I don't know where to start….. I have a lot of shit going on in my head and i can't deal with it. I can't blame anyone only myself it's my fault and responsibility for how I am where I am. I've lost control if everything, money, my life and family. I'm single yet people around me think I should be responsible for the my elderly parents. My mom died going on 2 years soon and left me with my dad with whom I have never had a good relationship with and still do not. He is a burden and very demanding and we don't see eye to eye on most anything. I am the eldest of 4 and my siblings are all tied up with their spouses and children and they tell me they have their own problems.
I've pushed myself into debt with credit cards and personal loans that now me bound and i can't even pay.
I have no food, it's winter and I can't afford home heating fuel, i can barely keep the electric on. I'm consistently overdrawn on my bank account and the fees are just adding up each month. I have a decent job and can't apply for assistance, I've tried to reach out for help but no one can help me. I've reached out to friends, the one who said they'd always be there but when I even worked up the nerve to ask for just a little money for gas to get to work they tell me they can't help, sorry.
I've got creditors calling everyday…. IT'S TOO MUCH AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE!!! I could work up the nerve I would kill myself to end this pain and desperation…. I just want to sleep for ever…..