, she openly came out to me as a bisexuals (though more on the side of lesbian) because she thought I was bisexual as well. at the time, I thought, yeah, maybe that's what I am. I hadn't really given much thought to all that sexuality stuff.
and then my cousin appears into the equation. it's complicated, he's dating my best friend, but we still see each other behind her back. I mean, I try to keep him from going to far with me since there was a history between the three of us. but then, at the beginning of this month, we went a little too far and I couldn't stop him.
I lost my first kiss and he touched me. I don't hold it against him, even though I know I should. it's kind of awkward between us since I keep trying to avoid him.
but the thing was, even when he touched me, I still had a clear mind. I didn't even feel anything sexual even though it was clear that was where it was headed. after a couple weeks that this happened, I was going through tumblr when I ran across the first post I've seen on asexuality.
it explained a lot that I've been feeling. I don't ever feel sexually attracted to anyone, but I always seek out any kind of romantic contact. I always hug and hold hands and basically start any kind of skinship that I can.
I learned about asexuality and aromantism(?) and I really started to realize things about me.
before, since I didn't really know how to describe myself, I had always told my closer group of friends that I was bisexual. but now, I'm starting to think that I'm more of an asexual biromantic something else.
I know that it'll probably take me my entire life time find out what I am, but I'm just happy like this.
unfortunately, my family has full intentions on seeing me married to a man with children in the future. any thoughts of anything other than heterosexuality were looked down upon and disgraced.
I don't exactly have a problem with sex. as I'm still a minor, I would prefer to stay a virgin until I find an understanding boyfriend or girlfriend. if I do see myself with a family, I really can't see anything past me my partner with a couple of puppies or a young child (young child specifically). I don't really want to look too far in the future and decide, but as things are...
I'm so lost and
I need help

I took a job photographing a wedding for a very good friend. He was going to pay me for the equipment I needed. He didn't. Plus he tacked on a lot of extra work for me to do. I saved him 1200 dollars by shooting his stupid wedding for free, plus I am out about 500 of my own cash. I hope their children have gills, and he dies in a fire.

I'm just tired of everything . Muslims have problems too people . My mom keeps yelling at me because I don't fix my scarf right the way she wants it. I don't dresss nice anywhere because I'm ugly and short and fat I'm 4'11. I never get invited anywhere

I was a virgin.
I had been a virgin for seventeen years.
I was planning to remain a virgin until, I don't know, marriage?
I had dated a previous guy for three years, since I was fourteen. No, not "off-on" dating either, full fledged dating, three years straight.
We broke up in March after I found out he cheated on me and had given his virginity to another girl, and even tried to lie about it.
At the beginning of April, I began dating another boy.
I currently still am.
He goes against everything I believe in..
He drinks, he smokes and gets high, he dips, he has sex..
I'm not that type of person.. I'm actually very innocent when it comes to "teenage rebellion."
Or rather, I was.
In less than a month, this guy, this f***ing guy, had convinced me to have sex with him.
And I f***ing did.
My parents still don't know.
They think I spent the night with one of my friends.
That's another thing I'd never done.. I'd never lied to my parents..
But yeah..
He talked me into having sex with him..
I gave him my virginity.
Now, I knew in my heart before he and I got together that he wasn't a virgin, although I never asked or gave him the chance to confirm it, I knew he wasn't. But I didn't want to actually know, for him to straight up be like, "Yeah, I've f***ed other girls before."
So.
Yeah.
First time I saw a *****, him. First time I touched a *****, him. First time I was touched by a guy, him. First time I had sex, f***ing him.
And I'm so angry right now, and I shouldn't be..
But here's why..
Today, I found out he slept with my best friend before we started dating.
Yeah, I know, I can't be mad, I'm not ALLOWED to be mad, she came BEFORE me..
But, I am mad.. Why didn't she tell me when it happened? Why did she act like she didn't even KNOW him when he and I started holding hands and stuff?
I feel so betrayed and lied to..
And now, I'm thinking about breaking up with him, because when I look at him, I no longer see his face, I see hers and I see her naked and I see them together, naked, kissing, everything he's done on me, he probably did to her.

I want my virginity back.
Don't be stupid like me, girls (or guys).
Seriously.
I feel icky, and broken, and ignorant.
I feel like a piece of myself is missing now that I know.
I don't know how to process it all.
I feel so filthy and so tainted.
#ifeelworthless #worthless #impure #tainted #noonewillwantme #Ifeellikeaslut #whore #betrayed #sorryifmyhashtagsareannoying

I wish I was good at math. My mom doesn't understand why I can't pass my class. I study. I get tutoring. I try to understand but I CAN'T. I wish there was someway I could understand. I try telling my mom that I just might be stupid and/or behind. She just thinks I'm lazy instead of not smart. I may not get credits for my class. My mom wants to take away the only thing I've ever been good at. Public speaking. I maybe a famous senator one day, but that won't happen because I CAN'T DO ALGEBRA. WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS SOCIETY? Why? Just, why? I can study and try to make a good grade but I'll end up with a 25% grade. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND MATH BUT I COULD DEBATE IN ANYTHING IN POLITICS. See my ******* problem?

**** my life.
Who enjoys this? Who likes his work? Why is everybody still walking around? Why doesn't 50% of the population just kill themselves? Wouldn't they be better of dead? Why don't I do it?
Why do people have kids?

I wish I was good at math. My mom doesn't understand why I can't pass my class. I study. I get tutoring. I try to understand but I CAN'T. I wish there was someway I could understand. I try telling my mom that I just might be stupid and/or behind. She just thinks I'm lazy instead of not smart. I may not get credits for my class. My mom wants to take away the only thing I've ever been good at. Public speaking. I maybe a famous senator one day, but that won't happen because I CAN'T DO ALGEBRA. WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS SOCIETY? Why? Just, why? I can study and try to make a good grade but I'll end up with a 25% grade. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND MATH BUT I COULD DEBATE IN ANYTHING IN POLITICS. See my ******* problem?

I want to be skinny. When I sit down I feel gross because of all my body fat. My thighs? Ugliest thing I've very seen. I want to be like everyone else in my grade, them saying "I'm only 105 pounds!" And not being afraid of jumping in a pool. Me? I'm afraid to tell people my weight. I've lied about my weight to others since I was 10. I was never EVER satisfied with my weight. Doctors tell me it's normal (my weight) but that's a big lie and I know it. I want to be one of those girls that can look good in dresses and leggings. I want to be one of those girls that can wear a croptop without being called fat or just wearing one won't remind you of how ******* fat you are. Last year was the first year I was satisfied with my body. Out of all the years I lived, I wore a bikini for the first time last year. I was skinny. Now, I want to drop as many pounds as I can. I'm probably 157 or 170 who even knows I'm just ******* fat and ugly... And I'm 5'5... The only thing I'm fine with is my boobs but flat chested girls make fun of me saying they are too big... I don't get society.
"Gain weight!" They say to girls under their average weight.
"Lose weight!" They say to girls a bit over their average weight.
"Stop being a slut!" They say to girls wearing nice clothing,sometimes a V neck.
"Stop dressing like a boy!" They say to girls who wear sweatpants.
Mom- "You need to watch your weight."
*next day* "Can I use the treadmill?"
Mom- "No."
"Why?"
Mom- "Leave me alone!"

Why can't I just kill myself... Maybe in heaven weight won't matter.
I'm gonna try not to eat tonight or tomorrow.

Doesn't it get old?

Why the heck is David Cameron still prime minister?! GTFO!

F*ck you. You stupid f*cking idiots have no idea what's going on, do you? You think you're so damn clever. I almost can't believe how easily this pisses me off. I can't wait till the day you find out how wrong you were and wished that you could have just shut the f*ck up. I really can't. It will be glorious.

I'm completely heartbroken & suicidal. Howw do you get over someone you are just so in love with???? Is killing yourself the most stupid thing you could ever do???? I know that no guy is worth my life but I can't stop contemplating suicide. Please help me. :(

So angry because I have to write a paper about a presentation because my judges thought that I didn't know enough about the background information. I knew the information! They asked me obscure questions about things that have not even been researched yet, but expected me to know the answer!

Next, my best friend basically accused me of changing the time of a group meet up just because I had told someone else that my best friend would be late. It's not my fault that that person doesn't understand how to comprehend a text. I had specifically sad yes to the regular meet up time and then told them my best friend was going to be late!

I'm just super irritated now.

I got back my assignment today and got an A but my bff got a D. Now she's mad at me just because I got a grade higher than her. Not only that she's also angry with me because of my level of skill at art. It's not my fault that I can do my work well.

Plus, I put a ton of amount of effort in doing the assignment, doing it two weeks before the due date. We were all given 2 weeks, what the hell was she doing in those two weeks? Slacking off? And she did it the day before it was due. that's definitely worth a grade D!

Worse still, a lot of my classmates in class got below C, and there was only two students who got A (one of them being me). Everyone's seen the quality of my work and they're all hating on me just because I can do it. I'm definitely not sorry, it took me lots of practice in secondary school to do that.

The worst of the worst they would tell me is that I don't belong in the class because I'm too good for them. I'm not sorry, I really have a dream and ambition I want to fulfill, that's why I'm putting tons of effort in college more than them! I know what I want to do, that's why I'm giving in my all to get the best grades.

If art isn't their forte, they should be the ones to get out of the course.

I'm thinking whether I should axe myself from the guest list for the dinner on saturday cos I just don't feel like turning up. I look like a hag now to be honest, and I'm pretty sure the VIP and host don't really want me there. Hmm.

People in school are just first class a-holes. My friends and I our table first then some prep b*tches decided to kick us out of our own table. Because it's their table. When they only sat there one time.

It's like a ******* change, or a shift. When you realize this depression is a test. It's your sub concious saying
"Hey man, you can drink, or browse some facebook or kill some zombies, But im still gonna be here until you change what you need to change"
go around it all you like but only you can get yourself out of this void when you realize the world doesn't owe you ****. You were given the gift of existence, you were 1 in millions of sperm to get thru and yet your still waiting for the universe to suck your ****.
selfish angsty child. Get unstuck and appreciate the empty feeling for pushing you forward. You cant dance with happiness without shouting sorrow a few drinks.

I just got dress coded for showing my navel, but there's a guy here wearing a tank top with and alien smoking a blunt saying "It's so high to be high" like in what universe does any of this make ******* sense?

I got back my assignment today and got an A but my bff got a D. Now she's mad at me just because I got a grade higher than her. Not only that she's also angry with me because of my level of skill at art. It's not my fault that I can do my work well.

Plus, I put a ton of amount of effort in doing the assignment, doing it two weeks before the due date. We were all given 2 weeks, what the hell was she doing in those two weeks? Slacking off? And she did it the day before it was due. that's definitely worth a grade D!

Worse still, a lot of my classmates in class got below C, and there was only two students who got A (one of them being me). Everyone's seen the quality of my work and they're all hating on me just because I can do it. I'm definitely not sorry, it took me lots of practice in secondary school to do that.

The worst of the worst they would tell me is that I don't belong in the class because I'm too good for them. I'm not sorry, I really have a dream and ambition I want to fulfill, that's why I'm putting tons of effort in college more than them! I know what I want to do, that's why I'm giving in my all to get the best grades.

If art isn't their forte, they should be the ones to get out of the course.

Don't blame me as your excuse to others to do what you want.

You are not organised in the ******* slightest!
I try to help by making things easy and being easy going but you have no ******* consideration for me or my feelings .
I love you with all my heart but I wish you weren't such a lazy bitch all the time .
I think it would take you a week of standing on **** , having no clothes and having no food to realise that I was gone .
Please shape up I can't stop feeling this way

i hate ************ w b shrff they are like gestapo follow me wherevr i go fk u w b shrff u can kiss my ***

I miss her so much.....she wants nothing to do with me at this point. she wants time and its all my fault. i pushed her to were she wants some one else and honestly i cant live with myself know that i lost the girl im deeply and truly in love with bc I'm a ******* idiot

Hi

So, I have met this guy and I really like him. A lot. He's really cute, sweet, smart and funny.

But we get into it sometimes because he takes FOREVER to do anything. He gets stoned and then he just wants to lay in bed ALL day and when I ask what he wants to do, he kind of suggests this and that but won't decide on anything.

Seriously, I am not exaggerating. Like, the other day, I was like, "Well, what do you want to do today?" He's like, "Well, I want to make you breakfast and I got to work." Then, I realizedthere was no coffee so I was like, well, I'm going to run to starbucks and get some coffee and I'll be right back and we can do brekfast and u can go to work." Then, he's like, "well, i wanna go bc I want to read the paper." He comes with and reads the paper while we do coffee and says, "Well, i need to go to Costco and to a thrift shop." We go do that eventually and then we don't end up doing "breakfast" until like, 5p.m. and he didn't end up working at all. Honestly, I just am not sure how this relationship is gonna work. I'm afraid we'll go broke if we are together.

It almost happens daily. I go to get up and he pulls me back into bed.

I really like him but he htinks I'm impatient and I think he's got a bad case of sloth.

What do I do?!

The guy that I was in love with lives next door. We have been super close and almost went all the way. Then all of a sudden he cut me out of his life and gets a girlfriend. He lead me on and then abandoned me. WHO DOES THAT???????

The guy that I was in love with lives next door. We have been super close and almost went all the way. Then all of a sudden he cut me out of his life and gets a girlfriend. He lead me on and then abandoned me. WHO DOES THAT???????

I'm at my dad's house and I haven't been here in about a month and a half. He's absolutely obnoxious to me. Since I was 7 (I'm 14 now) I have hated him for the way he treated me. In November he abused me for the first time and I've only seen him 3 times since then. I came here tonight because I wanted to pack my stuff so I wouldn't have to ever go back. Within the first 45 minutes of being here I already have a bruise on my upper right arm because he hit me. I'm afraid to tell my mom or anyone because he might hurt me worse. I don't know what to do and I want my mom. She said she cant pick me up because it's not right for her to do that. I told my dad I wanted to go home and he says, "Why, why do you do this? What do you have against me?" Is it not obvious that what he does and how he treats me makes me want to leave?

