About two years ago, my mother in law abandoned my fiance and I in California while I was pregnant with my first-born son. She made empty promises to find a house, a car and jobs for us but she never pulled through. She disappeared for months on end and then by the time my son was born, we barely had enough money to keep getting diapers and only had $100 dollars left to last until I got my next pay of cash benefits from the state. Here is where everything starts to fall underway:
My husband starts to talk to her again and he yells at her at first for leaving, but then she is able to manipulate him into sending money to her when we do not have a lot to send. He ended up sending her $30 out of the $100 we were saving! Even when I said no. She claimed that she was homeless and then she even brought up how my husband owed her for her raising him as a teenager because it was how she viewed motherhood.
Anyway, months later into living in Wisconsin with his equally annoying and very selfish sister, we were saving money to move into our own apartment, but again my mother in law calls him and shes asks for money that she needed for communicating with her husband in jail. I told my husband not to do it again but he ended up calling me 'cruel' and 'cold-hearted'. To fill in more details on why I have been feeling like this, she admitted tot both her children that she was doing heroine when she disappeared. When she called a second time for money, she sounded strung out of her mind.
My husband again sent money to her against my wishes. It happened twice as of this year because of more manipulation and guilt trips, and yet everytime I try to get husband to understand that his mother is trying to mooch off of him, he always finds a way to make me seem like I don't care about anybody but myself. I really hate how he makes me feel because of how he enables his mother and how my feelings don't matter, even though he says that they do.
I know that she will never stop badgering her son for money, but in some way I feel like that the only way to get my husband to realize that it is starting to destroy our marriage is either tell him I can't be with someone who doesn't get what kind of person his mom is or just leave until he realizes his mother is wrong. His mom has not job and no money for herself and I fear this how my marriage is going to turn out for the rest of my life.