I can't fucking take this anymore. I love my boyfriend dearly I really do but he says the meanest things just because he's not thinking before he's speaks. For example, tonight he told me I was a nihilist. I know damn well I'm not. I'm strong in my religion and I try my hardest to live in such a way that I'm proud of who I am and so is God. I am not perfect. I have made major mistakes in life and some have cost me a great deal. He has no right to make snap judgements about me or preach to me like he's better than me and on a high horse. He judges me and my family. I never claimed perfection and my family is far from it as well but they're perfect for me. He blames my mistakes on them when it's me who made the choices I did. I AM NOT PERFECT. I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. IM NOT GOING TO BE THE PERFECT LITTLE WIFE YOU WANT. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURE THAT PLACES ON ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW IM GOING TO BE A WONDERFUL MOTHER WHEN I DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE IM DONE GROWING UP MYSELF. I AM 19. I HAVE SO MUCH GROWING AND LEARNING LEFT TO DO. ALSO HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND NOT TELL ME HOW I NEED TO START READING MORE OR IM GOING TO GET STUPID JUST BECAUSE I READ BOTANICAL WRONG. WHO THE FUCK MADE YOU THE FUCKING JUDGE YOU PRIDEFUL SON OF A BITCH. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND BEEN IN THE DARKEST PLACES WHERE I DONT EVEN WANT TO KEEP GOING BUT I PULLED THROUGH. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME WHEN I AM GIVING LIFE ALL I HAVE. WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ALL OF THE SHOTS. WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM LIKE YOU PLAN. WHAT IF I FIND A CAREER I TRULY LOVE AND I DONT WANT TO GIVE IT UP. I WANT KIDS BUT IM NOT READY RIGHT NOW. I NEED TO FIND ME AND YOU NEED TO BACK THE FUCK UP. Ugh that's what I want to say. I feel less mad now so I'm done.