My sister has been going in a downward spiral because some d-bag used her. She has since latched on to our mother and our mother has been feeding the demon because she likes feeling wanted by her children. I got her a puppy for Mothers Day and a card, my sister got her flowers. She first takes a picture of the flowers and posts it saying "such beautiful flowers Grace loves me so much." followed shortly by a picture of the puppy being held by my sister saying "and my mothers day dog." no mention of me or how much I love her or anything. I understand my sister has mental issues, bi-polar disorder, and sometimes needs a lot of support. She uses me for weed only and lately that is what my mom has been using me for as well. I was invited to a mothers day BBQ as an after thought and it was an invite presented to my fiance not me. They chose to call him instead of me to invite. I have become an independent adult, something I thought my parents were striving to create. Apparently they need you to depend on them in order to get any attention. I Invited my mom to dinner and she said she would only come if my sister could cuz they were hanging out. I wish I didn't feel left out of a lot of things, I wish I had a spine and could say all this **** to my mother. Whatever I'm close to just fully cutting them out of my life at this point. Both my parents prefer the children that need them over me. One brother has a pos wife and has to be driven to and from drs appointments and the grocery store and ****, the other brotehr has crippling social anxiety but won't take anything to help so he can't live normally on his own and of course my sister being bi-polar and generally insane. I'm getting to the point that I won't have them do anything in my wedding ceremony. No walking me down the aisle, no being groomsmen or bridesmaids. I'm just so ******* done and can't wait to have a different last name. It's a small thing but it will make me so much better I feel....

Right so I am a twin and ******* hate it and I hate her. Me and her are completely different and I hate her more than words can describe. She thinks she is all this she is the girl with the older boyfriend and the amazing grades and the great life and then there's me who could never be good as her and I hate it so ******* much that my parents like her more than me! Parents shouldn't have favourites but it is clear here, they always side with her even if I am right and uses the crying card to get out of everything and I just hate her I can't wait till everything falls on top of her and that her life's does to **** because I will sit there pointing and laughing at her because she is the worst thing in my life and has never cared about anyone but herself I wish that she would just go somewhere else like live with her boyfriend so i don't have to see her any more. The worst thing is is that I look JUST like her which makes it so hard to be myself I am always the sister never me and it drives me up the bloody bend I hate her I hate her I hate her I hope she gets hit by a bus because I won't go to her funeral I can't wait til I move out because I won't have to keep contact with the silly cow! My dream in life is to get a great job have a family and never see my sister You may think I am being harsh I am seriously not she has always had everything and my parents have always supported her and they have never with me I wasn't the brightest kid but she was. I wasn't the sportiest but she was/ I wasn't musical but she was she can do anything and I couldn't I am jealous of her and I hate her how she loves to just rub it in my face that she is better than oh how I wish I could just smash that little bitches face in with a hammer! She bathes in her own self importance and I can't wait till i never have to see her again.

It shits me so much how petty she ******* is. She removed mention of me, 4 years after our fall out, from her blog thanking me for sharing a link with her. She is such a ******* skanky ho, I am so glad the last time I saw her being such a fake *** she jumped over to me at one point and said "This is your song!" and I was all, yeah, I don't see you there bitch, don't try to pretend you didn't just steal my mate's man because you needed to "nurture yourself and just be selfish for once", treat me like **** for years and then suddenly you're all buddy buddy. You are so ******* fake.

lol..

UGH im really annoyed... 40 and crying over a friend, you sound like a 12 year old!

I've been overweight since I was in the 4th grade. I have gone years, it is true, without working on it whole-heartedly, and years where I was close, oh so close, to feeling good about myself. I am, once again, working out, eating healthy foods and watching my portions...my spouse, on the other hand, was skinny as a rail for years, then bulked up and lifted for years, and then let that go and got MARGINALLY soft, as he is just one of those people that has a fast metabolism and doesn't have to work to "maintain" his weight, and has started working out and eating right with me, for once (Except for the fact that he eats icecream and cookies everynight...) and this is all fine, until he says to me yesterday morning, that I am wasting my time in the gym because I did back-arms and bi-ceps, instead of bi-ceps and chest and then this morning, looks at my wrap that I made for lunch that had 1 piece of turkey, 1 piece of provelone and lettuce and 4 slices of cucumber and says - that's really too much food for you- I don't think you know how much fat is really in the food you eat. You shouldn't really eat the whole wrap, and I knwo you awlways do, but i nevcer do. Well bully for you- bully for you and your snacking all day, and bully for you and your damn chips ahoy and ben and jerrys every nicght and bully for you and your damn judgement of what I know. Don't tell me what I know. I promise you and anyone one reading this, that fat women KNOW more about what is in their food and what they should and shouldn't eat than the best nutritionist. I've been studying fat and diet stuff for 30+ years. I think i know exactly what I am doing. So- enjoy your nacking and your high-calorie gatoraids and your flavored high-fat coffee creamer and keep your nose out of my damn lunch bag.

I don't understand how people say they're religious yet don't act like it.

Why the hell did Thomas Brodie-Sangster audition and apparently GOT the part of "Hardin" (btw **** name) in the movie adaptation "After". AFTER!!! ******* AFTER!!!!!!! ******* FANFIC AFTER. WHAT THE **** ANNA TODD?!!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WGHYWBJHE FJHWA RJV QE,RJVBKSJF ;LSJANL AAARRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHUHUHUHUHUHUUUHHUHHUUHHU

What is it like to live in a real home? I've always wanted to know.

my grandma flew to canada for my cousin's ******* period party short notice. which honestly, i didn't even know was a thing cause when i got mine i just freaked out and didn't tell anyone. but i turn 16 which is something you can plan ahead on especially since my mom sent out invites 3 months ahead of time and my grandma couldn't make it because one of her feiend's sons was getting married. but hey, at least she called me on the 11th and left a very nice voice mail wishing me a happy birthday. though my birthday is on the 13th. i feel stupid for caring this much about my grandma. but shes the only grandma i have since the other ones died before i was born.

It ******* annoys me when women don't tell other women when their makeup has run. This results in that poor woman (ME!!!) around in the city looking like a ******* traffic accident happened on her face...
I mean what happened to sisterhood? If we don't have each other backs then who does?
Sorry fwp I know. But this is a ******* rant and I give no fucks

I constantly find myself sliding into a deep sadness inescapable darkness that surrounds my mind, only pushed away when I forget my loneliness when I'm at work

I can not beleive this **** right now. I hate evasdropping but hell I`m right across the room. Anyway I just heard my Mom and sister bpth just said I treat them bad and don`t help. Like **** you two I can`t beleive they said that I help more than any other family members I do laundry, clean the kitchen, clean the house(I admit sometimes)Keep my room clean, and help take care of the kids and I do my schoolwork. And my sister just late last year did she started helping around I mean I get she does the go out errands but **** I say thank you and **** and my Mom ugh I love her but **** I can`t beleive this crap. My sister is mental but **** go to the doctors it`ll ******* help it did before. I have my own mental problems but I have been asking so see a doctor since I think more than 2 years ago. What also dosent help is that I live in the same house as my ******* of a brother. And my sister and mom want mt to forgive **** him I cant beleive they told me that and I wish someone could just talk to me because I`m fighting a war inside my head right now and its winning. And I can`t tell people at school because I have no friends and crap like. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?

Yeah I ******* skipped out on the party. I mean, my mom was really pressuring me not to go, but I could have held her at bay if I felt really strongly. It was just not a good night. I wasn't feeling great, and I didn't want to make it worse by having a late night and waking up early for church with my mom on mother's day. Yes I feel like an ******* because you changed the date for me, but you shouldn't have put your eggs all in one basket if my absence was that upsetting. I feel ******, but I shouldn't feel this ******. Hopefully you get over it and we're still cool.

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 Years, together since we were 15, now we are in college doing a long distance relationship (we are only 3.5 hrs drive away) and he wants to be in an openrelationshp?!?!!? one minute he wants nobody but me the next he wants to party with his guy friend and do regular "college things" and not be tied down. I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED!! either get ur s**t together and figure it out or I will make the decision for him!!! He makes me feel like im not worth being faithful to if im not physically there, he says its nothing but physical, he loves me and he will only ever love me, when we are face to face together we are perfect and meant for eachother, he always says that I am his gift from god that I am the best thing that has happened to him, but then on the phone he wants to have fun but be with me do friggin confused

I feel like my friends a have abandoned me, sure, we were best friends last year and we grew apart, but every time i try to work things out and spend more time with each other, her "new" friends (girls i strongly dislike) always have to be there too. i feel like she doesn't try anymore

My dad is acting like the smartest ******* bitch around the house. "oh, i got a lot of experience blah blah blah, im a faggot, im so smart, ur so dumb"
He tells me to book a reservation for something and follows the instructions he's laid out for me, I book it accordingly and he calls me a ******* dumbass for not notice an error in his instructions that he made himself....
Like what the ****, u shithead, i just followed ur instructions...
if i hadnt followed the instructions, i would get **** on
however when i did, i still get **** on for his mistakes...

In my life there are just too many things to bitch and moan about but not enough people to listen..

Why am i so broke all the time! It's so hard to earn a living and have a life at the same time!

asdasd

So I was having a bad enough day as it was, I've had two breakdowns in the past 3 days and something's wrong with my stomach and I just haven't been feeling good. And my mom's been out of town since Thursday night (it is now Monday afternoon) so I've had the house to myself thankfully because she is like 90% of my problems. Over the weekend I dyed my hair blue, because I freaking wanted to. I'm 25 and still live at home sure, but only because I literally cannot work a retail type job for medical reasons that prevent me from doing the duties outlined in the job description and I am going back to school to get my bachelors degree so I can get a job in a field that is basically everything I need to cater to my medical problems.

And really, mom never told me I couldn't. I paid for it with money I earned dog walking and mowing lawns and pet sitting for people around us. I've been doing that since I was in high school, and while the pay isn't the greatest it does allow me to have some money to spend on whatever I want. My mother has NEVER told me I wasn't allowed to dye my hair; I've been doing it on and off for years and her only condition is that I don't get the dye on anything. This is achieved by hanging old bedsheets around my tiny bathroom, removing the shower mat and replacing the curtain with one I did stain by accident some time ago, and generally being super careful about it. She's never complained about it before and I've been red, blonde, super blonde (nearly white), black, and a lot of shades of brown. I've had streaks of purple, blue, green, yellow and other colors before. But I've never gone full on 'unnatural' colors until now.

Suddenly, it's a problem. Suddenly 'it looks terrible' and 'you did a crap job on it' and a whole host of other things that basically made me feel awful about myself. She got mad and basically threw a small child-like tantrum at me about it. She seems to think other people are going to give a crap about what I look like, and somehow my 'freak hair' is going to ruin her reputation. She likes to forget that this past Thanksgiving and Christmas I had blonde hair with streaks of pink in it because the bleach didn't take out all the red that had been in there before, and when we got together for the family meetings literally no one blinked twice. My grandma said "It's just hair" and my aunt actually thought it was cool. Some people were a bit surprised, but if they had anything nasty to say about it they were polite and kept it to themselves.

And like, I've shared pictures of me with this hair online. My online friends think it's fantastic. Total strangers think it looks cool. I had one person on my instagram tell me I looked like an ocean goddess with this hair. I went back to those messages for a pick-me-up but still wound up in tears. Because her opinion shouldn't freaking matter, she wants me to look and talk and act like she does and I am not her, I am my own person. I will never be the dress and skirt wearing perfect little girl she wants me to be, because that's not who I am. I am the jeans and yoga pants and fandom t-shirts with crazy hair type of girl, and she can't accept that.

What gets me most, though, is that she thinks she can treat me like a child but expects me to act like an adult. No you idiot, you can't get both. Either keep treating me like a child and then have me act like one (leaving dirty dishes everywhere, not doing my own laundry, ect) or you can treat me like an adult, give me respect and be given it in return, and then have me act like an adult as well. Because I've tried for YEARS to give her respect and treat her like people say a mother should be treated by a 'grateful' child and got it thrown back in my face by her refusing to return that respect and treat me as an adult.

I just....Ugh. I can't stand her. One of these days I am not going to be here, I am going to move out and she will no longer be a part of my life. She will not know where I have gone or why, and I will have no further contact with her. Not out of revenge, though the look on her face when she realizes will be priceless I'm sure, but because she is a toxic human being who does not deserve a place in my life. And if she dares to come crawling back begging me to let her back in I will not hesitate to slam the door in her face and walk away. I'm so sick of her crap, honestly.

I must confess I am using and cheating on my boyfriend. I stole him from his wife of 17 years all the while I was sleeping with him and other men in our company. I also cheated on my deployed husband and got genital warts and when he returned I showed them to him. The best thing is I took my boyfriend's wife to court, lied under oath, submitted false evidence, impersonated her and the judge slapped her with a violent stalking injunction! I love how I can get away with anything living in Florida. I go by several different aliases. I also love how I always get what I want. I don't care how many people I hurt, it's all about me!! So, why be honest, when you can have so much more by lying & cheating????

I'm such a caring person, this world is hurting me. There's so much pain and I'm feeling it all. I don't understand how people can continue being horrible to each other. But I guess it's easier that way. Caring about others is hard, it hurts, I want to help. I hate feeling like I'm being taken for granted all the time. It's not even like people just don't appreciate what I do but they don't even observe it anymore. I know true good deeds are the ones you did without any intentions, but sometimes I do want people to notice it, or say thank you. I'd notice if somebody else did it. Am I the only one who cares anymore? because it feels like it.

I hate the fact that my best guy friend and one of my best girl friends are dating. Now I might be a bit too dramatic here but the **** they're doing is pissing me off. They see each other behind the girl's dad's back. They used me as an excuse to see each other. They know I dislike the whole thing, but they still think it's 100% ok to just cuddle right in front of me. I introduced you guys sure. But I don't want to be involved at all. The relationship I have with both of them are not the same anymore and I ******* hate it. Hell I can't go over to any of their houses anymore because if I get questioned by their parents I'll be hated by my friends... I treated them like siblings. But I don't know **** about them anymore.

I have to babysit some kids today for a relative of someone a relative of mine is dating, because a different relative is in the hospital.

I ******* HATE kids, but they have nowhere to live right now and no one else is capable of doing this today, so it's fallen to me.

I'm seriously considering drinking bleach. I /******* loathe/ children, I legitimately would rather lay down in a hornet's nest than look any longer at this at this screeching four-year-old, and I'm fatally allergic to most of the wasp family. But this one is NOTHING compared to the other kid that'll be here when school is out -- that thing can handle something for three seconds and it will be ruined. And you can't ******* keep him out of anything even if you try. He's loud and combative and I just can't stand him. I can't stand kids in general. I know 99% of the population would think I'm literally the spawn of satan for thinking that the majority of kids should be kept the **** away from the rest of the population, but I don't care. I hate kids and the fact that I'm going to be living like this for the forseeable future, like, I just can't handle it. My animals are probably going to get killed living in a house with little shitheads (I keep exotics, and I put a lot of work into their proper care, I don't have time for worthless flesh-sacks hanging around) that don't know how to behave, my chinchilla's already started pulling out his fur from the stress. Like I just want them gone. I don't care if they move, I don't care if they go to someone else, I don't actually care if they die. I just want them gone. Go on, tell me how I need to kill myself or whatever, I don't care. If you like kids, sure, congrats. But I ******* hate 'em.

