Every single day I wake up at 6 am and get ready for school, feeling like bullshit as always. But the classes I have that I have bad grades in are always the worst, and I can never get past them. In my social studies class, my teacher would mark assignments I TURNED IN as late, and I wouldn't get the points. Some kids in my class are just fucking annoying, and the teacher makes us grades our own assignments. Every single assignment, and most of the time people don't have them done. Why? Because he doesn't fucking tell us. He'd say what we would have to do, then the next day just fucking introduced a new assignment and is "disappointed in us" for no doing it, even though he doesn't tell us shit. I've checked with my friends from different hours, and they're learning the same shit we are at the same time, so we should all get the same assignments, right? Wrong. He doesn't fucking assign anything, but at the same time, he gives us a shit ton of work. Everyday there are kids saying "Wait, we had to do that?" In the cafeteria because he doesn't mention shit.
I can honestly blame myself for my science grades, and I could do better in math. But you have to understand that in class, I never talk, and all the time my teachers tell me that I have to stop being shy. I can't help that shit tbh, I'm too busy being scared that everyone will judge me and bawling out my eyes because of shit. Heck, I'm terrified to post this, because I think someone from my school will see this.
It's even worse though, my parents aren't that encouraging. They'd praise my brother for his good grades. "Oh, this is nice, but I'd really like this B to be an A." I kid you not, my mom would just straight up glance at me like a fucking hawk and say "get your math grade up."and just that! Nothing else, like "your other grades look great, sweetie!" Or anything like that. That's all she says and, and when I actually do something good, she'll just say "it's a shame you can't do that with your math grade." It just makes me feel weak and like I can't do anything, I don't feel like there's anything I can do, and it just brings me down even more when I hear a family member say "oh, you need to get that grade up missy." Like how the fuck is that helping me? It just stresses me out, and I feel like I'm disappointing my parents.
Not to mention I'm constantly sick. Everyday I go to school, I feel like shit, and I never even have any fevers. I tell my parents but there's nothing they can do but tell me "your going to school unless you have a fever." I don't eat at the cafeteria because I always feel like I'm gonna vomit, I've started eating less all together. It's just really stressful when your smart brother exceeds you by a million, and is constantly praised for his grades, while you carry your bad grades with no help at all. And I can't tell my parents either, they'll think I'm being over dramatic.
There you go, have a wonderful day, I guess.