• mooseflame

    i’m afraid of someone knowing me. Really knowing me. Past all the layers of self deprecation bullshit and complexs (to hide complexs ) I live by. Every. Minute. Of. Every. Day. No one has any idea who I truly am….and the one person who I thought I could trust with a bit, just a BIT of me, has children he didn’t tell me about and has lied about everything for the last 3 months I’ve been falling for him. This hurts. So bad.
    The advice your roommate gave you….”doing nothing”. It isn’t the worst decision you could make. You won’t suffer the hurt i’m feeling. You’ll go on your way and move on with life. You’ll never have to confront the fear (one we all intrinsically carry, to some extent) of rejection. But if you “did something”? Youre giving yourself the chance to decide if it is right or not. You really have 2 choices, the deciding comes later.

    • Sophie Hatter

      Thank you for your comment. You’re right about the deciding if it is right or wrong. More importantly, I’m sorry you’re hurting. I know that doesn’t mean much from a stranger. I know this also sounds terrible to say, but in a way I envy you. You took a risk opening your heart to someone. I know you got hurt, but that’s why it’s a risk. You were brave enough to trust someone, and since, as you said, that’s your greatest fear, I can’t imagine the intrinsic strength you have. You’re amazing and I know that you’ll heal from this if you give yourself the time to do so. I’m sorry and I hope things get better soon.

      • mooseflame

        Thank you so much. Even though you’re a stranger, your words mean a lot and your advice is what I need to hear. Unfortunately, things aren’t going to get better….I have to give myself time as you say. One more thought: analysing your emotion and fears will only get you so far towards a decision. (and might well drive you crazy!) When you make a choice, I hope you find happiness with whatever path you choose.

  • allie waterson

    To summarize, I was fairly (very) interested in one of my best friends and oftentimes I overthought everything I would do to make sure that I didn’t seem “weird” (he’s pretty judgmental). I was really afraid of him finding out I liked him because I thought he would think I was weird/never speak to me ever lol. I would literally spend weeks worrying if I should invite him to hang out WITH OTHER PEOPLE LOL

    My fear then (and sometimes it comes back lol) is that I’ll do something wrong that makes people think wrongly/weirdly of me and it does stop me from doing things as simple as standing up for myself or saying what I want. I sometimes would rather put myself in an uncomfortable situation so that other people aren’t uncomfortable (aka doing nothing).

    My advice to you is not to lose your fear of rejection (it sucks lol) but maybe to not fear what could happen in the event you do or don’t get rejected. Basically, what would possibly happen if you got rejected? Would it be horrible and terrible and he would never talk to you again? Probably not. He’s your friend––he won’t not want to talk to you. 🙂