I had the worst mothers day yesterday. I was looking forward to sleeping in, a nice meal (even take out would've been nice), and a thoughtful gift (okay, not even thoughtful. Flowers or a card would've been fine too). Know what I got? To get up at 6:30 in the morning to take care of our kiddo, to change all the diapers, a "scrappy" lunch (wasn't planned at all. Canned foods from our food storage), and no gifts, flowers, or cards. Hubby even had the nerve to tell me he spoils me rotten every day (sorry, but a day job is not "spoiling me". I run a business and stay home with the kids, and do literally everything else like errands and chores.)

My wife is insane! Her moods swing all over the place. We don't talk about anything good or happy anymore. We spend 1-2 hours processing our relationship everyday. I'm so sick and tired with not doing anything fun or enjoyable. I just want to be happy. Why do we have to process what everything means- just so she is reassured that everything is ok. Why can' we just HAVE a relationship, instead of an on-going play by play dissection of it!? So sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I'm just really tired, had to get it off my chest.

My dad's in terrible health and perpetually getting worse and he thinks he's dying. I can't ******* take it. I'm worried and scared to death and it's breaking me because he's the only one who's been there for me even though it seems he doesn't care about me anymore now that I'm older. I can't ******* lose him.

im so ******* pissed im so mad rn i can even think straight i think im going to puke if i see her face I WANT TO ******* MOVE OUT I HATE THIS **** FAMILY AND THE **** THINGS IT BROUGHT ME ITS NOT EVEN MY FAULT IN THE SLIGHTEST

Best friend and roommate, if I do the dishes while you are out of town and clean the apartment, that doesn't mean when I go to work that night that you get to dirty all of the dishes and leave your crap everywhere. I am not your maid. Do not think I will be here forever to clean up after you! This is almost the last straw in a long line of offenses. I love you, but you are a damn SLOB!!!

This man, Brad Inwood, will never know how much I wanted to love him, give him everything. He looked so different to me than anyone I have ever laid eyes on. In my eyes, he was a whole universe on its own. He was bigger and better than anything. Im letting you go.

My boss Kim Lembo is such a two faced liar! She has no managerial skills and has a puppet on a string named Cathy! I feel bad for anyone who gets a job at Sanofi headquarters in Bridgewater NJ and has her as a boss. She does not know how to communicate, has a split personality because what doesn't bother her today will annoy the **** out of her in a week and she'll have a problem with you. Talk about mood swings. She needs to get her Xanax refill the daily.

NO PAIN, NO GAIN. ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS, SELF.

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Some people are just better than others. Not wholly, but on some things.

One day I tried to get along with your friends, because you want a girl who gets along very well.
One day I tried to dance, because you want a girl who loves to dance.
One day I tried to study hard, because you want a girl who is smart.
One day I tried to be pretty enough, because you want a girl who turns heads.
One day I tried to lose sleep for you, because you want a girl who talks to you at 2 am.
One day I tried to be funny, because you want a girl who always makes you laugh.

I did everything, but you still chose to leave.
You went for another girl, another girl who doesn't' even try and care.
Maybe now, I should stop caring and won't even try anymore.

Maybe I'll just accept what uniqueness is. Maybe I'll just accept who I am and love myself more. Maybe I shouldn't be afraid of love, people, adventures and opportunities anymore. Maybe I should put on more effort. Maybe it's time for me to change for the better and rebuild myself. Maybe it's time to put my words into actions. Maybe it's time for me to show that I can and my power to be.

Empty. One word to describe my feeling. What did I do to deserve all of these. Why does it so hard to get what I want? Especially when everyone around me, have it. Why does it got to be so hard for me. Am I that bad? I can't have what others have. I can't do what others can. It's like I want to strive but the walls around me won't let me. What should I do now? Why can't I get what I want? Even just once. Even just a bit. Why can't I be happy? Why do I lose so much and gain so little? What I have done to deserve this.

I find it ******* amusing that I put up and listen to other people's ****. And I have so muchempathy for others when they have problems and usually their problems aren't even in the category of being an issue. but if I have a ******* problem no one ******* cares or no one listens and that is why I have to resort to this website to get it off my chest.
Anyone else like this?

Guys suck about 90% of the time. I meet this guy and he's never like anyone I've met before. Unfornately he lives very far away from me so we started texting and facetiming and he told me all of these super sweet and sincere things Like "I'll always be here for you" and "you can tell me anything". He's only person I have ever truly loved. He became a little distant for two days so I checked on him and he said he was okay and acted normal. so then one day I told him I wanted to mail him a small inexpensive gift. And he was all excited and gave me his address. 3 hours later the time we are about to FaceTime he texts "do not send anything to me" I said ''why its something small" he said "I don't want anything seriously" "I'm going to be very upset if you do" I said "please accept it I mean after all you've helped me through and i don't expect anything in return" and he said "Don't send me f****** anything!!!!!" And then all on my twitter feed him and this girl, that ironically looks a lot like me, were flirting. A lot. In raged and upset I plain up told him to not worry about facetiming because I was obviously not worth his time and because of that I told him he wasn't worth mine. Now he won't stop tweeting about me and says I'm immature. But what's immature is making a girl fall in love with you when you honestly don't give a ****. Maybe it's immature of me posting this but I gotta vent this.

I want to know if I should be concerned feeling paranoid.

So I'm seeing my friends BFs friend we all hang out together its nice.

I was alone with my guy and we were making out and he called me by my friends name. ( he said it was because she'd just left my house which is true)

Anyway we were all hanging out together a few weeks after this and she kept touching my guys hands and flirting with him and then showed this embarrassing video of me to him and when I asked her not to she proceeded to show him not once but twice, then she made a remark about how cheap the clothes I was wearing were and when she was touching his hands he called her my name... I don't understand is she trying to make me jealous or is there something going on between them

We've been friends for a while and I thought I was a part of the whole thing. A, P, and E always consider each other sisters and I really thought I was part of it now, but guess not. A made a facebook post about her 'sisters' and I wasn't included. I know it's stupid to feel like this, what does it matter? They are my only friends and I just thought I mattered. Clearly not. I'm just some person they talk to, not good enough.

I don't own a phone. Never have. I do not feel the need to stay connected. I have missed births, deaths, arguments and groceries. So pretty well the same as what I missed in the first 40 years of my life. I do not aspire to play games, use apps, or check email. I am not a rich man, but when I see the cost of a phone I have to laugh. Waste money on a communication device when I already have one hanging on my wall? mmm lets see, $1,000.00 a year or $240.00? Choices.... And that's just scratching the surface. Internet (which I do enjoy and use) But really! Another $1,000 ? And cable, well well well. 29.95 @ 12 months and that's just for basic. Like anyone actually uses basic. So the full amount for a year of phone, cable and internet is about $2,500 dollars! Or about 5% of my gross pay! All for entertainment! I think it's time for myself to re-evaluate my priorities.

I ******* hate him!

I was trying to clean, and do laundry. I asked him to watch the baby. He said no, so I put the baby in the play pen, and started laundry. The baby cried, and all he did was sit up and make faces at the baby. The crying woke up the grandpa, who took the baby. After breast feeding, I the baby too/is taking a nap, would be a perfect time to clean, except the baby is being clingy (because he is sick and has a double ear infection, the medicine is giving him the runs), I can't exactly get much done.

I was going to take out the trash. I swear it. That was the plan to clean. He just yelled at me, threw the garbage around, and slammed the door. Thanks for making me cry, thanks for being a jerk. Also, thanks for forcing me to get another bag for the rest of the garbage, I know you will complain about it too.

He is just mad, because I laughed at him. He said he popped a lung, from all the coughing he is doing. He doesn't even cover his mouth, or take anything so of course he is going to hack up a lung. All I did was laugh. Also, the baby pulled something that was on top of my bf, which hurt him, causing him to chuck it at us from on the bed.

Can't wait till he goes back to work. It's my favorite time of day. I can raise the baby the way I want, with out him complaining. His idea of parenting is giving the baby to his parents. People always talk about how good, and advanced our baby is, you know why his is so confident? It's because I put my everything into taking care of him. Even when I was going through postpartum. All he did was get mad at me for crying, even when I cry because the baby just wont be calmed down.

Feeling like I should call my dad and have him come get us even though he is in ID, and it would take probably days. I don't want to be here.

im sick of feeling this way . . . I constintly think I will be acused of something I didnt do . im so afraid even though I know im inocent . even if im not blamed for anything yet . When will this feeling go away ? I hope soon . I want it gone , NOW .

I hate my bf, it's a new feeling. Our relationship was great, until we had a baby. I love my little baby.

My boyfriend's only fatherly thing he does is work, and buy diapers. He gets home whines about not being able to take care of the baby, because he works, and is tired. He whines about having to get diapers. He sleeps for 15 hours most days. He will let the baby cry, and just ignore him. I have to do everything, because he works. Like, **** man, I would work to, if it weren't for the fact that I want my baby to have parents around. I need to get a job to pay for school that I didn't finish, because of the baby.

It's not easy taking care of the baby, I am pretty much a single parent, but I have a useless bf. Though we live with his parents, they do help, way more than he does, I still have to change most diapers.

The baby and his dad are sick right now. I wish my boyfriend would die, I am sick and tired of his whining. He isn't even taking care of his own damn body! If I broke up with him right now I wouldn't get to keep my son and take him home. I hate living here, it's the worst place to raise a baby, there is no room for him to grow, crawl, walk, or pretty much anything, it's so packed with stuff.

I just want to take a shower, or flipping brush my hair. Or, maybe do laundry, clean the room a bit, you know the **** he complains about me not doing. I am so tired, and worn out. I don't feel pretty, and I got fat as ****. He didn't even give me the gate code, so I can't actually take the baby anywhere. Whenever I try to do something the baby starts crying. He can't live his life in the play pen, and he has to have someone watching, because it's not baby friendly at all.

Can't wait to move to a bigger place, which won't be till his birth month. Maybe, I will stay with my dad this summer, and raise my baby in a nice big house, that can be baby proofed.

Oh, and my bf complains about me not wanting sex. He can't take care of the baby, but he can ****. I don't want to have sex with him, I can't stand him. I hate him, and I am pretty sure he hates me.

Hurry up summer and save me!

That feel when someone hates on your friend and you want to kick some ***

Dear Heracles Karpusi

Stop

Your replies are stupid and a waste of your time. In some cases you say you sort of understand

You don't

You're just some **** who has too much time on their hands, so you act like a retard and **** with everyone else's life


I've got some advice for you


GET A LIFE

The crimson liquid pooling out of my scarred skin was like finding solace after a long fight with your lover. My eyes widened with glee and I continued to drag the stained razor blade across my ankle, smiling maniacally as the blood trickled down my leg. Oh, how good it felt! All of my prior experiences full of despair were all but forgotten in this very moment. I felt peaceful and quite euphoric despite the tears streaming down my cheeks. Was self inflicted pain truly this wonderful? My lips widened further as I dug the tool deeper into my flesh, moaning in ecstasy as the pain blossomed amongst the whole area that was forced to endure my wrath, making me momentarily focus on nothing but the stinging bittersweet sensation. This was much better than feeling my mental wounds reopen.

I can't stand loud noises, especially yelling. A horrible feeling overcomes me whenever I hear someone's voice being raised, which sucks because I live with four other people who constantly scream and fight...

I have too many internet friends. I usually have to talk to five or more at once. It takes up my whole afternoons and with the exception of one person, I usually grow bored and frustrated. Some people become angry if I suddenly disappear or take too long to respond. I have a life too you know. I have schoolwork to do (like right now but here I am wasting time as usual). It seems like I can't make everyone happy. The worst part is, I don't even care. My emotions are gone. I rarely feel happy. I sometimes feel sad. I don't usually feel remorse. I scarce feel fear. I'm just existing, wasting my days as I perform trivial tasks, waste away as I pile on the pounds by stuffing my face or hiding in my room on my phone. I'm not living. I'm in hell. I'm usually optimistic so I feel okay but my cheerful façade has shattered today. I'm stuck.

i need to die, i need to get my disgusting presence off this earth. they'll be happy i'm gone, they'll all be happy if i die. i just can't take it anymore, i'm not worth anything, i'm a bad person and i hate myself so much. i thought i was a good person, i thought i wasn't in the wrong, i thought i was okay, i thought i could do it

but i can't and i can't stand it any longer

Having depersonalization disorder sucks. Feeling as if I'm in a dream for every second of every day... I don't like it one bit.

I don't know what gender I am. Am I a girl? I feel like it sometimes. Most of the time I'm not sure. Not a boy, not a girl, sometimes not anything, not even a non-binary gender... I confuse myself.

Whoever is stalking this page and is from the Kik group "The Buttfuck Train"...

HI

I'm a horrible person. I've lived nearly twenty years with having no admirers so now I always wish that everyone I talk to will admit their love for me, despite me having a boyfriend.

Not to mention that I have serious procrastination problems. I try to do my schoolwork early but I always seem to do it in the night the day before the test or project or assignment is due. I don't want my grades to suffer but my laziness is astounding.

Despite my life being perfect and wonderful, I can't help but feel sad sometimes. I shouldn't, others go through far worse than me, but everything bothers me. I wish I would suffer more and yet again I don't.

Do I prefer to feel the crushing loneliness I felt when I had no close friends or the exasperation due to my clingy friend? I have to help her (if I said with what we'd be here all night) so I have to text her, hours on end every day. Never mind the fact that I see her in school where she insists I hang with her and our other friend during lunch and after school. She's so selfish. I shouldn't hate her but I can't help it, these negative feelings just come and go. There's no use trying to persuade her.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so empty and annoyed. I'm dating someone but the feelings come and go. Ha, and I thought I was in love. I have such little time to complete anything. I feel like a loser at school and I hate how I look. I hate how I'm weak, I couldn't even stop myself from being sexually assaulted. I just don't know what to do anymore.

