I'll just get straight into the story of how we broke up. My ex girlfriend decided that she would rather spend her time with her friend that's a girl rather than me on Valentine's Day. it's not as simple as it sounds…. she lied to me. We've been together for nearly two years and I wanted to do something special that day for us. Unfortunately it didn't happen. You see, in the morning she got into a fight with her father and told me she was so stressed and needed to cool down. I told her to take her time and that if she needed the day to be alone (she usually always wants to be alone) then she should. With that in mind I fully expected her to cancel her plans to hang out with her friend by going to high school to visit teachers( also that high school is literally ACROSS THE STREET), but she didn't. She was literally across the street….and didn't want to bother visiting her boyfriend on Valentine's Day. She then had the nerve to text me at 9:30 pm telling me she was feeling better after spending the day with her friend and how she had just gotten home. You don't know how humiliated and how heartbroken I was to realize that I didn't mean shit to a person I loved for nearly two years. Now this relationship was bound to end eventually as now that I'm a month in, I started to realize how awful she was towards me. Whenever I was with her I tried to make her laugh and tried to make her feel beautiful (because she's so insecure) but I got no form of affection in return, or she seemed like she didn't want my company. Every time she slept over, she turned her back to me even though she had always wanted to "cuddle" or any form of affection. Every time I kissed her she she would make me stop. I wasn't myself. I wasn't happy. I wasn't a boyfriend. I was just someone that she had to control to give her car rides to places. As pathetic as it sounds, I had no idea; even though all she ever texted me about was a car ride. I wanted to believe I was with someone who loved me and cared about me, but I was too foolish and blinded by the whole aura of a "first relationship" to realize that I was being used and the whole thing was just toxic. But why is she on my mind? Why do I feel so depressed and mad every time I think about her. I see she had already moved on to someone else and it bothers me a lot. I just don't understand how a person like her could be so awful. I just needed a place to vent and tell my story.