This has been eating away at me ever since I started college:
I go to community college, mainly because I'm poor. Not "grew-up-in-the-projects" poor or anything like that, but neither of my parents can help me pay for college. So I bust my ass 5 days a week working for shit pay at a mind numbingly menial job so I can pay to go too school, and I don't want to sound like a bitch but it's hard. I'm working my ass off. Grants and scholarships help a lot, but even then I spend most my income on tuition. And my grades are starting to fall because I'm working until midnight and I have to get up at 5 in the morning to take the buss to campus and go to class, then I have to work that night again. If I don't get a 3.0 I'm fucked. I'm trying but it's getting harder and harder. I know I'm not alone- many of the other students at the college do what I do, but they are older and have kids or whole families to support as well, and god bless them because I don't think I could to that.
But this is the thing that bothers me the most- Rich kids I knew in high school are going to universities, and their parents are paying for it, not them. Kids who didn't get any better grades than me in high school are attending universities and I'm going to community college because I had the misfortune of being born poor. I'm working 35 hours a week and still living at home, and they're living on campus and not working at all. For them college is a 4 year party. I work at a supermarket and last week was spring break (I had to work every day of the week) so all the kids I knew in high school that are now living on campus came home and I saw them. We would talk for a little bit and catch up, and it seems like they're having a blast. They're making friends, they have girlfriends, they're in clubs and organizations and shit. My life right now consist of 4 things: eating, sleeping, going to class, and working. I'm not as close to my friends anymore because I don't have time to spend with them. And even though there are plenty of attractive women on campus, I don't have the time or money to go on dates. But the thing is, when I talked to my old acquaintances who are living on campus I feel so ashamed. I don't know why. It's hard to keep your self respect in front of someone you know when your in a stupid looking work uniform. And when I told them I'm going to community college they just say "oh" as if I'm some kind of dumbass. I'm sorry my father is a blue collar laborer and not a doctor or a lawyer. I just feel like things are rigged against me. I could get stellar grades and to everything right and a rich kid could get shitty grades and drop out, and the rich kid would still do better than me just because he's rich. If a rich kid got a .05 GPA for a year he would still go to college and have opportunities, but if I don't get a 3.0 I'm going to have to cough up even more money, and I don't know where that money will come from. I feel like I'm hiking a steep mountain with a backpack full of rocks and others are just taking a cable car to the top. This is why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
But I'm determined to succeed- Fuck all them with their nice cars and new clothes. I want to succeed more than anything else and one day these rich ne're do wells will be working for me.