School has got me really stressed out. My friend (the one that freaking said she was considering dumping her boyfriend because he's bisexhal, wtaf?) won't leave me alone so I can work on my projects and study for tests and such. I don't know what to do anymore. It's not that that bothers me though. It's my brother. Today he told my younger brother that because he doesn't like console games that he was gay, a fag, never going to get a girl and a bunch of other crap. When I told him that was bs I got called a fag myself. Then I was punched in the face. My mom didn't punish him, as usual.

So I came out to my mom a while ago as being gay, and she told me she supports me (after she laughed because she was "surprised") and a few months ago I told her I'm genderfluid. She got angry and said I'm just trying to see how far i can push things and get away with it.

She walks into my room, hands me a pamphlet titled "why homosexual unions are not marriages" and walks out. Support me? Yeah right.

I`m 16 yrs old wanted to have a nice mother`s day. Aanndd for days-months before I told my Mom and sister something isn`t right I want to go a therapist get some meds. (that who knows might help) And I have horrible mood swings(especially angry, most of the time hurt myself so I don`t hurt them) so hey one of the reasons why I wanted to get help before today. But here I am ranting trying to keep it in and not yell at anyone. I feel really bad but I honestly cant control myself too much. I wanted to buy My Mom a gift with my money that I`ve been saving for god knows how long only for her to ask to use it and give it back through the bank. I give the ok here we arre just for what so my older to give my pissy remarks and faces. so It`s hard right now not to hurt myself (my sister decided to stay in the room yay!) so **** the guy upstairs he just has to ruin my plans so **** him **** me and **** them I`m to mentally exhausted too ******* censor and write actully good but may whoever help me ahh I have such respect to all of you who keep cool or have paitence.

I am a straight A student with divorced parents, and I sufffering from depression. I hate going back and forth between my parents, when I'd rather just stay at school. My dads house is great, except for the fact that he physically abuses me. It started with larger things like horse whips and baseball bats, but as I grew up it shifted to things like belts and hangers. Now he just seems to be using is hands, smashing my head into the wall to make me learn. I'm not allowed to have social media, other wise he will , "smash my head in." He provides me a good education and a nice house to sleep in. Most people say that I should just move to my moms house, since I'm 13 and I legally can, but my mom, to put it nicely, isnt right. When my parents broke up when I was five, my mom tried to get custody of me, but failed. In result, my dad took full custody of me, and my mom became an alcoholic. When I would go to visit her with my younger sister, i wouldn't go to school. She is no longer the mother I once saw her as. Today, she has a job and is doing a bit better, but... She does drugs. After that I tried to resort to my uncle on my moms side, until I learned that he was wanted by the cops and by a few cults. I was at his house one day and some men broke down the door and held a gun to my head. Luckily, my uncle beat the livings out of them, and the other ones who were still alive got away. So now I have no where to turn to, and on top of that I have a girlfriend that I can't tell anyone about. That is all that I will plague your minds with today.
-rant from a 13 year old girl

I am a straight A student with divorced parents, and I sufffering from depression. I hate going back and forth between my parents, when I'd rather just stay at school. My dads house is great, except for the fact that he physically abuses me. It started with larger things like horse whips and baseball bats, but as I grew up it shifted to things like belts and hangers. Now he just seems to be using is hands, smashing my head into the wall to make me learn. I'm not allowed to have social media, other wise he will , "smash my head in." He provides me a good education and a nice house to sleep in. Most people say that I should just move to my moms house, since I'm 13 and I legally can, but my mom, to put it nicely, isnt right. When my parents broke up when I was five, my mom tried to get custody of me, but failed. In result, my dad took full custody of me, and my mom became an alcoholic. When I would go to visit her with my younger sister, i wouldn't go to school. She is no longer the mother I once saw her as. Today, she has a job and is doing a bit better, but... She does drugs. After that I tried to resort to my uncle on my moms side, until I learned that he was wanted by the cops and by a few cults. I was at his house one day and some men broke down the door and held a gun to my head. Luckily, my uncle beat the livings out of them, and the other ones who were still alive got away. So now I have no where to turn to, and on top of that I have a girlfriend that I can't tell anyone about. That is all that I will plague your minds with today.
-rant from a 13 year old girl

I actually feel like killing myself. I don't have the courage and it makes me SO FRUSTRATED. And I have self-harmed before, but my stupid mother checks my wrist everyday and says," How does this reflect on me as a mother?" Shut the **** up. I have everything I need for it. Pills, alcohol, rope, blades, you name it. But I think just maybe, I'll be better. I just don't know how everything, THIS, happened.

I kindly asked my dad for some food but he just started going on about how I should stop asking for ****. Excuse me? I literally ask for nothing. Tell that to Sandra! (My sister.) Then I asked if I could make a sandwich, since that's all there was, and he told me to go to my room. I haven't eaten for 3 days.

Today I got in a fight with my dad that led to physical hitting and he started it and I replied, and the whole thing was because I had parked his car in front of the garage door and a worker was trying to get in and he spilled a can of paint on the garage floor, and he comes upstairs (my dad), and I say hi dad kindly, and he starts yelling at me like why did you park the car close to the garage door, and I say, I know, I did it cuz the other cars wanted to go around and I did it to leave place for them to do so, and I say that you should have called me to come and move the car, man! and then he again starts yelling like going louder and louder and louder and then comes at me to hit me and I was just saying hey man, come on dont make a big deal out of it you should have just called me and I'd be more than happy to do that and I say come on man, chill, not worth yelling and getting yourself in a bad mood, and then he comes at me and hits me and I didn't even hit back, although I could've kicked his guts out on the floor that little man and yet again I just dodge his hand when hitting me and then he comes to hit over and over and over and over and over again and I keep doing the same, and I just get relaxed and relaxed, though, and telling him man come down, it's nothing, don't hit me and then he grabs the knife and I go at him and he almost pisses his pants and puts the knife back in, though I could have disarmed him from his knife, he didn't have the guts to play with that thing, and then he's like get outta my face after him losing the fight and I'm cool as a cuecumber telling I don't wanna cuz I didn't do anything and telling you shouldn't yell at me man, and telling him yet again you should've called me to come move the car, and telling these are crappy arguements and I got no time for this kinda **** and going in my room. and my sisters and my mom supporting me. And I'm here talking cuz I got novody to talk to and rant to and vent to , and talking here realllllyyyyy took a weight off my shoulders. and literally the last bits of respect that I had for that man is now gone. I wish I could get a hug right now, because a little bit of me wants to cry for having this kinda dad, though I'm strong but you know...... right now I wish I had a shoulder to cry on just for once and then move on.....

don't you f-ing love when your friends don't include you in anything. BFF all in this together! One big happy group until someone or something more popular or fun comes along. "Lets the three of us go to this party that we were invited to, and not bother to tell our other really good friends that we love so much in our group!!" Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Are anyone else's best friends straight up snobs sometimes? UGH. like get over yourselves.

okay, maybe it may not be up to me, but I have to write something! I have heard too much about this stupid dress code in schools crap! The main offenders are those who wear short shorts, and yoga pants. First off, girls in high school.... do you not own a pair of pants that are not yoga, or incredibly short? Instead of complaining about the dress code did you ever stop to think that it is there for a reason? And I know what you will all say "It's there so we do not distracts boys, which is soo dumb. they should be able to control themselves!" Yes you are right that they should be able to control themselves. However that is not why you are asked by your school to dress like an adult while at school. It is meant to make you dress in a respectful manner while representing your school. You may be upset that yoga pants and short shorts are not allowed, but guess what else both boys and girls are not allowed to wear at most schools? Torn jeans, and beaters that show your shoulders. Why are these fashionable pieces of clothing not allowed?... Because they are not allowed in the work place, and they sure as hell are not allowed at school were you are learning to prepare yourself for the real world! Yoga pants and shorts (before shorts had less material than underwear to make them more sexual, which defeats the idea of girls being able to wear them at school at all) they where originally meant for athletic use! shorts and yoga pants where meant for running, and yoga pants can also be for.... wait for it.... YOGA! So if you are all complaining about not being able to wear yoga pants or short shorts, then how about I flip the tables on you? Say something that was originally meant for athletic wear became fashionable and I wanted to wear it to class. That still does NOT mean that any guy can wear his wrestler's 1zy to class! Y?! Because it does not look professional in any way shape or form! On a final note, for those of you who think it is ridiculous that guys sexualize girls in yoga pants, keep in mind that clothing designers make pairs of yoga pants that are see through.... FREEKING SEE THROUGH! yoga pants are designed to hug and cling to every curve along your legs and ***. If that does not sound like lingerie to you then you need a long talk with your parents! Also, short shorts these days have less and less fabric, but guys are wearing the same baggy pants we always have been.... except for the guys who wear those really skinny jeans.... I don't get that....
P.S. If you are a parent, and you agree with NOT turning your kids into sexual objects walking the halls of your local school..... maybe let your kids see this? Help explain why the dress code is designed that way it is? Show them what you are REQUIRED to wear to work and explain the reasoning behind it?

They're such lazy pieces of ****. I did all the ******* work for the outline, research, presentation. And you know what R--- does? Fills out the slides of info that I worked on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And she has the gall to say: "I worked on the presenation weeks ago!!!!" /open up file only 3 of 21 slides are filled.
What the **** man???? Is this how you guilt b/c it aint ******* working. And don't give me the excuse that you have work and are busy. Me too, **** head. I work part-time and go to school full time you **** ****.

I ******* hate my mother and my **** of a stepdad. I hope they both die horribly and puke in blood. I hope he chokes while he feeds on black ****.

I'm just...so numb right now...I hate this world. I hate the people, I hate when people tell me to enjoy life. I'm like "Enjoy what? Working your *** to the bone just to get enough for a bed crumb? Always worrying about ******* bills and stupid ****?" I'm sick of all of you and wished you all died. Why did God have to make us? Tch, what a ******* waste, and people are saying He doesn't exist...I hope they die too. I hate them. I hope their lives are filled with horror and they have to watch as the ones they care about die slowly and painfully. I hate everyone and I want them to die...I think i might actually have the courage to kill myself. Yeah I think I might do it. Cause this world? You got nothing for me. **** you.

I hope my manager doesn't get pissed off when I screw up. I told her she should schedule me to do something I know how to do...

**** it! I hate my life!!!! Nobody seems to give a **** about stuff that matters to me!!! I hate it!! My life's always been about conformity!!! Iy's always them first. And no matter what I do or give, it is always about them. God, I feel so sorry about me. I'm so hopeless.

Sometimes I dont even know why I moved out of state for college if people are just going to make fun of the way I say things. I know I say some words wrong ok? Sometimes my southern accent slips out and makes it weird. **** all of you. I try to cover my accent so yall dont make fun of me all the time. Some kinds of friends you are. You're supposed to be my best friend out here but today you started everything in front of the biggest ******* group of people. Thanks a ******* lot. Why was this college the one that had the best degree for what I wanted to do? I had to move from Georgia to Arizona just to get made fun of for my accent? **** this.

is karma out to get me or something..? Did I really do such bad things that this guy had to come back..? I just got out of depression. Not even a ******* WEEK and you waltz your *** in here...I just got out of trying to find people to help me, only to find NOTHING because NOBODY ******* HELPED ME...AND YOU...THE CLOSEST PERSON TO FAMILY AND THE ONLY ONE WHO IS /HIS/ FAMILY....TALKS TO ME...AFTER I TRIED SO HARD...TO CONTACT YOU...TO CONTACT ANYBODY...I FINALLY MOVED ON...SO WHY NOW..?

do you hate me so much that you want to punish me..?
Richi..?

I'm having a panic attack...I'm panicking...what do I do...what do I do...**** all of you...**** every single one of you...

Does anybody else hate when you know you like someone, but you can't admit it because the person you like makes it difficult for you?? God it hurts. I felt like we had something. Something mutual. I thought he had the same feelings I did. What I didn't know is that he went around talking to other girls. He didn't even hide it. I showed all my feelings. He saw right through me. He knew, but he didn't have the balls to tell me that he didn't feel the same way. He led me on so far and eventually broke my heart. Sad thing is, he's the only one I ever felt this way for. Until now, I still think about him everyday and wonder when he'll talk to me again. When he'll admit that what he did was wrong. I'm not even asking him to look at me the way I look at him. I just want his honesty, but seems like I'm not going to get it.

Really personal vent, but I hate being the youngest in my family. Usually being the youngest means you get all the attention and love, sometimes even favoritism. I have 3 siblings; two are half. My dad favorites the other 3 sibs and my mom favorites the second youngest, again. I literally take care of everything, yet I'm the one scolded for doing things my siblings did or didn't do. I'm the hated one. I ******* hate my life.

Everything is so unfaiiiiiiiir. Wtf lifeeee????!!!!!!!!!

I ******* hate when my girlfriend ******* guilt trips me. No matter what i do i get a ******* guilt trip. I'm just like what the **** did i even do? if you are going to guilt trip me whenever i do something then ******* leave me you stupid ******* bitch

Everyone seems to have their life put together.

Everything just seems perfect for them.

I just dont want to live this boring pathetic life anymore.

My family suck.
My life sucks.
Everything pretty much sucks.
Aassjdksksnabbabaaklaoxiucbd skalaiahabbdjjcjdnd

Life sucks!!!

God damn I hate my ex girlfriend so much I'm not even go on a use periods because she used to get one she would decide what I could and couldn't be comfortable with and after a year and a half with her she was already ******* around with other guys before the words were out of my mouth I know because she got mono after hah dumb bitch molly if you ever read this you gave bad head and the last three tines we had sex I had to fake ejaculating because you were so bad that's on you I wish your dumb rich girl attitude would get a reality check because you seem to think that you should be able to anything at any time without any consequences whatsoever **** you suck **** I love you

My parents think that im stupid but i have had straight As for the past 3 years.

I love him so much, but i know i cant be with him. I hate cliches, i hate the fact that i am now involved in such drama. I hate it. I want to be with him so much, but i know i will cause the people around me so much hurt and i just cant do it. I'd rather me be unhappy for the rest of my life then seeing those around me unhappy. I cant do this anymore. I will not be a victim of my own stupid feelings

I want to die.
But I don't have the guts.

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND.
HOW I AM CAN BE THE ENEMY IN EVERY SITUATION!

For some reason, everything is my fault.
I want to cut myself, I want to die. It would be easier.
But I know, you think I would have done it for that one reason.
But it isn't, it is for much more than you. You have nothing to do with it.
It is her. All her. I can't handle life because of her. How could someone ruin me this way.
I used to be nice and I used to care.
Now I dont.
I know every is going to turn on me. And that doesn't help.

And you!
I ******* loved you. And you did that?!
I may have not been the greatest. But I did not ignore you. That is the one thing I never did.

