I will straight out say it that I am a daca Student. I was brought to the U.S at age 4 and don't know much about anything about my home country. That made me not give up on anything though. I struggled to get where I am now. Kept my grades up. Finished High school and got my diploma. I was accepted into many schools, with Scholarships but the scholarships werent for a lot of money, biggest one I got was for $20,000 a year but the college was more expensive even with it. I ended up going to a community college instead. I'm about to graduate this semester and I don't know what to do. College is expensive and I can't even accept financial aid as I am not a citizen. Scholarships are low for Daca Students, and those that are available are for high school seniors or you have to be a resident of a different state. It just makes me depressed because I want to make someone out of myself and show my mom that everything was all worth it.
My father is also leaving us. Ever since he got a heart attack and they had to put STEMS in him, he has not been the same person. He was always distancing himself and was really never a father from there. Now he'll leave us. I feel like not caring because of how distance he has become but it's impossible since he's my father. My mom has cried because of how much he has changed and how he shows no love for her. He doesn't show any love to either me or my sister.
Years after an emotionally abusive relationship, I found someone. I fell in love with them after a long while. But they decided to slowly and slowly distance themselves. Told me that she wanted to find herself, in God, and to be actually good. This is why she has kept her distance. It's hard loving someone who doesn't want to be with you, at least right now. Haven't even told her that I love her. I'm scared to tell her. I feel like I'm broken, and a mess to even tell her that I'm in love with her.
I know that one day I'll be better but I don't know when that'll be. I want to be better now….. I really do…