You did.

I ******* hate everything.

Sometimes I stand alone, wavering, pondering,
And then My eyes droop down with emptiness,
I realize my nonexistence,
Why do I live this way?

Why can't I change?
Is there anything more than a life like this?
Where is my home when I need one,
Where do my tears go when they fall,

My heart only knows loneliness,
Only pain, with no way out,
I follow this meaningless path,
but I know I have to get out,

How must one do that?
When no one cares even the slightest bit,
What happened to that temporary happiness?
Where was I again before this?

What was my purpose, my reason for existing?
Again I walk, step by step, day by day,
Not caring who passes by,
nor who says what or what one does,

Only when I can move forward, can I begin to exist

i love and miss my best friend that i knew since i was 5 but after she had a bad breakup she changed. she always go with her other friends but the thing is we have a 2 year difference meaning were not in the same year. her friends seemed to change her. i miss old friend that i dont usually argue with. everytime we talk were always fighting and it hurts because i really miss her. she always talks about herself so i cant really cooperate with her as its always focused on her. she used to be so innocent and nice. i feel like i always put her first but when it comes to me i get ****** things. i've always been the ****** thing when we used to pretend to be thing, im always the bad thing or ugly one. however im the younger one so shouldnt she care more.shes so cocky and up herself now. i really miss her. i ******* miss her old self.

I know you've got lots of big life goals, and you're achieving them, and you're married now with a house of your own. But I thought we were friends, and I thought you'd care about my "tiny" little life goals. But every time I try to tell you about something that's important to me, you just loop the conversation back around to yourself. You problems. Your joys. Your home. Your husband. Your job. Your happiness. Your life. I feel like you just use me as someone to brag at. And you actually think we're friends. You actually think that this is still a mutual friendship. Well it sure doesn't feel that way. I feel like nothing I say even grabs your attention for more than ten seconds - then you're off, comparing it to something in your own life. The most I can hope for is a brief "good for you," and then we're back to YOU. Talking about you. Supporting YOU. It hurts. It hurts like hell. You make me feel like nothing I do could ever compare to what you've done, and it's gotten to the place where I don't even bother telling you things I've done anymore. And I don't think you've even noticed. You're too busy keeping me updated on your own life to notice that you've completely eclipsed my life in the radiance of your success and happiness. I'm depressed, and struggling, and half the time I can hardly get myself out of bed. But you don't even know the half of it, because you'd never think to ask how I'm doing - or listen if I volunteered the information. I wish I could tell you all of this to your face, but the truth is that I know you're a good person. You are successful, and you are more worth discussing than I am. But if I told you how I felt, then you'd make an effort to listen to me - and things would just be contrived. I don't want some contrived CARE from you. I want the real thing. I just want you to listen to me for a minute, and not IMMEDIATELY turn it back into something about yourself. Or couldn't we just talk about other things altogether, like we used to? Books? Movies? Stuff that's not Serious Grown-Up talk about tupperware and co-workers and the kind of BORING STUPIDITY that makes me want to tear my hear out? I just...I want a friend who actually acts like a friend. And I'm beginning to realize that that will never be you - and that hurts beyond belief, because I keep trying to be that friend for you.

You can dream and never make it off the couch. You can dream and fail. Then there are those that dream and change the landscape of the universe. People like me. Today, the world changes. Its when warmth freezes. The day pigs fly. Its the day me and my people look fear in the eyes and say "mr fear, sir, you are a liar". Change doesnt come by waiting, man. Change comes by getting up and going too far. Making a path noone elae has the balls to make.If you never go too far in life, youll never go far enough. I am tired of being held back. Forced to be put in a place where I am better than everyone aound me. Have you ever felt it? The feeling where you are a diamond being put in a forced march through the rough? You are a bird with spread wings put in a hole with rats. Then today is your day. Today is the day the world changes. Start. Begin. Take the blunt knife and carve your path. Claw. Youre buried alive. Climb out and hold out your arm in the air in victory, be right back in their face, dirt and all.

You can dream and never make it off the couch. You can dream and fail. Then there are those that dream and change the landscape of the universe. People like me. Today, the world changes. Its when warmth freezes. The day pigs fly. Its the day me and my people look fear in the eyes and say "mr fear, sir, you are a liar". Change doesnt come by waiting, man. Change comes by getting up and going too far. Making a path noone elae has the balls to make.If you never go too far in life, youll never go far enough. I am tired of being held back. Forced to be put in a place where I am better than everyone aound me. Have you ever felt it? The feeling where you are a diamond being put in a forced march through the rough? You are a bird with spread wings put in a hole with rats. Then today is your day. Today is the day the world changes. Start. Begin. Take the blunt knife and carve your path. Claw. Youre buried alive. Climb out and hold out your arm in the air in victory, be right back in their face, dirt and all.

My boyfriend always gets mad at me. Last night we got into an argument and he made me feel like ****. Today I told him I have to go to my moms to visit her for Mother's Day and he got pissed at me and made me feel like a piece of **** for wanting to go see her. All I can do is say sorry now. Sorry for never doing anything right. Sorry for wanting to go visit my family every now and then. Sorry for leaving my things out. Sorry for being depressed. I'm just an emotional punching bag for him. whenever he's angry, blames me. Sad, blames me. Depressed, blames me. The only thing he doesn't blame me for is when he's happy, but as soon as his happiness goes away, my fault.

I seem to attach my existence to other people because I have no reason to live on my own. This means when I find a partner I dedicate myself to supporting them, only to be let down as noone ever seems to want me as much as I want them. So, I'm giving it one last chance with my current relationship. I'm a really good person I know I am, just noone ever wants to stick around to see that. Thus as a result I still feel the niggles of insecurity that I'll never be good enough . .

I know that this is probably small compared to other issue people have and I am well aware that I do in fact have a good life. But my mom always seems to make things harder. She gets angry at the smallest things and will than proceed to blow it up bigger than it originally was. She throws out punishments like there's a quota on them and refuses to even tell me what I did wrong. She considers arguing saying almost anything but yes, and if I tell her my opinion or how I feel than she gets insulted and acts like she does everything to help me. Which may be her intention but if I tell her that whatever she is doing is not helping than somehow that's my fault and I am the one who needs to fix something. SInce I've had my phone the time that my moms taken it away far outways the time I've actually got to use it. She treats me like I am in elementary school and assumes I will act like my 4th grade self rather than the sophomore in highschool I am now. I cant talk to anyone else in my family about this since they all just tell to ignore her and just let her do what she wants. But when she gets angry with me(and this happens quite often) she starts to rant about things that have nothing to do with what I did(the few times I know what I did) and then starts to compare me to other kids she knows or even what she see on TV. Trying to talk to her is almost impossible since she "can do no wrong" and the only one who need to change is me. She also blames me for anything my sister does say that "I taught her how to do this" and such. Which is complete Bullshit since my sister is the same age as me and has no interest in being like me. Even if I wasn't there she blames me for things that go wrong. The toilets clogged? I must've done it, even if I was at school the entire day.

Well this was just my little rant. I had never done anything like this before and it felt good to let it out. Though I feel like there may be a little more left, I'll leave it at that. Thanks to those of you that bothered to read this long rant and feel free to comment what you think.

and please excuse my language

Dog's should be ashamed of themselves for wearing fur coats.

My sisters have very, very big breasts. They're J-L cups. I'm an E-cup. I feel so bad about this. I know I'm only 14 but that doesn't help, my boobs probably won't grow anymore and I know I should be happy about this, I will miss out on soo many problem, from back ache to sagging boobs to clothes that doesn't fit and expensive bras and stuff but they're all problems I'd love to have. I feel like I've been tricked and lost something, but the things weren't ever mine. Like... I don't know. I just feel sad about this.

I never understood life...

It always confused me, saddened me, and completely changed me,
There's really no reason why i live today, was it because god saved me? Did he save me from what could've been worse than my situation? Does god care, does he mourn for me? I wish I knew and I wish I had faith in him.

But every day is the same.
At the same time, Everything is changing.
I don't know how to be outspoken, all i can really do is watch. Watch the crowd from a far distance and hope that someone would come and save me from my loneliness.
I have friends, believe me, but not ones that know my problems, my depression.
It gets worse when I feel that they will someday abandon me.

That saying tho when they say "It's more lonely being around people who make you feel alone than to be lonely by youreself"
It's true, I feel that they would look at me and judge me if they knew.
I also feel that they would worry about me, and I don't want to lay the burden of having them know I have this problem.

Some people think me being quiet means I'm mature.
Wrong, in fact the exact opposite, I have these really selfish and greedy thoughts that make me even more depressed. Maturity is not silence, I know that now.

Maturity is finally deciding to let out your feelings.

But that day for me is not today.

When will it ever be?

Nobody likes me, and the only think I want out of life is a partner to love to no end and nothing else. I'm so socially different and fucked up that I will never find what I want most, and that leaves me no reason to live. As of now, being alive, the only thing I'm doing is delaying what's bound to happen while I writhe in pain.

So I have a "friend" we were friends then moved to best friend then we moved to lovers. Then she very artfully (artfully in a master manipulater sort of way) moved me back into the best friend zone through the "your my soul mate and I can't ever loose you" and "I'm afraid that if we were actually together I might one day wake up down the road and be unhappy and say gtfo" I don't want to loose you so we can be bffs. Then invites me to spend the evening with her new boyfriend who is perfect. This all happened (the lover to best friend part)within a week. I am so hurt I can't even explain the amount of pain I'm going through. But I'm going to keep on pretending I'm fine. Why? Because I am the bestfriend now and it's not about me. #Fml

Okay so my friend has this guy friend who's been asking her out and trying to be her boyfriend lately. She's not ready for a relationship yet, and keeps turning him down. They still text constantly, though, and i like to make fun of her for that.
So, like, two minutes ago i took her phone and started tecting him. I made sure he knew it wasn't her texting him (I signed my name ;)) and I made a "your mum" joke because, you know, it was that so-lame-it's-funny joke. We were having a jolly good time at our end of the line, laughing at me. And then he texts back. And now, I am enraged.

He says that he doesn't have a mum. And I felt bad for a second. But then I realized, how should I have known that? I only know you fromm seeing you walk down the hall. Even my friend didn't know that. And it was a simple joke. I could see why you would get a little upset, but he was all like "Don't talk to me ever again" and, um, r00d.
So for the past 5 minutes I've just been going, "I don't like him."

As I was typing this, my friend and I were talking about it, and he talks about him mum as if he was still here. And just now he texted her saying, "don't ask about her I don't like to talk about her." THEN WHY THE BLOODY * WOULD YOU TALK ABOUT HER?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ugh.
Upset.
#sorrynotsorry #iknowyoulie

I'm at the end of my wits, for two hours I've been trying to find something on the internet, it's frustrating. WE wonder whats wrong with our country, it's all the lies, just to get you to there site even if it has nothing to do with want your looking for. The ones that you are, there buried so deep in with all these lairs its almost impossible to find. what happen to honesty, Morales or just the plain truth. If that isn't bad enough some one in the back ground has the news on. Does anyone know what the truth is, our kids are being hit from all sides. Their future depends on what they observe, and what they learn from actions of those that are suppose to be good influence's. I don't see how that's possible, the English language is so distorted it makes me sick. example: the word "free" these morons believe that by putting "free" in their tag line this increases their success. I for one wouldn't do business with them if they were the only ones on the planet. For example: free down loads, after you have downloaded you get the message asking you how would you like to pay. How stupid do they think we are, I guess really stupid or they wouldn't do it. It really isn't all there fault if all of us just rejected these morons they'd finally get it once, know one responded to there site. It sounds petty but when you trying to find something and it takes hours because of these morons it takes it toll. My son was trying to find a special oil he needed to help in the repairing of his dirt bike' its called "aron's deep penetrating oil" you can only imagine what came up for search hits. I was so pissed off my computer just barely survived. my son is only 11 I have every child block device possible.

The news sounds more like the jerry springer show. Everything is either Obama's fault, democrat's or the republicans. All they do any more is try to find some one to blame. Like fox news it's always a fox contributor they interview, like we're going to get a bias opinion. If you what to see what happens when you don't follow script check out what happen to BOB of the FIVE. Once again seems petty, I've been working in the same place for 18 years, just recently I've notice all this negativity, conversations used to be about family or just whats new going on in life, now it's turned to gossip, ganging up on some one for the week. there so much negativity now its hard to go to work every day. It follows what ever turmoil seems to be going in the news. I don't know the internet has me so frustrated I could literally lose my mind if I haven't already. whats funny is that in my all day search for some hardware I need to restore some antique furniture, this web site was one of those I clicked on that was supposed to be hardware supply depot, tell me this makes sense.

I wanna feel beautiful. I wanna wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and feel good for once. It sounds cliche, Im aware, but its all I really want.

I’m so lonely that I can barely stand it. I have no friends at all in real life. I’m 30 years old and never learned how to make friends. I suffer from severe social phobia so that doesn’t help either. I have surface talk with people online because my social phobia makes me terrified to even try to make a connection with someone.

I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had a girlfriend. No one knows that I am a lesbian because my mother is ******* terrifying. Yeah yeah I know “But you are 30 years old”. If you knew my mother you would understand. She put a shotgun in my face when I told her I no longer attended church. I value my life over dating.

I see people with friends and significant others all of the time and I have no idea what that feels like. How can you miss something you have never had? I had a best friend or so I thought from 11-22 years old. But she met someone and dropped me like a hot rock. Ever couple of months I will get a “Hello how are you?” from her but that is it.

I just want someone to love me and it makes me sad.

I’m a good person. I like being funny. I don’t take like too seriously. And my life revolves around making someone else smile. But people treat me like I have some disease because I am not immediately chatty and I am deemed rude and avoided.

I’m so lonely…

To be completely honest, the only reason I want to stay on this Earth is because my friends already lost so much and I don't want be in the coffin when they go their their next funeral. My best friend lost his grandfather a month ago, my other close friend lost hers a week ago, my grandma lost her pet due to a car accident, my dad just lost his dad, and my mother doesn't even know her birth parents! It's honestly a struggle because I don't want to experience any more pain nor do I want the people around me to be sad. If I could turn off my emotions I most definitely would... Then maybe everything would be easier...

im still not happy

I hate my mother, the first memory I have of her is her holding a knife up to my dad. Every day when I come home from school I feel sad and anxious too when she is going to come home. When ever someone is over she's all nice and happy, but when its just us and I do the smallest thing she freaks out. Today I freaked out over a spider and she called my fear irrational and if I ever did that again she would buy living bugs and put them in my room, I accidentally retaliated and she almost hit me, she called me a baste red and to never speak to her like that gain and that she would kick me out, that I'm not her daughter anymore and I'm a fat bastard. When she was finally done emotionally scaring me again, I went upstairs and was proud of myself for not crying this time. She also made me pick up bones and vegetables out of the bottom of the garbage that sticks. Thanks mom

Why is it so hard for humans to treat other humans with compassion? We are not born treating people like crap, we learn that as we grow up... its like if someone can't be just like you then they dont deserve respect or basic human rights but that is total bs....life would suck if everyone was exactly the same, so we need people to be different yet when we are different then we get treated like crap. I ****!ng hate the way some people are treated....kids as young as 11 are committing suicide and it breaks my heart to think someone so young is being treated so badly that they end there own F*cking life......I can't even imagine being that young and already hating the life you were born into...and then there are the people who see it happening and dont do anything to stop it...like they think if they ignore it then it will go away but it wont.....I am honestly afraid to have children because im afraid that they will be put into a society much worse than it is now and that I wont get to see my child grow to be an adult because of the words and actions of others...I dont even want to keep living with this society...

God I am pissed. There is this bitch who always tries to hang out with my friends. She's horrible and literally everyone hates her guts. Not only will she do anything for attention, but she's thirsty af. She will literally tell people she has anxiety because she liked netflix and pizza. I actually have anxiety and I find it incredibly offensive. She has no idea how bad my panic attacks are. She tells everyone that her 'attacks' are worse than mine so that she gets pity. Mental illness is not a ******* game for someone to win bitch. I wish she would stop making it seem like a fashion fad rather than a horrible burden for those of us who struggle. The only reason she sticks around is because she's dating one of my friends. We all think my friend should break up with her but she doesn't want to break up with her. She calls everyone homophobic for disliking her, but the truth is we don't give a **** if she is in a same sex relationship with a girl. We just want her to shut the hell up because she is a bad person and it has **** to do with her sexuality. She is keeping me away from my friend because she is jealous every time I talk to my friend. I have explained to her that I am straight and only interested in boys and I literally have no interest in my friend. But despite this, she is an absolutely bitch to anyone who hangs out with my friend. If my friend, who I'll just call T, hangs out with any of our other friends, This bitch, who we will call C, will make their lives hell. Not only that, but she constantly cries. She tells us that she's lonely and we don't give her enough attention. T basically ignores her because T is tired of her ***. T is afraid to break up with C because C says she will 'go of the handle' if T breaks up with her. T is a really nice person so of course she can't do it and me and my friends are ******* screwed until T gets brave and breaks up with her. She thinks that everything is about her, and it makes me sick. The reason she gets lonely is because she's such a bitch all the time and she pushes everyone away.

Okay so I had this "bestfriend" who always treated me like s h i t but I always stayed with her because that's the loyal person I was.. Anyway she decided she wanted another bestfriend to replace me and so she did and so I ignored her (but still talked to her alittle) and THEN SHE GOT MAD AT ME FOR IGNORING HER WTAF. So her new bestfriend and her had a sleepover and came to school the next day with matching hair and rings but I kind of knew that if those two had a fight, they'll never make up because they are too stubborn to say sorry. So eventually 2 weeks later they had a fight and my old "bestfriend" then started hanging out with popular people and she has become bestfriends with some of them AND TREATS THEM WAAAAAY BETTER THAN SHE HAS EVER TREATED ME LIKE FOR EXAMPLE WHEN I WAS OVER SHE WOULD NEVER TAKE SELFIES/ DO FUN ACTIVITIES WITH ME WE WOULD LITERALLY JUST SIT ON OUR PHONES AND AS SOON AS THE POPULAR PEOPLE ARE AT HERS SHE PUTS THINGS UP ON INSTAGRAM AND STUFF AND UGH ITS SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I DID SO MUCH FOR HER AND SHE JUST WAS SUCH A B I T C H BACK !!!! >:(((((((( (Sorry for the bad grammar/ spelling I'm too frustrated hahah fml)

#leavenolanalone

I'm feeling pretty depressed. I made good grades in highschool, I was a good student. But for whatever reason, I suck at college. Truthfully, I just hate it so much. I come from a single parent household, so I don't have a college fund, and I did get about $1000 from the state before I lost my scholarship. Because of this, I have to attend the local community college, which is really a joke. It's depressing. I finished my first semester and now I just don't want to go back. I was paying my tuition on my own and now that I've lost my scholarship, it's going to cost me $5000 a semester to go to community college. It just feels unfair. I have rich relatives who went to university and grad school, and here I am, just as smart, but unable to make anything out of myself. I hate that college is something that everyone expects me to do, I hate that I almost have to do it without serving tables for the rest of my life. I have no idea what I want to go for though.

I was only ever good at art. I loved it. For years, all the way back to elementary school, that's all I ever did or wanted to do, be an artist. I worked so hard at it and really surprised myself with the things that I learned to do. During my senior year of high school, I won awards and recieved a $64,000 scholarship to a nice art school. The only problem is that even with that scholarship, I still would have owed about $90000. Not to mention the fact that artists don't make that kind of money. I would never be approved for a loan of that size.

So now here I am, one year later. I nearly failed one semester of community college. I haven't made a single piece of artwork in a year. Everyone is moving on past me, and I'm just here, stuck, with no where to go. Most days I tell myself it's okay and I just try to ignore the fact that I'm drowning in my own failure, but it gets hard, and I think I've been pretty depressed for the last year. My mom moved to another state and got married, so I live with my grandparents now. They say they don't mind having me here, but even if they don't, this isn't where I want to be. It just sucks really bad to be here right now. And they all say,"Don't worry, you'll figure out what to do." but I literally have no inkling of an idea as to what I would even be good at or interested in. No one ever suggested that being an artist wasn't a viable option. Yeah I knew, but for some reason I just thought everything would work out. I thought that things would be different, and the same people who tell me that I'll "figure it out" are the same ones who said it would "work out."

I feel incredibly empty. I can't find joy in anything anymore, I barely leave the house except to work. I hate myself and the person I'm becoming. I see no way out of this and if it goes on much longer, I'll commit suicide.

You can dream and never make it off the couch. You can dream and fail. Then there are those that dream and change the landscape of the universe. People like me. Today, the world changes. Its when warmth freezes. The day pigs fly. Its the day me and my people look fear in the eyes and say "mr fear, sir, you are a liar". Change doesnt come by waiting, man. Change comes by getting up and going too far. Making a path noone elae has the balls to make.
If you never go too far in life, youll never go far enough. I am tired of being held back. Forced to be put in a plave where I am better than everyone aound me. Have you ever felt it? The feeling where you are a diamond being put in a forced march through the rough? You are a bird with spread wings put in a hole with rats. Then today is your day. Today is the day the world changes. Start. Begin. Take the blunt knife and carve your path. Claw. Youre buried alive. Climb out and hold out your arm in the air in victory, be right back in their face, dirt and all.

The only thing I'm good at is piano. And I HATE IT. All my friends are good at sports like badminton, skiing, even taekwondoe and I'm just here like a fat bitch when they ask me what my favorite sports are- swimming and dance which I'm not very good at. For swimming yes I do lifesaving but I'm a kid and my parents only bring me in the summer. For dance I'm a recreational dancer that does one class per week and it's a lyrical class I'm not flexible so I can't do any tricks. I have no motivation to try anyways. Everyone is better than me at everything. And then when I find something no one else does, the time is not right for me to go to the class and it's "too far away" for my parents to drive me there (10 mins btw) and my mom works at home barely doing anything just watching tv and surfing the Internet. She's a real estate agent meaning she is busy on the weekends and free while I'm at school. But whatever you kno. I'm never gonna be good at anything since my parents don't let me go anywhere. Stuck in my room to cry about it and rant to strangers.

asdfghg I'd curse like a sailor if I could right now. I'm so stressed it's ridiculous. This is stupid vent, and I'm stupid but- I was going, checking out (event) dresses. It's a party that's really important to my culture, and the dress is as well. And Id never imagined Id get a nice dress, or anything in general like this. I'd never imagined I could /choose/ something for myself or make myself feel special for when that day comes. but f- Ivebeen trying on dresses, but in this one store I tried one on and they wanted me to buy it (ofc) but, there were more than four people urging and urging me to buy it, and staring at me, and then they mentioned how indecisive I was, but I don't like the dress fckdcf . My mother ended up paying for it/buying it, but I don't want it! It's not mine, it's not /me/! It's not what I wanted. .. I feel so whiny, but, I'm so used to just doing what people tell me all the time, no questions, and letting people have their way, and I should be happy someone chose a dress for me. But I cant be. No matter how hard I try to tell myself it's okay, others like it, it's for them, I cant. Im not happy. I wanted to choose something for once, I wanted to have something go my way, to have a dress of my dreams, and the theme I wanted, and etc etc, but.. It's not going that way. I shouldnt be surprised at all. Idon't even want a celebration anymore. Just let me obey my elders and get on with this zsdfg life
Everyone was staring..pushing.. I became so nervous, I am so nervous. I wanted to cry, and just get away, but dandccvkcij I couldnt. away with me, I fcking suck.

Jesus christ so many people (mostly Filipinos) are so butt hurt about Pacquiao losing. Get the **** over it. I'm no Mayweather fan but a loss is a loss. They make so many excuses. Pacman had an injury, there was a spy. Excuses. The worst is that Pacquiao himself makes excuses. God. There is nothing uglier than a sore loser. Man up and accept your loss. His spiel after the fight was absolutely shameful. He 'thinks' he won? Mayweather didn't do anything? No, Manny. That's not for you to decide. And if he has no inkling how boxing is scored after all this time then he deserves to lose. The only thing on the news these days is pacman fans maligning Mayweather. Who gives a ****. Pacman lost and that's all there is to it. Filipinos feel so entitled to everything. They can't ever accept that one of their own countrymen can lose in international competitions. They'll always say they were cheated or something. Get off your damn high horses. At least Pacman is a good guy, they'll say. We'll you're not for being a 'good guy' in the ring. Pacman got too cocky, and so did most of his fan base so they've got no business throwing stones at other people.

Sometimes I really wish I could just rip out my sisters throat out. Yeah I get it, "she's my sister, I shouldn't hate my own family" blah blah blah. But honestly ? I don't give two shits about it. She does whatever she wants, she a selfish bitch who constantly goes on and on about how great she is and how I owe her cause she cooks sometimes. Apparently, if u cook 1 or 2 times a week, u get to be queen. Not just that tho, she is really harsh with her words, she never considers other peoples feelings or how her words or actions can affect others. For example , today she and my mom went grocery shopping and when they came home I helped unpack. I saw these chocolate rolls and was gonna take one when she grabbed it out of my hand and was like " that's mine! Screw you!" I'm just like... K then... Honestly if u don't want to share, that's fine. But is it necessary for you to be violent and hostile? See when she does things like this to me, my parents entirely ignore it but if I try to do the same thing back, I'd get ganged up by everyone and ridiculed - tho I never do that, cause I'm not the type to be so bluntly rude towards people for ever little thing. It makes me feel like a total bitch so I use other means, like this. An online ranting thing so I can cool down.

I wish I could be more of myself. I wish that I didn't have to feel so stressed and anxious all this time. I know what I must do. I must stop procrastinating. I need to do things for myself more. I need to get less distracted. Most of all, get off the internet and waste my time. When I don't try to help myself, I feel like I am disrespecting myself.
And what else? To me, I desire to be an interesting person, but that's something that you naturally become when you're more genuine with yourself and are inspired by the things around you. That is something I lack, because though I can feel strong emotions, there's something holding me back. My concentration...my focus....my ability to calm the hell down. I want to have somebody who will understand my pursuit, who will add to my ideas, and who will find humor in similar things that I do. I want to be able to freely express myself with people rather than nervously laugh or find the cues in order to get by. I want to observe and also get along. I want to feel wanted, and at the same time, without boundaries.

There are a lot of opportunities I'm going for, but you know what? I just feel dread and that sensation reality where I am living and dying at the same time. I don't feel like I have myself understood. I don't wish to die, I want to have meaning and purpose. I don't want people controlling what I do or feel ill-prepared for the challenges that come my way. It makes me feel like a failure. There is not a problem with failing. The only problem is when you fail when you really could've succeeded. You knew how to, but you didn't. That's what irks me the most. My body won't listen to me, and now my mind won't listen to me. I demand too much, and my mind and body don't want to even get up in the morning.

I have a U.S. History project. I have a research board project. There's also three essays, a book, and pleasure reading. There is a driver's test. There is so much stacking up, yet what have I been doing? Trying to draw in order to improve, when I can only create scribbles because I'm worried about everything else that goes on in this world.
I hate it. There's this sensation in my brain that wants to just see everything at every angle. It feels as if it can just suddenly break free from it all and retain the information of the ages. I ask myself "Is it okay to have such a superiority? Something that is not superficial at all?" I feel this cloudiness and fog that goes over my vision. I feel as if my brain vomits. Memories recede so quickly, and aggressiveness doesn't help in frustration.

I am so sick of my mom's crap. We're estranged from each other. She hates my guts. But somehow, despite being across the country from me, she can still ruin my life. My financial aid hinges on her. She's still claiming me on taxes despite the fact that she's never provided so much as a penny for my education. I'm a legal adult. When I filed my taxes this year, I was hoping to pay off a few medical bills and maybe take my partner out to dinner. But no. She claimed me on taxes. And now she's going on a cruise. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to pay off all the doctor bills I've been getting. She's taking my sisters to Disney World, she's living with a man who's basically her sugar daddy. She used to claim my child support even after I turned 18 (it runs out when I'm 21) so she could afford her massage classes and hair dye. She has my SSN. I want to change it. I'm tired of her trying to ruin my life from three thousand miles away.

So i have a teacher in my school who i think hates me. She just gives us material to read in from our textbooks while she just sits there and expects us to immediately grasp the topic without explanation beforehand. She gives us 15 minutes to read and understand the topic and write it down within that 15 minutes then for the rest of the period she gives us a past paper question (papers to prepare us for O levels) to do within the next 20 minutes of the period based on the topic. During the first 15 minutes we arent allowed to talk to one another so when i ask one of my friends to explain something that i dont quite understand she literally tells us to "shut up, no talking". So i ask my teacher to explain it to me but she responds with "it's right in the textbook". After the 15 minutes is up and she gives us the ppq i leave out some of the questions since i obviously didnt understand the topic. So for the rest of the period where we spend corecting the papers she gets mad at me for not being able to "catch up" with the class who is also falling way behind in their grades. It's ironic because she thinks im the stupidest student in the class when in the rest of my subjects i make 85+ except for hers which i havent passed. At first I thought I was just being a moody teenager and I tried to get along and understand her reasons but i simply can't. I feel like she's purposely trying to embarrass me because the last class we had she called out my mark for a coursework assignment saying i failed (everyone in the class except two persons did) and i honestly felt like crying. I thought I was the only person who thought so until the rest of my classmates asked "why does she always pick on you to answer questions we don't know" I feel like dropping the class but i want to do it for exams and i cant drop the class and do it as another subject outside of school. I would go on about how I asked the rest of teachers about her and they said she's 'stuck up' but i think i should end my rant here

To begin this ****** day, I woke up to my eyes being swollen from allergies and my face broken out again. I hate most of the people in my school because its all a clique. I am a junior starting junior year at a school where everyone has been together sense kindergarten. My self esteem issues are ****** and my ex turned out to be gay and cheated on me with many males and not to mention hes back in my home town so now if i see him ill be so mad. (total backstory) I hate my body and I need to get laid.

I wish that I could depend on my parents to be there for me but, I can't. My mom has never been on my side and it would be nice if she could be on it for once. Everything wrong that happens to me is my fault to her. It can never be because of what someone else did or, heaven forbid, HER fault in any possible way. She's the one who catalyzed my anxiety (both general and social) and my "sad" times (I don't want to say depression because I haven't been diagnosed with it). She ruins every good day that I have with her unnecessary temper tantrums and insults (she has called me worthless and ****** on numerous occasions. I wish I didn't care when she calls me that but, unfortunately, I do. My father constantly tells me to call him but when I do, he literally only contributes two worded responses. When I ask for money, because I genuinely need it and I only need to ask him for it at least once every eight months, he screams that I only call him for money and that I don't call enough. Did you ever think that maybe I would feel more inclined to call you if you would give me more than an "Ok" or "That's good" to everything that I tell you and, I don't know, start an actual conversation? Constantly aggravating me to call you and call you is not going to make me want to. The both of them not only aggravate me but they also make me want to give up on life entirely. The only person who makes me feel at least somewhat happy is my dog. I genuinely believe that I will never be truly happy ever again.

All of my friends are assholes. I dont ask for much, i really dont. Im easy going and im friendly. I think that why my friends think that they can do whatever they want to me and ill be ok. Well thats not the case im actually really sensitive and i act brave and confident because i dont want people to think im weak. Im just so done. All i wnat is for them to care about me as much as i care about them, but i know they dont. They all have their new friends now and they dont care what happens to me. All I am to them is the past, a distant memory. When they see me the think of all the horrible things that happened to them that i helped them through and they dont want to go back there. Why would they? I just remind them of their past self. The only time i even come up as an option is if their new friends are unavailable and then all of the sudden i become the best option... the only option. Im just tired of being treated bad i know im worth more, i want to believe that im worth more.

I am so pissed, and stressed it's ******* stupid.
My best friend die'd this Saturday that's just been, I have exams right around the goddamn corner, and I've managed to fall in love with my best friend, who I know I can never be with. I honestly can't ******* deal with this and i feel like I might **** up so soon. I have no idea what to do with myself, I'm a mess, I keep breaking down and crying all the ******* time and I can't ******* deal with this bullshit anymore

No you are not "moving to Australia" because they will only let you stay for 2 years and then kick you the hell out because YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SKILLS! Australia is the hardest place to get a visa for and you WORK IN A SHOP! Please do some research before you go on Facebook all fancy pants about moving to Aus because England is apparently so shite! And ffs don't say it's because of politics because Aus are the biggest conservatives out there and wont let hardly anyone in (hence the shock you are going to get!) Hell if you were a doctor or a scientist you'd walk right in there but you are not! DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! Oh and last time I checked you were broke as **** so yeah better get saving for that plane ticket/apartment/general ability to live

The three women I have most recently fallen in love with can never be mine.

One has a boyfriend and said if they break up she's going back to women exclusively.

The second hasn't had a boyfriend in years and is in a relationship with another woman.

The third doesn't want to have any type of long distance relationship.

It breaks my heart I will be alone for all of time.

You know what? I don't know.... I still want to be here for you. I still sometimes want to see if I can improve. Sometimes.

Thanks for the Birthday Cake. I never thought you guys would EVER think of me... even when we were friends I don't think I was ever really there. So thanks.

I hate the new house. I hate the new life. I hate the new everything. I'm nowhere near what I was before (i would say no where near important, but i've never been important. Its on that line though)........

I never do anything anymore, i could die right now and no one would even notice. I don't even know why I live sometimes. No one wants me.

I don't know who to trust anymore.
All my life I have been thinking that life will be alright and fine, but I think I just got proved wrong these few days. I have this clique which I always hang out with, and it's great being with them! However, a few days ago, when I wasn't aware, someone got insanely jealous because of what half of this clique did (excluding me). From what I've heard and seen, she's jealous because of that certain half hanging out with two other girls. Let's call the jealous girl Annie and the two girls that they hung out with Gemma and Ellie, to protect their identity. My best friend in this clique, whom I shall call Anais, told us that she got insanely jealous due to this and decided to vent out her feelings about Annie. Anais had felt that Annie had been pressuring her and the clique a little too much; or rather, for two years, and was utterly destroyed when she struck two and two together. Being the person who hates fights and all, I wanted to solve this problem, making me more stressed. As a few days passed by, I found out that the half of the clique, whom I shall call Emma, Anne and Ella separately, had some gambling (not physically) problems with Annie, thus making Emma kick her out. Emma then decided to add Gemma and Ellie into the clique, which made me utterly confused. Being the innocent one, I decided to find out what was happening, before it dawned on me to know that we aren't so united with Annie anymore.
Annie had somehow found a new clique, probably asking someone from there, whom I shall call Leni (so many people involved tho) to talk to us, settle things out. However, I think that Leni could have thought differently, as she attacked my friends with vulgars, making me even more of a wreck than I was previously in my entire life.

Now here's the problems:
1. I was extremely heartbroken to find out that I was left out on problems again, as I had reminded them to tell me their problems ASAP as I had some experience being on the anxiety side.
2. I was dumbfounded to know that I had been literally tossed aside in this whole entire thing, with no one telling me anything until the last minute.
3. I was extremely mortified to know that this Leni person attacked my friends, calling them 'dogs' and what-not.

I felt that all hope to make this better had been sucked and drained out into the abyss of depression, making me seemingly worse in everything I do. For me, the solution is to actually get it out of my head, but I find it impossible if I recieve regular updates on it and it gets glued to my mind rather easily. I also don't want to be seen as a fragile person I am, making me break down and what-not, as I find that rather unsettling of me.

Nevertheless, I need to find other solutions to either calm me or them down, or to stop the ongoing argument. Punching walls and wild thoughts of almost cutting myself don't seem quite well; to me, at least. What can I do about this?

I so want my free loading brother and his very nice, she really should leave him, girlfriend to go live elsewhere. Any given day all this jackass does is complain and leave a mess in his wake. I can't help it if I don't eat his cooking. That s*** stinks like rotten garbage. How do you in dirty pot. It's not flavoring. He has a job and still won't pay a bill. He wants to save up. Yet he shops. I am missing something. You get a dig for me when I have cats and you want me to take care if the dog. Why you don't even give the cats fresh water. You leave wet clothes in the washer as if you want that moldy smell they produce. You called me fat. Did you look in the mirror and see that belly attached. Stop complaining about the home repairs that I do. I at least did them. Asking him to paint a wall is like asking him to push a bill through congress. He gas stuff all over the house, well did. Each time I ask for stuff to be moved, days later I just toss it in the garbage. Works out well for me. I enjoyed living on my own in a clean apartment, now there is just junk everywhere. I feel like a episode of Hoarders. I want to walk around my apt naked again. They do.

No no no you don’t under ******* stand. Im not telling you because I don’t want to tell you. Who the **** are you to tell me that you need my ******* secrets. No **** you. Im not telling you because we’re (kinda) friends. **** you. No. There is no such ******* thing as (kinda) friend. Do you ******* know why? A friend is someone that you have an emotional and mental attachment with. DO YOU ******* UNDERSTAND THAT? It’s either we’re friends or we’re not- and frankly, if you can ******* say that we’re (kinda) friends to my ******* face, then we’re not friends, dumbass. Make up your own gosh damn mind you piece of ****. You think you can ******* fake a friendship for the sake of gaining my gosh ******* secrets???? What the **** are you trying to gain you *******? An advantage? Some kind of leverage? Do you want to bring me down you heartless ******? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

... So. that was weird. I've always thought about it, but today I actually did it. Not as satisfying as i thought, not as messy and not as loud. I don't know whether to feel different or the same. I pretty much feel the same. I guess its not too much of a big deal then is it? Heh. Well now i know. Maybe desensitizing myself to it is a good idea, maybe i shouldn't think of it as such a bad thing anymore. Really I don't know what else i was expecting.

I'm going to be honest here you know what makes me happy is music and Best friends and by BEST FRIENDS I mean friends that don't SNITCH on BEST FRIENDS or tell ******* teachers like a ******* 2 year old grow some balls goddamn it your ignoring me for to long its getting ******* stupid you either talk to me except my god damn apology or be a STUPID BITCH and keep being a 2 year old and never grow the **** up and be a goddamn adult about this you cant do this for ever then you'll be an old bitch and still be ******* pissed stop hold a damn grudge and speak unless you cant cause you don't have the ******* balls to

******* hell my ******* girlfriend is a ******* bitch who always turns around the ******* problems in our relationship. Today we were play tickling and then she ******* punched me in the ******* face, didn't say sorry, then ******* acted all ******* sad to me. Just so I'd give her ******* attention. Go **** yourself bitch. She cuts, I was sad because of it but now I'm turning emotionless against it. Her old boyfriend is a very close friend of mine and now I understand why he doesn't care if she cuts. Its purely for ******* attention. If I say I can't ******* hangout one ******* day then I find out later that night she cut. Because she ******* feels lonely. Holy ****, if you can be without someone in your presence for two ******* seconds then go die. I'm so ******* pissed. I wanna just ******* break up with her but she'll do exactly what she did to her old boyfriend. Threaten to kill herself. My friend is physically and mentally fucked up because of her. What a great friend for warning me about all of this. My life is slowly deteriorating in front of my eyes. She's the only ******* anger in my life. She brings me up but at the same time brings me ******* down so ******* hard. I want to die sometimes because of her. Like now, I wish I was accidentally shot or I wish a car hit me as a drunk car accident. ****, my life. I'm skyping with her now and she cut because I was a "little" mad at her. I'm gonna kill myself one of these days ******* **** my life.

So I have this friend I wish I could strangle because I'm overall done with her bull****. You think that having siblings puts more pressure on you well that's a lie because I'm an only child and if I become a disappointment then my parents have to live with it but with siblings if you fail then they just expect your siblings to do better. So go **** yourself because I'm done with her crap like go away. Oh and thank you for running in all that stuff you manage to do better than me because that doesn't make me feel bad or anything. Bye bye ***** I'm done with you and everything you ever said.

I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! WHY DO YOU LIE TO ME?? I WISH I COULD KILL YOU.
Why do you still lie about everything! We've been through this before....remember, when you were on drugs for 4 years and ruined everything. Your'e a ******* two faced slut who will sleep with anyone that will potentially get roof over your broke head. You lie strait to my face and tell me that your not with him but guess what BITCH i read through your phone and all your iloveyou texts to him and this other ******* loser. messing with two guys huh? i swear to god if you live with one of them and try to take me with you i will run away. i'll run so far away you'll never see me again. not like you would even care considering i always hear you talking **** about me to your boyfriends. your so self centered it's DISGUSTING. I have no one but myself and i wish i was dead but you don't care.

I am not in love anymore with anyone and it's a weird feeling. I don't love:

my family of origin,
anyone I am friends with,
my ex-husband,
or anyone else.

I tend to feel loving feelings towards animals and kids more than adults, ever.

A part of me is scared that I won't ever care about other people anymore. What if i I just stay in this kind of detached, indifferent state? Will I be able to enjoy life without love anymore?

The motivation to meet new people and establish relationships is dwindling too.

Internet psychologists, what is wrong with me? Pray tell.

Oh, okay. So this Christian church promises promotion of peace and equality via the word of God, then places tons of emphasis on the bible's rejection of homosexuality. Never before has hypocrisy reached this level. What the hell did we do? We're not straight, so what, does the bible say to disturb the well being of others just because some book from centuries ago doesn't like them? Yeah, exactly, it doesn't, so shut the **** up and quit lying about your unexceptional tolerance of others. How hard is it to flick away less than 10 verses of a book with, like, 30,000 of them anyway...

I totally binged today.

I ate: an omelet for breakfast with fruit and coffee and water
then i went and had happy hour: 2 mac n jacks AND nachos
then i had a starbucks passion tea lemonade
then i went to another coffee house and i had a peach scone and a white chocolate mocha

i've eaten so much BS today that my stomach hurts.

**** you Interblocks! Your software solution sucks like mad. Go back to Sri Lanka and play cricket instead!

I'm in love with a boy that has exactly what I look for!! He loved me but one day decided he didn't anymore. How do I make these horrible feelings go away!! why doesn't he understand that. what did I do. why doesn't he love me anymore. I miss him.

Wow what a dream one of those you almost don't want to awake from. The ones that are full of adventures and crazy scenarios that cannot exist. The dream that shows your deepest moments your greatest desires. And please explain that house! When it is day time the greatest things occur, surprises that don't exist. I can't say if it was real or if I was going crazy but I cannot help but to think that I got one last hug one last chance to do crazy things. Maybe it was just one last adventure that is so real that i feel like I can let the subject rest just a little sounder. I miss her so much we all do. It ******* blows that there is nothing we can do. As the day passes it becomes more vague. Maybe it's suppose to be left at that and I can't remember everything she says. That's okay I remember the sisterly love the last chance to say goodbye. I somehow know the future holds adventures for the rest and we will be happy and at our best. I feel like you will be there when the time is right and otherwise we know your out the carrying those who find it harder to go on without you in their lives. I will always love you and I will always hope that at the end of the day your happier where you are know instead of this bs we deal with in this life.

Oh honey!! You can stop bitching now!!! I'm sure your friend just loves that you call her just so you can bitch about the one person at your job that pisses you off. I'm glad that you learned quick that I don't like to listen to your bitching. If you have a problem with someone at work, deal with them at work and leave it at work. Do not bring it home with you. I don't. Don't worry. I'll be gone soon enough.

P.S. Weren't you supposed to talk to someone about you anger issues?

So, I had saved money to buy Gerard Way tickets. I bought them a few months ago with my own money for his show on May 19th. And today, after watching a story on the news about how some panhandlers do not really need the money, my dad asked "So, do you still want to give them money, and I said yes. He promptly yelled at me for having an an "attitude", grabbed my tickets off of the counter (where I had been told to put them) and he ripped them in half. My parents refuse to buy me new tickets or give me my money back. I don't think I've stopped crying for at least three hours

I'm transgender. And it's like the only thing people give a **** about, when you're trans, is what the hell's in your pants. Unless you're sleeping with me or you're my doctor it really shouldn't ******* matter. But no. Everyone, even other trans people, ******* ask me "oh how far along are you", "oh what's in your pants?"

I could cure cancer. I could ******* build a rocket to hit up the moon. But so long as people know I'm trans, they want to know what parts I have. Sure, I get that people are curious. But is that all people are interested in? I'm more than my parts. But with how other people carry on about it they care more about your parts than you do.

No, you want to know what's in my pants? Then you better be prepared for me to ask you the same damn thing. Oh, it's awkward and uncomfortable for you? Well, gee, how do you think I feel? I'm supposed to be okay with weird and ******* stupid questions because you're curious but the moment the tables are turned it's awkward?

If you'd put the same energy into wondering what's in some trans person's pants into getting your life together, you'd be made.

I am a dancer. I and my friends are dancers as well. In fact, we are the most advanced dancers in our class. In reward, my dance teacher gave us scholarships to take Tuesday classes after school with professional dancers. PROFESSIONAL! This was huge! So very Tuesday after school, my three friends, minus me, go and get food. I say minus me because my mom doesn't have the cash to ive me every week for the classes, as my friends do.
So every Tuesday, my friends get whatever food they want from the neighborhood of the school. I wait patiently for my mother to come at five o'clock to bring me my food. I don't ask for my freinds' food and I don't eat it. Of course unless they offer! So my friends eat, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then when it's my turn to eat, my food suddenly looks like a five star meal! Everyone wants some! Why?
Recently, I went to another class. My friend, she has been complaining ALL day about how she's not in a "dancing mood". So we were waiting in the front of the school until the time came to enter the class. When it was getting close to that time, one friend, that was sick and unable to dance, was perssuring me not to come. Of course I said no because I want to dance. Although the two other dancers were all in for the non-dancing fun.
The friend that was complaining all day, she walked up to me as I was heading toward the class. She said to me was I going to jude her for not going to this class. I responded with no.
The next day, I was showing her combonations from the pervious class, and she sai it looked like fun. I told her yes, it was, while you were out doing whatever you were doing. She then got angry with me.
This just oes to show taht she isnt a true dancer. I'm not in a dancing mood everyday, but do I skip class? No. Yes, it was only one class she skipped, but one bad habit can turn into millions. SO unperfessional.

I have incredibly crippling social anxiety and depression and haven't been able to get and keep a job in years. Been living with my mother during this time, trying to find a job and trying to do freelance things to get extra money with little luck but honestly not that bothered by it because my fear of having a panic attack or being triggered while in an uncomfortable new place is so high. I also don't have a car or valid driver's license and most places that would hire me at either too far away or are largely customer service. I've been in customer service work, and it stressed me out so much that I had panic attacks nearly every day. My family at large is incredibly resentful of me for my lack of a job and the entire situation has just gotten worse over time. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be kicked out soon. I recently, as in about six months ago, began going out with this quite amazing man and we've actually been contemplating getting married in a year or so if things last. Even children were mentioned. I haven't told anyone, save a few close friends, how serious it's gotten. I don't think my family would approve of, well, not him but me. It's my 21st birthday today and I feel awful that I'm hurt that all I received were well wishes from a few close friends and some estranged relatives and something of a joking demand from my mother that I get a job for my birthday. Hopefully boyfriend's flowers will be delivered tomorrow as they're supposed to. Sorry for the disjointed, convoluted read. Needed to get this out.

Sometimes I just want to lather myself in soil and be a carrot

Yesterday, my boyfriend offered me half of a cookie with weed in it. I took it and ate it. I got so high and I was supposed to pick up his friend from the airport. I said, "Sorry babe, but I can't drive you car, nor can you and we aren't picking up your friend. We're getting a cab and going home." He gets all POed because I put his friend out. The thing is that I don't want to crash my car that I rely on. And i know if I did, my boyfriend would not buy me a new car.

So, he is like, "OK, i'm going to go ask if someone can call us a cab." he goes into the bar and calls me in. The people in there can tell I'm on something and my boyfriend is getting the cold shoulder from them, as if he kidnapped me or something. I didn't realize it or what was going on so I was just quiet the whole time, and he ended up almost getting into a fight and getting kicked out.

I stayed in the restaurant because I was scared/confused and didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell who was in the right and who was in the wrong. All i could think about was getting home safely.

My boyfriend was really upset I didn't leave with him when he got kicked out but the way I see it, we needed to try and stay safe -not together necessarily. We ended up both at the house and safe. I took a cab home and he did too.

I won't be getting stoned ever again. This was really dumb.

C ya

I've been with this guy for around a year and a half now. Frankly It's been a total mess yet i'm still terribly and deeply in love with him, even though things are majorly rocky with him. I didn't find out he had a son or was going through a divorce till we'd been together for about 4 months. When I first found out I new it would be difficult and that didn't bother me. However here we are a year later he's still going through this divorce (hasn't talked to his lawyer in months), and honestly the last remaining things could quickly be handled by a mediator. He doesn't even want to bring that up to his ex though because he doesn't want to piss her off because he's afraid she won't let him see their child. So I get that. sort of.... And to top it off it's now reached the point to where I haven't spent more than two minutes with him in the past two weeks because he feels i'm just like his ex because of one thing I said, didn't know a statement on something made me someone else, and he also doesn't love me anymore even though three weeks ago he was asking me to move in or at least bring a few outfits over to keep there instead of constantly toting a bag back and forth. Guess I should've seen it coming when he went from asking me if I was ready to meet his son one day to telling me that I would never get to meet his son the next. I honestly still believe he's caught up on his ex, and I know they have a kid together but this is more. Like I don't think he should care about what shampoo she's using now-a-days. It's just all a bunch of bull ****, and I can't talk to him about any of it without him blowing up on me.
I honestly don't know what to do because I do still love him, the thought of not being with him makes me sick, I can't even go out with my friends (because they are mostly guys) without feeling sick. However I know he doesn't feel the same way. Honestly this mess has thrown me into so many panic attacks I've lost count and i'm almost out of sedatives that were supposed to be enough for three months.... Just lost, pissed, and confused

I've been with this guy for around a year & a half. & It's been a total mess yet i'm still terribly and deeply in love with him, even though things are majorly rocky with him. I didn't find out he had a son or was going through a divorce till we'd been together for about 4 months. When I first found out I new it would be difficult & that didn't bother me. However here we are a year later he's still going through this divorce (hasn't talked to his lawyer in months), and honestly the last remaining things could quickly be handled by a mediator. He doesn't even want to bring that up to his ex though because he doesn't want to piss her off because he's afraid she won't let him see their child. So I get that. sort of.... & to top it off it's now reached the point to where I haven't spent more than two minutes with him in the past two weeks because he feels i'm just like his ex because of one thing I said, didn't know a statement on something made me someone else, & he also doesn't love me anymore even though three weeks ago he was asking me to move in or at least bring a few outfits over to keep there instead of constantly toting a bag back & forth. Guess I should've seen it coming when he went from asking me if I was ready to meet his son one day to telling me that I would never get to meet his son the next. I honestly still believe he's caught up on his ex, & I know they have a kid together but this is more. Like I don't think he should care about what shampoo she's using now-a-days. It's just all a bunch of bull ****, and I can't talk to him about any of it without him blowing up on me.
I honestly don't know what to do because I do still love him, the thought of not being with him makes me sick, I can't even go out with my friends (because they are mostly guys) without feeling sick. However I know he doesn't feel the same way. Honestly this mess has thrown me into so many panic attacks I've lost count and i'm almost out of sedatives that were supposed to be enough for three months.... Just lost, pissed, & confused

I've been with this guy for around a year & a half. & It's been a total mess yet i'm still terribly and deeply in love with him, even though things are majorly rocky with him. I didn't find out he had a son or was going through a divorce till we'd been together for about 4 months. When I first found out I new it would be difficult & that didn't bother me. However here we are a year later he's still going through this divorce (hasn't talked to his lawyer in months), and honestly the last remaining things could quickly be handled by a mediator. He doesn't even want to bring that up to his ex though because he doesn't want to piss her off because he's afraid she won't let him see their child. So I get that. sort of.... & to top it off it's now reached the point to where I haven't spent more than two minutes with him in the past two weeks because he feels i'm just like his ex because of one thing I said, didn't know a statement on something made me someone else, & he also doesn't love me anymore even though three weeks ago he was asking me to move in or at least bring a few outfits over to keep there instead of constantly toting a bag back & forth. Guess I should've seen it coming when he went from asking me if I was ready to meet his son one day to telling me that I would never get to meet his son the next. I honestly still believe he's caught up on his ex, & I know they have a kid together but this is more. Like I don't think he should care about what shampoo she's using now-a-days. It's just all a bunch of bull ****, and I can't talk to him about any of it without him blowing up on me.
I honestly don't know what to do because I do still love him, the thought of not being with him makes me sick, I can't even go out with my friends (because they are mostly guys) without feeling sick. However I know he doesn't feel the same way. Honestly this mess has thrown me into so many panic attacks I've lost count and i'm almost out of sedatives that were supposed to be enough for three months.... Just lost, pissed, & confused.

I was just going through a fear factor video and saw Simon Cowell Just being mean to people I get it may be for the show and all but I don't think this is something you should be putting out into the world. I am both mad and worried for him I'm afraid he may get killed one day or really badly hurt.

First post: "Everyone say a prayer and send your well wishes to a family member of mine having surgery Tuesday. A simple 'like' will do. Never a bad thing to show a little love."

Second post: "Good news ... Surgery was successful on my family member! Now the LONG healing process... Thanks to everyone who said a little prayer, sent a 'like' in support, sent a well wish."

So I guess like's = love... got it.
The other thing is I'm supposed to "like" his post to help some unknown family member feel better?
another thing - who the F do I pray for?
Should praying and wishing go together? I guess it's the same thing but maybe they just wanted to cover all the bases.
I hate every post from this person but it's the only thing I really find interesting on FB. Yes, I said FB get over it!!

if you're seeing this and you're sad, http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net :) the internet isn't a terrible place sometimes <3

I don't know how to feel right now. Sad? Probably. Happy? I don't know. Angry? Maybe. I have no clue. When the world ends and we all die, all these emotions won't matter. If I feel happy, it'll be over in a day or two. If I'm sad, I'm pretty sure I'll be laughing at some joke later. It really won't matter.

When the world ends, nothing will matter.

hi

Ever been on Reddit? Only spent about 5-10 minutes there and I already want some superpower that would enable me to reach through the screen and strangle every single f*cking idiot on the other end. One simple post about what someone's grandmother got her for Christmas turned into talk about raping 15 year old girls and making fun of people with debilitating conditions. Holy sh*t, you people are disgusting. "Oh, you must be new to the internet!" Only been hearing that for a thousand years. Time to get some new material, kids. I know you stupid inexperienced teenagers/college students don't have jobs and still have all the free time in the world to surf "teh interwebz" and talk about crap you know nothing about, but the fact is that life will eventually happen. I know you think you have a promising career as an online comedian because every easily entertained f*cktard will award you lots of karma for your so-called "witty" posts, but karma will not get you a job outside of a small business lawn care or maid service run by Mexicans.

For the love of f*ck, get off the school library's computer and do your damn homework.

wherever 5sos go, the sound of millions of flappy fangirls aren't too far behind. and, although they (both the band and the fan base) claim for them to be a pop punk or pop rock band, it is a boy band.
definition of boy band: a band, consisting of boys, aimed toward tween or teen girls with songs about love.
5sos: a boy band with guitars.
yeah.
sure, they do write their own music, and sure, they are (though I hate to admit it) pretty talented with instruments, but that still doesn't determine them as a boy band or not.
now, if you look at photos of them and their fans, you will notice that the very very large majority of them are tween-teenage crying girls, and the small portion of males are either a) a dad or b) some chicks boyfriend who had to go and watch a ****** 'pop punk' band with his girlfriend who obsesses over them and pretend he's not jealous.
here is an extract from one of their songs:
'she looks so perfect standing there,
in my American apparel underwear
and I know now
that I'm so down'
not like one direction or Justin Beiber, possibly some of the most known people yet most despised people.
then these kids dressed up like edgy teenagers come along, chuck together a few lyrics that sound like that of the recently mentioned and the girls who hate Justin and One Direction freak out and love them, though if the other two had of written that same song, the girls would hate them and throw insults at them.
Actually, I'd like to see that. 5sos write a song for one direction, one direction changes the guitar to electronic happy sounds and I'll watch all the hate roll in with a smirk upon my face, knowing I've proved my point.
here's an extract of a one direction song:
'baby you light up my world like nobody else
the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
and when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
you don't know
you don't know you're beautiful'
there is nearly NO difference, except for the singer and the instruments.
here's an extract from another real punk/pop punk band, see if you can guess who it is, 5sos fangirls, if you are an expert on that genre.
'I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone'
I bet you don't know that one, I bet you claim to. It's Blink 182, Adam's Song. They are a pop punk band, much unlike your boy band like, beiber esque 5sos.
bam.
I proved my point.




I'm tired of not loving myself. Not having the support I need. My needs and wants are met with eye rolling. It's like my voice won't be heard until I snap and than all of a sudden I matter. I'm not suicidal but if I died today I would feel like my life was wasted on bad guidance. I also get that I am docile by nature but why do you prey on that? Expect that I'll just not care how far you push things? the wrost part is that your blood is in my viens. I'll always want to support you. But I'm done having you try to crush me with your shadow.

I got pushed back to salutatorian by a lying and cheating prick who isn't even smart. He kisses all of the teacher's asses and has a loud mouth to just repeat everything in a different way to make himself sound smart. Finishing high school with only one B and it was a B+ while he's over here changing his AP calculus grade from a C to an A just to be placed first. No one likes him because he's a huge teachers pet and isn't actually smart.